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Does this seem appropriate? Ending a childcare "agreement"

jessicasuzannjessicasuzann
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Back in October, a friend with a baby close to my daughter's age offered to watch DD for me when I returned to work this fall. At the time it seemed like a good idea, however things have changed since (long story...) and now I don't feel comfortable with the arrangement, and I sense she doesn't either. I say "sense" because she hardly talks with me lately...part of the reason I think she's regretting her offer.

 

Anyhow, DH is going to take 2 months of FMLA time off to be home with dd. Then, my MIL has offered to drive here 1 day/week to watch DD (she's 1.5 hours away, so no more than that!) and my daughter's godmother is expecting this summer and has offered to watch dd the other 4 days (at that point, her LO will be 3-4 months old). I feel MUCH better about this arrangment...but I do need to end the arrangment with my other friend. 

I think at this point I would prefer to write her a note saying something to the effect of: "Dear ______________,  Thank you for your kind offer to watch Maeve when I return to work. I really appreciate your willingness to help me and my family. However, our childcare needs have changed, so we won't need to take you up on your offer. I hope we can hang out together with the babies soon, while I am still on leave. Thank you again."

 

Is that adequate? Or should I go into more detail about how our situation has changed? Thank you...this is just such a sticky situation already and I hate to make things worse. I'd really like to make things better, overall.

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Re: Does this seem appropriate? Ending a childcare "agreement"

  • citygirl_citygirl_

    Maybe go into a bit more detail but keep it simple!

     

    Hey, a few of us are meeting at Franklin Square tomorrow at 1:30, if you're interested. Colleen's friend set it up and Stephanie is coming, too!

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  • Temp174496125006552Temp174496125006552 member
    I think it's fine.  In this case, I think less is more.
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  • TMs1stBabyTMs1stBaby
    Why so formal?  This is a friend you say.  I'd just call her up and say that you appreciate her offer but have family that would like to help out too and you are going to go with that.  If you sense she is regretting the offer anyway, I assume it would be no biggie.
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  • jessicasuzannjessicasuzann
    That sounds like fun! It's going to be gorgeous out tomorrow, too. I have tentative plans with a friend tomorrow, depending on how her DS's 12 month visit goes, but she wanted to do something in the city anyway...maybe we'll meet you all there. Thanks for letting me know! :-)
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  • Temp146997687502158Temp146997687502158
    I would try to call her in person vs. email. Email can leave a lot to be desired. keep it short and simple though and then have a plan to get together socially so she knows you are still cool. I had to do this to a friend/neighbor. It is still awkward, but glad I made the switch!
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  • jessicasuzannjessicasuzann

    imageTMs1stBaby:
    Why so formal?  This is a friend you say.  I'd just call her up and say that you appreciate her offer but have family that would like to help out too and you are going to go with that.  If you sense she is regretting the offer anyway, I assume it would be no biggie.

     

    Well, the thing is I feel like the agreement has really affected the friendship...as well as a few other things that have come up since. I say "friend" because she was at the time, and she's certainly more than an acquaintance. KWIM? 

    I'm really hoping that ending this simply will help restore the friendship...

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  • Max'smomMax'smom member

    imageTMs1stBaby:
    Why so formal?  This is a friend you say.  I'd just call her up and say that you appreciate her offer but have family that would like to help out too and you are going to go with that.  If you sense she is regretting the offer anyway, I assume it would be no biggie.

     i agree it is way to formal for a friendly relationship. I would give her a call and say the same thing. If you make it a big deal than it may become one. If you keep it more causal than you are less likely going to damage the friendship.

    I was in a similar situation. My aunt was going to keep DS but there was way to much family drama so I backed out. It was a "deal" for a long time and still sort of is. I would just be straight with her.

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  • jessicasuzannjessicasuzann

    imagecaytibeth:
    I would try to call her in person vs. email. Email can leave a lot to be desired. keep it short and simple though and then have a plan to get together socially so she knows you are still cool. I had to do this to a friend/neighbor. It is still awkward, but glad I made the switch!

     

    I agree that email isn't the best: I meant that I'd write her a card and mail it to her. I wish I had the courage to call, but I feel like then I would equivocate more...and I really want to keep things simple. There's just some tension lately....

     

    *And thanks for sharing that you went through something similar and are glad you went through with it.)

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  • fIowerchildfIowerchild

    I think your note is spot on.

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  • franciscazfranciscaz member
    I love it!
    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
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  • jessicasuzannjessicasuzann
    Thank you everyone.. Again, this is a touchy situation, and it's not one I can chat with my other mom-friends with very easily. So I appreciate the input fro you ladies. :-)
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