Adoption
HTT: Pressure from agencies concerning transracial adoption
Do you feel like agencies put pressure on families to be open to all races?
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Do you feel like agencies put pressure on families to be open to all races?
Re: HTT: Pressure from agencies concerning transracial adoption
I got that a little bit from the Sham Agency - they wanted you to be open (and they charged you $5800 if you weren't) but the counselor that we talked to said that people generally aren't open because of fear.
On the other hand, we were already open to all races because we have them as close friends or family in our lives now.
Even though we aren't doing DA, it was covered at the informational meeting that we attended for our agency.
DH and I both felt like they were definitely pushing transracial adoption. Neither of us were put off by it since we are adopting from Korea, and I didn't feel like it was over the top, but it was definitely there. I don't want to say that they put people on a guilt trip, but they made it glaringly obvious that families were not really *needed* for HWI. They spoke of their desire to have as many profiles to show CC families as AA families (160 vs 6).
As I said, I am a big believer in transracial adoption, but I know that it is not right for all families.
Yes I do think there is pressure. We are really open with our preferences, but we have talked exhaustively about what that means, because let's face it you become very conspicuous as a family. We are confident that we will be able to handle all the challenges of a transracial adoption and that we will make sure our child knows their heritage but isn't isolated in our family for looking different.
I don't think everyone should be open in their preferences. I think if you are not 100% certain you can meet the challenges, then you should limit your preferences. I don't think there is any shame with having narrow preferences, and noone should be made to feel bad for knowing their limitations. Just as not everyone who experiences IF should jumpt right into adoption, it's not for everyone and we all have the right to grow our families in the way we are most comfortable with.
We actually felt the opposite with our new team (facilitator and agency). Our facilitator questioned us in depth about whether we truly were comfortable and prepared to be open to multiracial cases.?
Facilitator #1 did make us feel like we were a bit racist with some things they said to us. It was absolutely ridiculous but the feeling I got was that they thought we were passing on some cases because of race but using other reasons as a scapegoat. Completely untrue but unfortunate and made me feel like I had done something wrong.?
I'm glad that they do push the issue because perhaps that would make more couples consider and research what it would mean to be a multi-racial family.
Our agency has to turn away African American e-moms every day/week because they do not have enough families to show them. Yet, they have a two year waiting line for a white baby.
Some day ... babies of all races will be valued and desired ... or maybe that is just wishful thinking.
this!
I wouldn't say we felt pressure. But our agency does strongly encourage that families at least consider the option.
I don't think (in our agency's case) that's necessarily because there is not enough families that are interested, but because some families (perhaps) decide against it before getting educated about the process and the resources available to them if they adopt a child of a different race.
I, too, think that people should narrow their choices as dictated by their conscience and abilities as a family without fear of judgment. That being said, it makes me sad that for some families (through no fault of their own) it just wouldn't be possible to adopt outside their own race due to cultural factors, attitudes of extended family or community, etc.