Opinions on hospital visits

yogisunam · April 2009

Inspired by MrsO's impending visit and another recent birth where people go visit the new baby in the hospital and me wondering how common this is.

This is all hypothetical at this point, but I don't want lots (or any other than DH) of people at the hospital when I am giving birth or after. The thought of that feels overwhelming and stressful. Since you are only in the hospital a few days, I figure what's the point?

What do you guys think?

smilelari · April 2009

Personally, I do not want very many people visiting at the hospital

HazelEyes730 · April 2009

I wouldn't want a lot of people there but I expect that our parents would definitely be there and I'd want them to be. Probably our brothers and our Grandma's. Not during delivery but for sure after.

KLRoy · April 2009

That's been a sticky subject with DH and I. He wants to call everyone and their brother right away. I remind him that we're all going to be home together for 2 weeks and that anyone who wants to is welcome to visit once we're settled in at home.

Bottom line is that you have the final say on who is allowed to visit; just make sure the Hospital is aware of your wishes.

easjer05 · April 2009

Well, plans for a homebirth to avoid this issue aside - I generally leave it up to the parents involved, and it's hard to say beforehand how you will feel. If you have an easy birth, you may feel fine and be excited about visitors. Or happy if it's just a few people at set times. But if it's a really rough birth or tough recovery, you may just really need the rest (which can be hard to come by in a hospital).

Nikki1007 · April 2009

My family is all local so it would take a natural disaster to keep them out of the hospital, but they will not be in the delivery room except maybe my sister.

MrsO1111 · April 2009

I wouldn't care if family visited after the birth. I kind of feel like I'd get bored if I was feeling OK and enjoy the company, or that I'd be out of it anyway if I weren't feeling good and having a tough recovery, so it would be up to DH to entertain them or we could just send word that we didn't want visitors.

Also, considering there's a page in my baby book about "who visited me in the hospital," I've always thought it was normal -- not for random people, but for family and very close friends (godparent types and all that).

For the record, I would never be going to the hospital had the mom not just texted me and asked me to come visit.

Oh, and another thing I thought of, for those of us who live way out in the country, it's more convenient for the city-friends to go see the baby in the hospital nursery while everyone's still in town than to try to find time to drive 30-45 minutes to our houses once we get home and settled in. So maybe that plays into it for some people. I don't know. I'm rambling.

pmarie33 · April 2009

As long as I have a say to who is in the delivery room, I don't give a crap who's there afterwards. Both of our families are pretty much here in town and I'm not going to be able to fight them off.

Matsifloxacin · April 2009

i didn't mind having the immediate family visit (they knew to keep the visit short).

however, you don't get much rest because you are interrupted every ten minutes by a nurse checking on you, a photographer trying to sell you newborn photos, the food service people, lactation specialists, housekeeping, pediatricians, oh and yes, a crying, hungry baby.

so i say, if you don't need to visit, don't.

yogisunam · April 2009

Matsifloxacin:
i didn't mind having the immediate family visit (they knew to keep the visit short).
however, you don't get much rest because you are interrupted every ten minutes by a nurse checking on you, a photographer trying to sell you newborn photos, the food service people, lactation specialists, housekeeping, pediatricians, oh and yes, a crying, hungry baby.
so i say, if you don't need to visit, don't.

Good to know. The photography thing is surprising.

Thank God my family is so far away. I wouldn't mind my mom or my sister, but my ILs drive me crazy.

cluiss1 · April 2009

We went back and forth with this up until the day I actually went into labor. After laboring at home for almost 24 hours, we decided not to call anyone until right before the birth/c-section. I also labored at the hospital for an additional 14 hours. At that point, we didn't want to see anyone and just rest. Of course, my ILs didn't listen and they were there in the delivery room right after my c-section. Luckily, they didn't stay long. I agree with the PP. Every nurse will be in your room and probably see all your bits which annoyed my DH. You don't get any rest from the constant visits not to mention your new baby nursing/feeding all the time. We preferred to have visitors at home.

heather_09_15_07 · April 2009

pmarie33:

As long as I have a say to who is in the delivery room, I don't give a crap who's there afterwards. Both of our families are pretty much here in town and I'm not going to be able to fight them off.

This. I don't want anyone other than DH in the delivery room (and I think hospital policy is only one person anyway) but I suppose I can't stop people from showing up after.

Mainer-in-Texas · April 2009

I know I only want MH in the delivery room. After that, I'm not sure. Parent's and siblings are definitely ok. I don't know if I would want anything above and beyond that or not.

