Trying to Get Pregnant

My husband no longer wants to TTC

I've been bawling all weekend, he said he's not ready and he doesn't know when he'll be ready. I asked what if something happened the last few months you wouldn't be happy and he said no I forced him into TTC and he would have resented me so he's glad we didn't get KU. I'm 32 he's 36 my clock is ticking but he doesn't give a freaking crap! I want a baby so badly, my dreams of being a mother are shattered, I partially want to poke holes in his stupid condoms but I don't want them to tear! What do you I do?????

 

 

 

(This is for Rogue Lily happy monday!)

Re: My husband no longer wants to TTC

  • Wish I knew what to say to make you feel better.  Don't give up hope though. 

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  • hahahahaha!!!

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  • I definitley would not poke holes in his condoms. I'm sorry that he feels that way, but it's better that you're both ready than bringing a baby into the mix.
  • I definitley would not poke holes in his condoms. I'm sorry that he feels that way, but it's better that you're both ready before bringing a baby into the mix.
  • I'm sorry you are going through this. 

    I hate to say it, but you really can't do much.  You can't force someone into wanting a baby.  If he's not ready, you can't force it.

    imageimageimage
  • I am so sorry to hear that. My dh was like that at first. He is 27 and I will be 32 next month. Just 2 years ago he was like i want to wait 5 years and I was like are you kidding me I am not getting any older. he was like quit pressuring me and finally he came around.. Good luck to you..
  • MSC03MSC03 member
    I love you guys.
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  • I'm so sorry honey! Honestly there is nothing you can do other than talk to him and try to find out what's going on in that head of his. There might be something simple setting him off or he may truley not be ready. You need to talk it out and go from there, poking holes wont solve anything and you don't need him resenting you.

    Best of luck!

  • I would file for divorce. Immediatley! Smile
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  • I say poke away --- the baby will grow on him someday
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  • imageKie310:
    I say poke away --- the baby will grow on him someday

    LMAO.  Ditto.

    You guys have made my Monday! 

  • Boy, those newbies just stand out like a parrot in a flock of crows huh?

     

  • image
    ?Transatlantic Blonde?
    image
    it's called a kilt, he's scottish
    image
  • imageM.Monkey.:

    Boy, those newbies just stand out like a parrot in a flock of crows huh?

     

    LMAO!

  • You guys are great!!

    I ditto poking at the condoms!

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  • imageMelaina25:
    image
    LOL, you just made my Monday Melaina.
  • LMAO!  I totally missed that last line until I started reading comments.  Good one!
  • Rogue Lily asks and I command. sorry to everyone who thought it was real! And I must say I do not promote poking condoms!
  • Nicely done, I didn't realize I was being punked until the very end.  But shame on you for making me sad for you until then!
  • imageJennicap:
    Rogue Lily asks and I command. sorry to everyone who thought it was real! And I must say I do not promote poking condoms!

     

    Me either!!!

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  • imagejennifer_h_rn:
    Nicely done, I didn't realize I was being punked until the very end.  But shame on you for making me sad for you until then!

     aww I'm sorry but happy monday!

  • imageM.Monkey.:

    Boy, those newbies just stand out like a parrot in a flock of crows huh?

     

    Far from a newb but I must be real tired cause I didn't pick up on the joke! I read that last line AFTER I posted! Oh well!

  • imageJennicap:
    Rogue Lily asks and I command. sorry to everyone who thought it was real! And I must say I do not promote poking condoms!

    Oh crap...I failed to read that little note on the bottom too! lol Good one!

  • hahaha, jen punked ya'lls.

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  • imageBcbscorp:
    imageM.Monkey.:

    Boy, those newbies just stand out like a parrot in a flock of crows huh?

     

    Far from a newb but I must be real tired cause I didn't pick up on the joke! I read that last line AFTER I posted! Oh well!

    :)  You have been playing nurse....you're just distracted babe.

  • I'm sorry. That stinks. Maybe just give him some time. He'll come around. If not, maybe talk to someone who can be a median for the both of you....GL in whatever decision you make.

    ?

    oops I didn't read your whole post. embarrassed......lol?


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  • imageKie310:
    I say poke away --- the baby will grow on him someday

    This! Who can hate a cute baby face!? lol 

  • TTC can be incredibly stressful, but maybe you can take solace in my own story.  DH and I tried to conceive for 4 cycles.  The temping, and POAS'ing, and everything else was making him crazy.  He had always throught conception should be spontaneous and all of my efforts with charting and using the CBEFM were freaking him out.  Anyway, in December, DH told me he needed some space from it. The process made him feel he wasn't ready. He needed time.  He couldn't tell me how much.  We took a break.

    Stepping away from the TTC process, however, was good for us.  In March, DH decided that he wasn't getting any younger (he's 39) and he was soon going to be ready again.  The charting and everything had just spooked him.  Now I am one cycle away from us resuming our TTC efforts.

     Perhaps the same will happen for you. Your DH may just need a break from the process.  I think men take TTC failure more personally than women do. It's like an insult to their masculinity that it takes their wife some time to get pregnant. It's strange and bizarre, but I think that is how some men feel. 

    My advice is to give it a few months. The "wait" is difficult.  But, I am so excited that my DH will be back on board and that giving him time will now make this journey something he really wants too.  If nothing happens in those few months, make a point to have a conversation with your DH about when he envisions the time to be right.  I hope you two can find a solution that works for both of you. Good luck and hang in there.

     ETA: Damn. I thought this was for real. That's what I get for trying to multitask. Apparently I should not bump and "work" at the same time.

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  • KLResq I am so sorry you thought it was real but your story made me sad for you but then happy in the end that you will be TTC again! I wish you all the best of luck!
  • Jennicap, you feel guilty now, dontcha?!  lol
  • My DH told me he was tried of TTC b/c of the charting and 100% planned sex.    But the month I said oh well...no more for a little while ... we got pregnant.   DH could not be more happy.  I ask him all the tiem about it...he said he got tired of listenting fertility this, the web says this...my chart my temp...the list goes on.  

    Give him a chance.

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  • I understand not wanting to poke holes in the condom. Maybe you should try having an affair. If my dh ever wants to stop ttc Im sleeping with the sparkletts man :)
    Lapband wife wanting a baby since 2008. 162lbs lost...30 more to go.
  • imageRhonie82:
    I understand not wanting to poke holes in the condom. Maybe you should try having an affair. If my dh ever wants to stop ttc Im sleeping with the sparkletts man :)

    I already knew that would be the case. Wink

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