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F/U so heres the deal....

ECUTeacherECUTeacher
in Parenting after a Loss

A good college friend asked me to be an honorary bridesmaid. We haven't really spent a lot of time together since college so I wasn't really expecting to be in her wedding. I thought it could go either way. She called me to say she wanted me involved. I assumed BM, but she asked me to be an honorary. I was too shocked to say anything. I agreed. (Our other friend is the MOH, granted they have stayed in better touch)

She started off sending me all of the same emails she sent her other BMs. Telling me about all of the showers and the bach weekend and whatnot. Well I haven't been able to attend any of the parties bc of Austin and I won't be going to the bach weekend for the same reason.

I tried to ask her what I needed to know as far as the rehearsal and dinner, but she didn't really make it clear if she expected me there. All she has said is what color dress I need to buy. UGH, she keeps saying "The girls are wearing this..." "The girls are carrying that...."

Anyways, today she sent me a FB message asking me and her LITTLE COUSIN to hand out freaking programs at the wedding. I feel like it is such a slap in the face. If I was outspoken, I would tell her that I would much rather attend her wedding as a guest that be an honorary. I feel like I wasn't good enough to be a BM, which is fine, but don't rub it in!

 

Sorry that was a long vent!  

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Re: F/U so heres the deal....

  • CrazycrustaceanCrazycrustacean

    Ugh that's a pita. Sorry you have to deal with that. ?

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  • versedversed member

    That sucks. I asked the two little girls I nannied to do that job and they were honored, but they were 14 and 10.?

    Ouch.?

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  • ECUTeacherECUTeacher
    imageNextVerseUnknown:

    That sucks. I asked the two little girls I nannied to do that job and they were honored, but they were 14 and 10. 

    Ouch. 

    yeah, that about sums it up! I'm not 10. I am a married woman with a child. I can take it like a big girl that you are closer to other people right now...

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  • mrs_ross07mrs_ross07
    I would reply with thanks, but no thanks. tell her you'd rather be a guest. She will have to get over it.
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  • MrsWarnerMrsWarner member
    I think I would tell her you are totally fine and not upset to just be a guest.  You don't have the time to do a lot and while you want to help her out, she doesn't need to do this to make you feel included.
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  • ECUTeacherECUTeacher
    Girls, here the biggest problem. I have no balls. NONE. I already said yes. In fact I lied and said I was "happy to be included in any way". The wedding is May 30th!
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  • CrazycrustaceanCrazycrustacean

    Eh suck it up & give her a crappy gift as a thanks for making you feel like crap.?

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  • MrsWarnerMrsWarner member

    Ask her if you can hand the pen to people signing the guest book instead :)

     

     

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  • Kaybee44Kaybee44

    It sounds like she was worried about leaving you so she asked you to be an honorary bridesmaid. Then she realized that she didn't have anything for you to do so she asked to hand out programs. Could you rescind it? Did she invite your DH and Austin as well? Could you maybe use Austin as an out for the job? Say "DH is worried about Austin being clingy. Can I maybe just be a guest?" 

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  • ECUTeacherECUTeacher
    imageKaybee44:

    It sounds like she was worried about leaving you so she asked you to be an honorary bridesmaid. Then she realized that she didn't have anything for you to do so she asked to hand out programs. Could you rescind it? Did she invite your DH and Austin as well? Could you maybe use Austin as an out for the job? Say "DH is worried about Austin being clingy. Can I maybe just be a guest?" 

    hummm, that's a good idea.

    I think I am just going to suck it up and hand out the freaking programs with a big 'ol smile of my face and tell her how thankful I am to be included. I don't think she meant anything by it, I honestly think she is doing me a favor. I just hope one day someone asks HER to be an "honorary"!

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  • AU_DreAU_Dre

    Handing out programs wouldn't bother me all that much, but I would definitely not buy a certain dress to do it. If it were me I would either hand out programs in my own dress or use DS as a reason to just be a guest.
    I helped one of my friends with her wedding by handing out programs for her, but she never pretended to make it sound more important than it was by giving me some BS title like "Honorary bridesmaid" (sorry don't mean that to sound harsh).

    Good luck with it all. It sounds 

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  • cluessbride23cluessbride23
    imageCrazycrustacean:

    Eh suck it up & give her a crappy gift as a thanks for making you feel like crap. 

     

    This

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  • SpartyGirlSpartyGirl
    Sorry.  that totally blows.  Look on the bright side, at least she's still talking to you.  In my situation I didn't even see the girl again til 3 years later at a mutual friend's wedding & she was SO fake I wanted to puke all over her dress.
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  • ncsubridencsubride member
    Sorry you are dealing with that.
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  • LovelifeinthesouthLovelifeinthesouth
    imageAU_Dre:

    Handing out programs wouldn't bother me all that much, but I would definitely not buy a certain dress to do it. If it were me I would either hand out programs in my own dress or use DS as a reason to just be a guest.

     

    I agree.  The dress requirement comes with much more than just handing out programs!!!

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