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Speaking of SJP and Surrogacy....

mrsnicolewmrsnicolew
in Trying to Get Pregnant

How do you ladies feel about surrogacy? Would you do it? Would you do it for a stranger? Family member? Friend?

 DH and I have been talking about it for awhile now. We have close friends who are Little People and she can get pregnant but hasn't been able to carry a baby for longer than a few weeks. After this baby we are thinking we may do it for them. Of course with their egg and sperm. Do you think it could get messy doing it for a friend?

I know we're at least 2 years away from doing it but the post about SJP made me think about it and thought I would see what you ladies thought about the whole idea of surrogacy.

 

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Re: Speaking of SJP and Surrogacy....

  • 4realyo4realyo
    It is something I would consider doing for one of my sisters or my BFF (probably no one else). I think I would have to be in the situation to make an actual decision.
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  • blessedinthewestblessedinthewest member

    I think it takes a very giving and generous person to do that.  I'm sorry to say I don't know if I could.  If you are ok with it I think it is a wonderful thing to do.  Don't people get paid to do that?

     

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  • epphdepphd member

    For women who simply cannot carry a baby, I think surrogacy is a wonderful option and a tremendous gift to give.  People can dismiss the idea of having genetically linked offspring, but 99.99% of people on this board are trying to have babies with their husbands - why should surrogacy be frowned upon?

    I have a very good friend through the nest who is using a surrogate because of gene mutations that prevent her from carrying.  It is a complicated road but it will probably lead her to her baby.

    If you decide to pursue it, know that it is cumbersome legally and psychologically, and you will be required to undergo a lot of medical and psychological evaluation.  But if you can provide someone the gift of their child - wow.  How cool!

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  • BcbscorpBcbscorp member
    I would do it for close family or friends, of course dependant on the situation. However it would be very contractual and all that good stuff. If it turned out I couldn't carry a pregnancy as required I would look into it as long as it was my eggs and DH's sperm. If we are going to have a baby it either needs to be both of ours or neither. I personally don't like the idea of sperm or egg donors, I would rather adopt!
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  • vshadd00vshadd00 member
    My Dh says I always think the worst, so yeah I have thought about surrogacy but the opposite of what you are talking about. I would consider having it done and I think depending on who it was I would do the same for someone I was really close to.
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  • mrsnicolewmrsnicolew
    yeah, I don't know if I agree with doing it as a career choice (some women do it over and over again!) but I know that our friends would make excellent parents and I know how badly she wants a child. They are on the Little People of America adoption list but it's 21 people long and could take between 5-6 years before they make the top of the list. She is my best friend and I can't imagine doing it for a stranger but for my best friend, I'd do it right now if I could!
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  • mymeemymee

    It might be just me, but I see a big difference between surrogacy and pregnancy considering it's their baby from the get go.  Down to the fact that it's their genes.  I'm a person who could compartmentalize things, though, so that might be a needed trait.  But yes, I think I could do this for someone I was close to.

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  • Nova726Nova726 member

    I like to think that I would do it, but realistically I think I'd become really attached to the baby and would have a very hard time giving it up when the time comes. 

    I would have to be in that position to know for sure though, I would do just about anything for my close friends and family.

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  • tct1219tct1219 member
    i don't judge anyone who does it but i personally don't believe in it.
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  • sassyweddinggalsassyweddinggal

    I would definately do it for my sister or brothers. (obviously their wives).

    The only thing I'd be worried about is living life like normal without someone telling me I couldn't do this or that because I'm carrying THEIR baby.

    I would also consider having someone else carry my own baby, but i'd lean towards adoption first.

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  • gidgegidge member

    I have thought about it, and think it is an amazing gift to give a couple who can't carry their own child.  That's said, since I don't know that DH and I will be able to have a baby without using a donor, so I don't know if I could do this.

    I think I would want to be able to have a baby with him first  - maybe if we go for adoption I might change my mind....  It's hard to say at this point.  Right now we're trying to figure out so many things for ourselves.

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  • epphdepphd member

    imagetct1219:
    i don't judge anyone who does it but i personally don't believe in it.

    tct - I am very curious as to why you are opposed to surrogacy as a concept - or are you just not in favor of doing it yourself? 

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    I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
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