If You're Around 1 Year TTC...

patchen30 · April 2009

How are you feeling about it? Are you stressed or feeling positive? Have you already spoken to your Dr. and been to an RE, are you planning on going to one, do you want to try longer before you take that step, etc.?

I just think it's really interesting how much people's reactions and strategies differ. I often hear stories about people who were "trying" for a couple years and then randomly get KU but hadn't sought help. I wish I could be more lax like that. I think that happens less on GP b/c people are generally more informed about the process I guess?

bbjoys · April 2009

I'm a bit past the 1 year mark, but I'm happy to share my experience and feelings on the subject.

My OB gave me an RE referral a while ago, and told me to go back in December/January. I told her at that time that I wasn't quite ready yet, and we still wanted to keep trying on our own.

Fast forward to today. DH and I are still in the same mindset. We know that seeing an RE is probably the best thing for us at this point, but we still feel that we want to try without any medical intervention. Eventually, if needed, we will go to an RE. But for now, we are okay with just trying on our own.

I've been through different emotions throughout our TTC journey. I think around months 9-12, I got really sad and down. I avoided friends, and just shut down, sort of. But the last few cycles, I've learned to be more positive, and to not get as depressed.

I guess my positive attitude can be a good thing, or a bad thing. Good because I am not as sad as I used to be. But bad, because I just don't expect it anymore. Pregnancy seems like a fairy tale, something that you read and hear about, but not something that will actually ever happen to me.

craftlady07 · April 2009

it's been 12 months, only cycle 11 thanks to soke major stress a while back.

I know I'm ovulating, I know we haven't always had the best timed sex, I know we're not the healthiest people we can be, I know that is just hasn't been in the cards for us yet.

Given those facts I'm okay with not getting pregnant yet. i'm not setting a clock for myself. I know there are things we can be doing on our own without medical intervention to help our chances.

If I wasn't ovulating or there were things in DH or my past that would make me question our fertility then maybe. the fact is we're both overweight and we both need to get healthier. I want to work on that before throwing all my time/money/energy into going to the medical route. in fact I am seriously considering acupuncture before getting any procedures. I'm not sure, I haven't done all my research. I would consider an SA for DH and BW for myself maybe in about 4 to 6 months but until then, I'll just keep focusing on what I can control about the situation.

Pamela05 · April 2009

We're at 9 months and it's getting frustrating. We've had multiple miscarriages and think we've identified the cause, but no success yet. We will not do fertility treatments so really we're doing all we can do and it's wearing on me that it's not working out for us. I've tried to put my energy into something productive (my house) instead of worrying about why we're not pregnant yet. I just can't bring myself to paint the hopefully future nursery yet.

jenncon16 · April 2009

Its been a little over a year for us and I'm just recently starting to feel down - not stressed so much. I've talked to my doctor about it and we gave Clomid a shot. I just finished my third cycle (in the 2WW) so we'll see. DH and I have both been tested and everything has come up negative/clear. I still feel like we can do this on our own!

I'm trying to stay positive. I know deep down it will happen some day. It's hard. Especially when close friends and family are gp and having babies.

Hang in there...

boxie · April 2009

Great post. Thanks to all you wonderful ladies sharing your stories. My heart goes out for you.

charo1111 · April 2009

Thank you for this post. I've been thinking about this recently. It's been a little over a year since I've had a chemical pregnancy and even though we're not using protection, we haven't gotten pg yet. I've only been charting for 5 cycles. The first 7 months/ cycles we were kind of like it will happen if it happens. I am due for my yearly appt. soon so I might mention it then to my doctor but want to try for a few more cycles before we seek medical help.

k-mart · April 2009

Well I'm in a household with differing opinions.

DH wants to give it a few more months - at least 6 more. He thinks we just need to try more.

I would like to get the testing started and see if there is an issue then take it from there. I just have a fear that something is not right and I want to take action as soon as possible. I'm trying all the herbal things that I can - green tea, DHEA, Wheat Grass, Pineapple core, etc - besides temping/charting, opk's, i udes the ov watch for a few cycles. I don't know. That's our story.

