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2nd Trimester
CandyMatte
member
Oh my gosh I need to vent before I cry.....
CandyMatte
member
This is going to be a long story I apologize in advance. My DH?s best friend is married to Bethany. I?ve obviously became close with Bethany over the years since she is DH?s best friend?s wife and the four of us hang out quite a bit. Bethany has always been a little on the crazy side but she has always been so nice and fun to be around. Last year Bethany lost her Dad to a car accident and since then she has been so f**ed up in the head. Her and her Dad weren?t that close (her parents divorced when she was younger) but since he passed away he has all of a sudden he become her best friend. I understand a death can be harder sometimes when you don?t get along rather than when you?re close. Anyway?.She always drinks now and she?s wicked crazy like always being obnoxious and saying weird things. I?ve been avoiding her since BFP because I can?t stand her and don?t want to be around her.
Friday night I went to a BBQ at 7:30?.Bethany shows up at 8:00 with her DH and she is so wasted you can?t even understand what she is saying. Her DH goes, ?this is what I had to come home from work too?? Geeze real healthy relationship. Anyway?I just avoided her and was very careful the way I answered her questions because it?s like walking on egg shells, you say one thing the wrong way and all hell breaks loose. She starts to ?hyperventilate? and cry?.
*Let me update you on the wedding we had to go to in March- Bethany?s DH owns a plowing company and they RSVPed NO to our friend?s wedding because if it snowed her DH would have to be home to plow (other?s believe Bethany didn?t want to go to the wedding because her and DH eloped and would be upset to go to a wedding since they didn?t get a ?real wedding?) Everyone was upset for the bride and groom because they didn?t go and the bride and groom are in our group of close friends. But they?re over it, life goes on, it?s done and over with.*
We?re at the BBQ and one of our other girlfriends asks how my pregnancy is going, I tell her great and Bethany blurts out?.?I HAD A MISSCARRIAGE? that?s why we didn?t go to the wedding. Well---think about this?if you RSVP NO to a wedding a month in advance I would think you would be OK enough a month later to go to a wedding especially if it?s one of your close friends. It sounds to me that she doesn?t want everyone to be mad at her for not going to the wedding so she found an excuse that it turns everything around so it?s ?poor Bethany?. Well, it didn?t work on me. I thought she was lying. She also said that she didn?t tell the bride and groom about the miscarriage because it?s a personal thing but yet she was talking about her ?miscarriage? for 6 hours straight at the BBQ. Weird. About an hour later she engages in a conversation with me again about her miscarriage. I ask her if it was natural or she had to have a procedure (one of our friends had to have a procedure about 16 weeks ago). She looked at me with a blank stare and didn?t know what to say like she was caught in a lie and didn?t know how to answer. To support her I told her that Mike and Sally lost they?re baby also and she has the nerve to say?Oh well she was smoking weed and I was taking vitamins. Like she was saying it?s OK that God took Sally?s baby because she was pregnant and didn?t know it and smoked weed a couple times. When keep in mind?Bethany has been out to the bars for the last 4 months drinking while saying, ?we?re trying?. I could go on forever?.anyway?to top it all off she then has the nerve to point to my belly and say with a major attitude, ?We?re all not so lucky? WTF???
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Re: Oh my gosh I need to vent before I cry.....
~*DUE MARCH 5th 2014*~
i love your siggy pic....
i hope you feel better after getting all that off your chest...
im sorry
look at the birds | bless this food
Ditto this - especially if she was relatively normal before her father died - I kind of feel bad for her.
First, I would not think twice about anything she said to you at the BBQ. She was drunk. Yes, I know that's not a good excuse, but alcohol does cause people to do and say things out of the ordinary.
Second, this girl needs help. Instead of people avoiding her, has anyone offered her some help or has her H suggested she seek counseling? Close or not, she lost her Dad and since they weren't close she is probably carrying around a lot of guilt. Plus, if she did have a miscarriage, maybe she isn't over it. People grieve differently. I understand that to some people a month is long enough to get over having a miscarriage and move on, but she is already carrying some baggage. There are no timelines when it comes to grieving.
She said she goes to counseling all the time....but then again, it's hard to beleive anything she says.... It is sad but it's also hard to help her when she is always drunk or on pills (that the docs gave her). I had her in my wedding party and in all of the pictures her eyes were only half open from either pills or alcohol. It's beyond anything we can help her with. But yes, we've done things other than avoid her. She comes off as being content the way she is though...
Just as importantly, it sounds like she's an alcoholic and needs help from a group like AA. I totally agree that you shouldn't have to put up with her crap, but if everyone around her has adopted that attitude, it's no wonder that she's only getting worse. Have DH talk to her DH about grief counseling, expressing that you're just really concerned that she's still grieving and potentially relying on alcohol to cope. GL!