Matsifloxacin · April 2009

yogisunam:
Matsifloxacin:
i didn't mind having the immediate family visit (they knew to keep the visit short).
however, you don't get much rest because you are interrupted every ten minutes by a nurse checking on you, a photographer trying to sell you newborn photos, the food service people, lactation specialists, housekeeping, pediatricians, oh and yes, a crying, hungry baby.
so i say, if you don't need to visit, don't.
Good to know. The photography thing is surprising.
Thank God my family is so far away. I wouldn't mind my mom or my sister, but my ILs drive me crazy.

you'd be surprised to see who drops in your room. not one, but TWO different photo companies came in to pitch their product. i was like, "wtf? can't i get some frickin' rest?"

Chrysallys · April 2009

When we had our hospital tour Monday night the nurse brought this up. She said that invariably people will talk about the baby for five to ten minutes and then will start to talk about themselves. She said when they do that it's time for them to leave.

I don't think I'll have many visitors. My mom will be there during labor so that's a given and I'm sure Auntie May (MayT) will be there but other than that I can't think of anyone else who will drive out of the way to see us. It's fine by me. DH wants the time at the hospital to be about us as a family since the baby will room in with us the whole time.

JenniferL923 · April 2009

I only want DH in the delivery room for sure.

I'm sure if they have enough notice, both sets of parents will be there in the waiting room. ILs of course because they live here and I bet my parents will try to get here ASAP.

Ugh, I bet my boss will want to come by because he made us go visit our cw last year the day after she had a baby. We asked first of course.

If I'm feeling ok, I don't mind who comes, but if I'm not, I'll have to lay down the law. I really don't mind if our close friends come, but if they can wait, that would probably be better. I really haven't thought about it much more than that.

murphyec · April 2009

I enjoyed my visitors in the hospital cause they were a welcomed distraction. There is nothing to do in the hospital other than watch tv and the interwebs, so having people to talk to was nice. But I always ask my friends if they want me to visit there or at home and let them decide. Most ask for me to wait.

Jill070707 · April 2009

My family seems to do it all the time, but I don't. I find it intrusive. Not that I think I would think so if I had a baby (although who knows?), I am just afraid to be a nuisance. I am awkward like that, though.

lenloe · April 2009

my vag will only be on display in the delivery room for the loester. and afterwards, i assume our folks would be around and maybe my sister b/c they are all here. but i don't want people waiting around in a waiting room while i'm in delivery for some reason. i dunno. it's my baby dammit.

AlpacaBunny · April 2009

I also did not want anyone there while I was in labor, I just felt like it would have been too stressful. So I was really glad that my water broke at 2am when nobody would be rushing over to the hospital. The babies were born by 9:15am, so labor and delivery were over before most people knew it was happening.

As far as visitors went, we didn't want a ton either. On Friday evening my mom & dad, brother & SIL, sister & BIL came for about a half hour. Then DH's mom & dad, brother & sil came a little bit later. Saturday my one aunt & uncle & cousin came and my mom came again with my grandma & grandpa. Other than that nobody came, and the people who did come didn't stay long.

I would try to make sure you tell someone ahead of time how you feel about it...like your mom or a sibling or someone who can kind of spread the word. Everyone wants to come b/c they are just so exctied to see the baby.

E_sharp · April 2009

I'm such a hypocrite, because I couldn't wait to visit friends once I heard they'd had their baby, but I don't plan on letting anyone know that I am even in labour until after I've showered, rested and am presentable to receive visitors.
That's going to piss off my SIL something awful, but I don't give a sh*t.
I'm birthing at home (fingers crossed) so its not like they could come sit in the living room waiting anyway. But, if we go to the hospital, I think I would sign myself out after 3 hours anyway, and still wouldn't call anyone till I was showered, rested etc.
Ima b*tch like that though,

Mrs White · April 2009

Our plan.. and DH is fighting me a bit..

No one knows we are in labor till he arrives. This way we have some time between delivery and visitors. I am only allowing immediate family to visit in the hospital. Friends can come once we are home and settled. I need time to get things figured out and settled.

shotzie · April 2009

I only want DH there when I'm laboring and when I deliver. If I knew people were in the waiting room while I was in labor I'd feel like I need to hurry up and get the baby out even though that's out of my control! :P

I'm sure our parents will visit us in the hospital and probably our siblings/IL's. But I would rather keep the visitors to a minimum. I know I'll be exhausted and freaking out about figuring out how to bf and all that good stuff.

poontater · April 2009

If it was up to me it would me and DH on delivery day and family visiting the second day. But I am sure my mom will guilt me in to coming the same day, but I have made it clear to her that I do not want anyone in the room when I deliver. I am not even pregnant, but have to hear about how mean that is all the time.

Dr.Loretta · April 2009

It's your decision. If that's what you want, that's what you get. Most hospitals let you stipulate who can and can't be there.

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