ZeeDesertStar · April 2009

We will be going into month 12 in May. My DH does shift work, and I know that probably half or more of these past 11 months we really didn't have sex enough, especially when he works nights, its hard to "schedule" it. So, I am sad about it, but I don't think I would be ready to go the RE route yet. I have my yearly check up with the gyno. at the end of May, so I'll discuss it with her then. But I also didn't start charting until last cycle, and I really think I would want to give charting a few months. At the same time, I am 33, and what really hit me the hardest was realizing that I may not have a child before turning 34. Not that that is old, but you definitely hear that clock ticking, and we would like 2 or 3 kids, so that probably has depressed me more than it being 12 months. I try my best to not stress about it. I stressed so much last cycle about making sure we had sex when we needed to that I ended up not even o'ing. That taught me a huge lesson.

ALMA1107 · April 2009

Well...DH and I have been TTC for over 2 years and we still haven't been able to get pregnant. I feel really stressed out about it and I always wonder whats wrong with me. We have not spoken about this with our doctor, mainly because we just don't feel ready to. I feel like I'm in denial and if I go to the doctor then they'll tell me something is wrong :[ I know that the doctor could probably help, but I just can't face that yet. As for when we'll go and get checked out...who knows? We haven't set a definite date yet. I guess it'll happen whenever we feel ready to.

Good luck to all you other ladies.

AJG2009 · April 2009

The is cycle #11 for us. Cycle #6 resulted in a early m/c. The dr. said come back in 6-12 months if we still weren't pg. We've had a rough time since the m/c. Work for both of us has been very stressful and I've gained weight.

I'm hoping that summer vacation (teacher) will help reduce my stress, lose a few lbs, and increase the chances of conceiving. If nothing has happened by Aug, we'll be calling the dr.

bbjoys · April 2009

Thanks for sharing your stories, girls. I can really relate with some of you.

I feel like going to see an RE is so heavily pushed, and sometimes I feel alone in that I don't want to go yet. Glad to see that I'm not alone.

Anasara · April 2009

We're in the midst of cycle 10 of actively TTC (temping, etc.) & cycle 12 off BCPs. We found out 2 cycles ago about DH's sperm issues; my blood work came back fine & I have regular cycles but I'll be scheduling an HSG in the near future just to be sure. We'll probably be doing IUI towards the end of the summer if no surprise BFP by then.

DH is still trying to educate himself on what this all means; being from India sex ed is very lacking & his parents are blaming me, "the American" for not giving them grandkids yet. I feel so bad for him.

I go between telling myself to just "take it easy, we're working on it" & then having days when I cry about it. I never thought we'd get pregnant the first month but my ex-boss' wife (also a friend) who got pregnant around the time we started TTC is actually in labor as I type this. I can't believe it's been that long.

bbjoys · April 2009

kdodge423:
Right now my doctor is conducting the tests that need to be done (and giving me the option of deciding when to do them, which I like- it's not being forced, it's being offered), so I feel no need to go elsewhere.

That's really good. Glad to hear your doctor is being totally respectful of your requests, and is not pushing you or anything.

LOVEDBYD · April 2009

We have been TTC for almost 2 years. We both have been tested and were given a clean bill of health. I am very positive/optimistic we will become pregnant when it is the right time although, I always tell everyone else that things happen for a reason (not so easy to believe sometimes when it's yourself).

We started seeing a RE after about 1 year (mostly because of our age) but have taken no meds. We have only done monitored cycles to make sure we are having sex at the right time and that I am ovulating. Monitoring hasn't resulted in a pregnancy that I know of. Is it possible I've been pregnant and it resulted in a m/c, not knowing bothers me the most. The other things we have done is acupuncture/meditation/Psych-K/homeopathic remedies and lots of prayers. I do believe these things have helped us along. We are currently doing one more monitored cycle and then pssibly an IUI in June.

I wish everyone TTC the best of luck and a very easy road!

AMG06 · April 2009

Hi ladies - some of you might remember me, but it's been awhile since I've posted. I figured I'd respond since I can relate to a lot of you. I'm on cycle 11 right now and I feel very discouraged. I do not want to see an RE, however, I have talked to my doctor and recently got b/w and an HSG. DH had a s/a and looked great. Everything with me was normal except that I have uterine polyps, which can affect implantation. I will have to have surgery in July if I'm not pregnant by then. I'm really hoping it doesn't come to this.

Thanks for this post. I've been mostly lurking and sticking to reading blogs because I got so down with TTC.

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