Baby Showers
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children at baby showers?

I know this has already been asked but in my mother's family we have children age five and below and then some who are in middle school but not actually adults so how do I specify adults only without offending those who have older girls who I'm sure could behave at our shower. It sounds bad to say it but I know they would be offended if I excluded the older aged girls, but I really do not want younger children whose parents do not care if they grab the cake while taking pictures and generally do not listen. thanks in advance!

Re: children at baby showers?

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    A couple questions - do you not want the older kids there either, or is this more about "well, if I invite the older, I have to include the younger".

    If you would want to invite the older girls, then invite them.  Address the envelopes to just the mom and the girls who are invited.  If asked why the younger aren't invited, the hostess just needs to say "This event isn't for younger kids".  Period. 

    If you really dont' want to invite the older girls either, then I say put "adults only" on the invitation.  I know people say not to - but if these women get offended at their young-uns not being invited, they probably aren't ones to pick up on "Oh- the invitation is only to ME, not my baby".  Sometimes you realyl do need to spell it out! 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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    Thanks for replying! Yes, I do want to invite the older children but am worried about how my mother's family will take it because they get offended by things such as this. My BF's family is not planning on bringing children and to be honest the younger children from his family tend to behave better. I'm trying to make things easier for the host and guests who will have to deal with spoiled children and things not going as planned :)
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    i would say include all children or none at all. ?people will take offense and be confused , so just do one or the other.
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    The thing is - if they get offended at this, they'll find soemthing else to get offended at no matter what you do.

    I don't see why this has to be 'all or none'.  It shouldn't have to be.  A friends 8 year old was invited to my shower because an 8 year old can behave.  Her 4 year old wasn't invited, nor did SHE want him invited.  Way too young for a shower. 

    But.... if you know her family and know how they'll be, then go w/ "adults only". 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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    imageshari_rngleson:
    i would say include all children or none at all. ?people will take offense and be confused , so just do one or the other.

    I totally agree with this!?

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    We wrote "Adults Only...Please" on the bottom of our invites.  I can only assume that if someone has to bring their child, hopefully they will call and at least warn us.
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    I believe that children should be an all-or-nothing prospect at showers... though I understand what you are saying. 

    Since what you want to do is invite the older children and not the little ones, you would simply put the names of whomever is invited on the invitations.  Hopefully, the guests will understand this and recognize who is or isn't invited. 

    You could also make a note on the invitation that says "adults only", then contact (or have your shower hostess contact) those guests with older children individually and tell them that their tweens/teens are invited, the adults-only was simply referring to the little ones.

    Warning: be prepared for potential "drama".  If you specify "adults only", and someone who may have wanted to bring her little ones sees a 9 or 10 year old at the shower who you made an exception for, it is possible that she may be offended.  That's why I believe that for all events, children should be an all-or-nothing prospect; and for events like a shower, I generally believe it is nice to include them (which means, let the parents make that choice - I probably would choose to leave them home with my DH, but that's just me).  I hope you wouldn't know someone so tacky who would let her 4 year old run around unsupervised, getting into things at a baby shower! 

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    Besides addressing invites to mom and older children you could put something on the invite along the lines of :"A ladies afternoon"  that means that you are including the pre-teen as a young lady...  (how fun)  and if there are other children it may help with the hint

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