Your thoughts on attending a bachelorette party while pregnant......

Rolos_girl · April 2009

So, a friend of mine from H.S ( not a super close friend, but a friend) is having a weekend bachelorette party in Atlantic city in July. I will be 4 months pregnant.

It will be an expensive weekend......about $500 for flight there and hotel......then paying for her meals and drinks all weekend. I will not be able to have a drop of alcohol, which isn;t a huge deal, but will still limit the amount of fun I have with a bunch of drunk girls :-) And I am concerned about the smoke filled environment that I am guessing will be involved ( I need to look into this)

I really did want to go if I was not pregnant.....fun girls weekend, drinking, etc.......and part of me feels obligated to go because she came to mine, helped pay for my room and dinner saturday night........

I really am thinking I should not go......pregnant, the environment, money (so much right before having a baby). And if I do not go, i would want to offer some money to help the other girls out, since she did this for mine.....but I am not sure she will want my money, which I get.

I am not sure she will understand if I do not go either.......

Would love your thoughts on this.......am I being ridiculous for not going due to the pregnancy?

It would be different if it was a one day or night thing and it was not based around a "party" city.........

jensneb · April 2009

I think it's completely up to you but me personally, I probably wouldn't go.

DereKim · April 2009

hmmm...tough call. i myself wouldn't go just because of how tired i am right now and m/s. maybe offer to take her to dinner or lunch.

policewife08 · April 2009

If it were me, I probably would not go. I would figure out the cost it would be to go out for the weekend and split it in half and give that. If you are worried about giving her the money just give it to the person who is throwing the party or in charge of everything.

I would explain everything you just wrote here and tell them you won't be able to make it. I'm sure she will understand your situation. It didn't sound like you were really that into going from what you wrote so I would just skip it.

kingery.12@gmail.com · April 2009

I completely understand how you feel. I just got an invitation for one. At the time I will be 9 wks. and would be "top secret" still. I don't want them looking at me and wondering why I'm not drinking. You're right about the environment too, however, if you go out, shouldn't most areas be smoke free...or is that just in my state?

I think it is completely up to you. I am not going to go to the one I'm invited to...I don't want to be a bore there!

chrystaleigh · April 2009

I wouldn't go. I can't even stay awake past 9:00 so I don't think I would have much fun, plus being around drunk people all weekend would be annoying.

MollyandChris · April 2009

My bachelorette party was in AC, and my friend who was 5 months along didn't come for the party, which is completely understandable. ?She didn't offer money, but she did give me a bag of goodies of bachelorette party items. ?(ie. bachelorette sash, penis straws for the girls, buy me a drink buttons, etc...)

GL to you!?

skinnursemandee · April 2009

Is it safe for you as long as you dont drink etc (which you know you wont), then yes. Is it practical to go, I would say no.

goldenleaves · April 2009

I probably wouldn't go. Money would be an issue, as well as everything else you said.

MrsM2008 · April 2009

I probably wouldn't go! it will suck when everyone else is drinking and having a jolly ol' time and you are ready to pass out! plus that's a lot of money to drop on one weekend. And the smoke...no I think she would understand. The bag of goodies is a nice thoughtful idea.

PAIrishBride · April 2009

I would go but Atlantic City is only an hour and half drive from me so I would probably just go down for dinner and head home, but that isnt an option for you.

You can still smoke in most places in AC, and AC does stay open until at least 5 am..I was jus at a b-party there in Oct it was a blas but I don't tihnk it would of been a blast if I was pregnant.

I would probaby pass but offer here to do something local like a dinner or got get pedi/mani still make her feel special. I would be concerned with the cash thing too b/c it will cost a lot to go out in AC for tonights and hotels are wicked expensive..like I am talking about 300-400 a night on friday/saturday nights...and eating out/clubbing entrance fees are expensive..I bought a bottle of water in a club at it cost me 8 bucks...

Good luck with your decision

beth thacker · April 2009

I wouldn't go but I would give her a card or something with some money in it. I think your friend would understand and tell her that you will make up for it once the baby comes! Ya'll can have a girls night out then.

madalynnsmommy09 · April 2009

Personally I wouldn't go, it would even be something I would think about. I would sit down and explain it to your friend, tell her you either want to give her some money to use while there or give it to another BM, or you want to do something special for her later. Maybe a spa day or something just the 2 of you?

LitlSara · April 2009

If it was a really close friend I would definitely go, but if she's just a friend, I probably wouldn't go. Send something fun for her to open like lingerie or something. You need to worry about your baby now.

deanbean · April 2009

I wouldn't go. Yeah, she went to yours, but she wasn't pregnant. Ditto pp, if you could get a present or something for her to enjoy during the weekend (pay for her to get a massage?), or take her out some other time to dinner that should more than make up for it. I'm sure she will understand!

newguardwife · April 2009

I probably wouldn't go either. I would take her out for a girls day, get manicures or go to lunch, just make her feel special. Also make sure she knows you want to be there for her but it's just not practical to take a trip like this when you are pregnant.

j*&p* · April 2009

If it was one of my very best friends I'd probably suck it up and go, but in your situation I'd probably skip it and just talk to your friend and explain everything that you've said in your post. Hopefully she will understand. I like the ideas that pps mentioned like offering to take her for a girls day another time.

absred2000 · April 2009

I have one to go to in a few weeks and I'll be 16 weeks pregnant. I am going out to dinner with them then going home. I wouldn't pay to go to Atlantic City while I'm pregnant for a bachelorette party. Save the money for a babymoon or a vacation when you can enjoy it more.

bob&bobbijo · April 2009

i wouldnt go. i live 15 minutes from ac. you can still smoke on 25% of the casino floor- designated areas- at every casino. regular bars and restaurants (non-casino) are smoke free.

thats a looot of $$ to pay when you cant take part in all activities...

biochemgirl · April 2009

I feel you. I am going to FSIL's weekend bachelorette in New Orleans-I will be about 4 months then and I am not looking forward to it. I will be going from here in DC to N.O. and then to Boston for a week for a work conference. I will very much be looking forward to coming home and relaxing that next weekend (which happens to be my 30th-looks like i'll be spending it sleeping!).

pechezncreme06 · May 2009

I am going to be 35 weeks pregnant when I go to my good friends bachelorette party. Plus I am going to be a bridesmaid, if all goes well, 2 1/2 weeks after my EDD. Up to you tho.

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