After DC and the 'tour of Singapore'

twolverton · April 2009

So it's very unlike me to post about such a topic but I just have to ask...

How long after DC did it take for you to begin 'touring singapore' again?

I feel really bad for DH but I just have not been in the mood... in all actuality, it doesn't even cross my mind most of the time. During pregnancy, I think we toured maybe once because again I wasn't up for it. Sad DH made a comment last night about DD being an only child because it was like 11pm and I turned him down.

It's just that when we finally get in bed, I'm ready to sleep... I hope I'm not alone in all this but just wanted to broach the topic and see what happens with the everyone else or if I should talk to my dr about a lack of drive. Tongue Tied

Thanks!

jml5q · April 2009

I read somewhere that bf-ing can realy make you even less interested in going on tours. i have no intersted either and could really go months between them. but i know it's important to dh so i'll usually give in every week and a half. though usually it's quick since it's been so long since the last one . Stick out tongue

fjaril · April 2009

Call me a dork. I thought you were reviewing traveling to Singapore with your little one. ha

PrincessBrideSarah · April 2009

DH and I have already talked about this. He was shocked when I told him that I was pretty certain most doctors recommend waiting at least six weeks post-birth. He says it will be a loooong six weeks.

misjenn · April 2009

fjaril:
Call me a dork. I thought you were reviewing traveling to Singapore with your little one. ha

I am right there with ya. I had no idea that it was ever called that.

rssnlvr · April 2009

fjaril:
Call me a dork. I thought you were reviewing traveling to Singapore with your little one. ha

haha...it's an old term we used to use on the main board. It came from Flymanswife when she was working in Singapore and her hubby would come and visit her. Wink

richardslove · April 2009

For us at the beginning, we'd have sex maybe once a month. Since dd turned 1 and her sleep habits have been more consistent=mommy getting more sleep, we've had sex more often. I make sure we're connecting in other ways as well (kissing, hand holding, touching, etc......)

abbysmom1005 · April 2009

You are not alone. It was about 5 months PP before we toured. Very sad now that I think about it. But, honestly back then like you said I just did not think about sex. Not so much that I had no drive, but I was just so damn tired all the time that sleep took precedence. It did not help that I started my student teaching soon after Abby was born, which meant working 50+ hours a week. DH also works night so we were just so out of touch with each other.

Luckily DH was very patient, and I think he was pretty tired as well. Stick out tongue It did get much better after that first 5 month period.

AustinBride06 · April 2009

rssnlvr:
fjaril:
Call me a dork. I thought you were reviewing traveling to Singapore with your little one. ha

haha...it's an old term we used to use on the main board. It came from Flymanswife when she was working in Singapore and her hubby would come and visit her.

I have to say that I love that people here still use that term.

Abrooks · April 2009

Touring Singapore was awful that first year. We did it first about 8-10 weeks pp. Awful. I was bfing and exhausted and also was having to use estrogen cream to get any type of "natural" lubrication to happen. Terrible, terrible. After I stopped bfing, it was much, much better. I was more in the mood. And it finally stopped hurting. I am just very lucky to have a patient DH.

I am also not a fan of touring when I am tired. So - I've talked to DH and he knows to approach it earlier in the evening/day b/c the odds are more in his favor.

kellenickle · April 2009

I had a hard time with this too.. I think it can be a 'habit' thing. I had a low lying placenta during most of my pregnancy so no sex on Dr.'s orders. Afterwards I had a little complication and healed "too well" and had to be re-torn and re-healed so in was more like 3 months before we got the okay. By then, I just wasn't into it.

I actually talked to my gyn b/c I felt like I had NO desire so she switched my bc, but told me that I should make an effort to try... that sometimes your body just needs a push to get used to it and start feeling it again.

Taytee · April 2009

You've lost that lovin' feeling, WHOA that lovin' feeling... =P

It just takes awhile, I feel like it's normal. Certainly something DH and I went through. I do agree that "connecting" in even small ways helps, just be clear with your DH that it won't always end in the deed and to be patient with you about it.

Wine helps too

MrsAJL · April 2009

Our tours were pretty infrequent for awhile. A lot of that was due to being new parents but a lot of that was due to just overwhelming job stress (for both of us).

Now that I'm not working and much happier, we tour much more frequently.

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