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Infertility
argh. pending shower invitation
in Infertility
Remember my cousin who also dealt with IF and got pregnant on her 5th cycle of Clomid + TI after 18 months of trying? For a few weeks this winter both of us were pregnant at the same time and were excited to be having babies within a couple months of each other, and then I had my 2nd m/c. Well, she just emailed me to get my address for her baby shower, which will be in July. argh. I feel like I should go since she's family and since we have supported each other through our IF woes. However, I've already set the stage for backing out by saying I don't know if our next IVF cycle will conflict with that date. All I know is that if IVF#3 is a BFN then I am definitely not going! It would be so painful to sit at that shower knowing that I should still be pregnant from IVF#2.
Oh, and we'll also be seeing her a couple weeks before the shower for the July 4th weekend, as long as IVF doesn't interfere. That's a lot of pregnant belly in one month.
WWYD?
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Re: argh. pending shower invitation
I have a similar situation. My cousin-in-law and I were pregnant at the same time. Our due dates were 2 wks apart. I m/c. Her due date got moved up to 5 days after mine. Her shower is coming up. I am unsure if I will be able to handle it emotionally - especially since it is shortly after my estimated ET but before my Beta (but of course I will POAS). So I made plans to give myself an "out" if I need it.
So my advice is to come up with a quality excuse that gives you the option of either going or not. RSVP with the excuse saying, "I don't know if X will be done in time so don't count on me for food but if it is I will try to get there for the rest of the party!" You then will have the freedom to attend or not, for as long as you wish.
If it were me, I wouldn't go.
I know it may seem selfish but you can only go through so much emotionally. You my dear have had a pretty rough time lately and I think that you have to decline. But if you feel that you need to go, I say go but don't stick around. The last shower I went to was before we started IVF and my SIL and I made a 1 hour appearance and left. No one noticed.
Take it day by day and wait and see how you feel when you actually have to RSVP for the baby shower.
If you can't deal with it...don't go!! I wouldn't wish IF on anyone, as it is so mentally taxing. Do what's best for you to stay sane.
I went to a baby shower recently and I was okay, but if I wasn't feeling up to it, I wouldn't hesitated to decline.