Advice? 2 under 2?

violets_are_blue · April 2009

Hi ladies,

I'm looking for women who have 2 children under the age of 2. My DH wants to start trying again when DS is 1 year. If we were successful right away, DS would be about 21 months when the new baby was born.

I'd really like your perspective on this. How hard is it to have 2 children under the age of 2? What are the biggest stresses of this situation? What are the biggest benefits? If you had it to do over, would you still space your children so close in age?

Thank you for your input!

LDQAM516 · April 2009

Although I do not have 2 under 2 in the flesh...I am on my way. I am in the situation you are explaing, DH and I started trying when DS was a year and we were successful the first cycle...which means they will be 21 months apart. Although we are a little nervous, we realize we will never be fully prepared to have 2 kids because...we have never had two kids...I hope you find all the answers you are looking for!

Toni1019 · April 2009

Give me a month and I will let you know.

maddynkenny · April 2009

My DS and DD are 13 months apart. I won't lie...it's been tough and DD is only 2 weeks old. It's hard when they are both crying and need me at the same time. I've adjusted though and it's all about routine with my DS. Setting up a system (such as feeding her while he eats his breakfast) has helped. I think it's good having them this close together b/c DS won't really remember this time when I had to tend to DD a lot. They will also be so close in age that they will be able to play together. I am a twin and wanted my kids close together. I didn't think it would happen this fast though. Good luck!

akgram · April 2009

First of all I'm no longer a 2 under 2 mom but I was this time last year.

And I'd DO IT AGAIN ALL OVER AGAIN!!! Those first few months were crazy and hard but at about 6 months it all started to get easier.

For us the biggest stresses were having DH work 3-11p so essentially I was/am a single parents 5 of the 7 nights. It's tough doing it all alone but those nights when he's home it's easy and enjoyable. Also, bfing was hard b/c I felt like all my attention went to DD#2 while DD#1 was still pretty young and neeeded my attention. I did manage to BF DD#2 until she was over 1yr so it is possible. We had lots of books read while mama was bfing and we also went through a stage of lots of Elmo DVD's.

I think the biggest benefits is watching the girls play so well together, love and kiss each other all the time and seeing how they miss one another when the other is gone.

We've been TTC#3 for several months and hope it happens soon! I'm a older mom (35) so I've got that going against me but I honestly love having them so close. GL!!

akgram · April 2009

I also agree with one of the pp....your oldest won't remember this time of craziness and having to share so much while #2 is so young. Honestly DD#1 would be lost with out her little sis. The first thing she does in the morning is go into DD#2's room and say, "Good morning baby sissy!"

LOVE!!!

kada626 · April 2009

My dd's are 21 months apart. So far its been tough but worth it. I don't leave home as much because its not worth the hassle. I pay more to have things shipped to my house instead of running out to the stores.I work full time from home too but thats a whole other issue in itself. I need help when I go to places like showers. I went to a shower last week and had to have a friend watch the oldest while I was bf'ing the baby. If I didn't know anyone there, I probably would of taken both the girls out to my car to feed just so the older one would be contained.

I love that they are close it age. I think as time goes on they are going to love playing with each other. I can tell DD #1 adores the baby

The only issue we have with sharing is that the oldest sometimes wants the blanket that the baby is using.

The new baby wasn't planned but if I had to go back I would want her to come when she did anyway.

jlw2505 · April 2009

My girls are 21 months apart and I lvoe it. I will be honest and tell you the 1st 6 months were not easy. Once my younger DD started STTN at 4 months, it got easier but I would not trade it for anything. I was told by a few people that have kids aged the same that the 1st 12 months are really hard and then it will start to get easier and that by the time your younger child is 18 months, it will be a breeze. My younger DD is now 13 1/2 months and it is so much easier. The girls love each other and play together and just make each other laugh. We worked really hard to keep my older DD involved in everything but always made sure to give her 1 on 1 time with both of us and the same with the baby. it took a few months to find our rhythm and what worked for us. We kept my odler DD's schedule the same when the baby arrived, I work FT so she is in daycare FT and we still took her everyday and I really think that was key. I found that it really got easier each month and we just took things one day at a time. Also make sure you and your DH take time for yourselfs and when people offer to help - let them!

jlw2505 · April 2009

One more thing to add - someone told me to tend to my older child if they are both crying and neither is life threatening. Your older child will remember it and your younger one won't. Not saying to leave either crying for long but if you need to go pick up both - get hte older one and then get the yonger one and have the older one help out.

jillybean222 · April 2009

I have two girls that are 18.5 months apart and I think it's great. I did not think that during the first three months (but I didn't hate that time either...it was just hard trying to figure everything out). I think it either gets easier or becomes the new normal after the three month mark. I say go for it!

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