Advice please

smilelari · April 2009

We are taking a friend out for fondue and lots of wine tonight. She just had a failed IVF cycle and is likely getting the donor egg speech tomorrow. I was thinking about bringing her a small gift or at least a card, but maybe now's not the right time and we should focus on distracting her rather than reminding her with cards and gifts, KWIM? What would you do (or want)?

I also have a fertility necklace that was given to me before my cycle and I would like to give it to her before her cycle, but I have a feeling that now's not the right time and I should wait until she's actually decided how to proceed. Right?

murphyec · April 2009

I have no advice for you, but I think that you are a great friend for being there for her though this!

Dr.Loretta · April 2009

Yes, wait. Don't give her anything (card, gift, whatever) while you're out, and especially not in public. If she brings it up, go with the conversation, but don't bring it up.

Send her stuff when you feel she's ready and can appreciate it in her home, in her own way.

Just my 2c.

Nikki1007 · April 2009

I agree with Dr.L. If you do want to give her something now, wait until the end of the night and not in public, but personally I would wait on the necklace until she knows how she is proceeding. You are a great friend for being there for her.

Stacy092306 · April 2009

I agree with Dr. L.

Jill070707 · April 2009

Tonight, they drink to forget.

I like the idea of sending - I know I had a difficult time in person. Good luck to your friend, I hope you have a great time tonight.

lenloe · April 2009

i agree with the wise dr l. i wouldn't give her anything in public, just spend some time with her tonight and try to take her mind off it.

pmarie33 · April 2009

I agree with Dr. L

JenniferL923 · April 2009

I too agree with Dr. L. She's so eloquent isn't she? :-)

yogisunam · April 2009

You are a good friend. It's good that she has someone like you who's been there to understand.

I agree on waiting until after she's picked her next plan before giving her the necklace. I think giving it to her is a wonderful idea!!!

easjer05 · April 2009

I'll be the 80th person to agree with Dr. L. It's very nice of you to be such a good friend.

smilelari · April 2009

Thanks guys.

Serendipitie · April 2009

I would give her something small, but not anything fert related. I think a small gift - wine, flowers, chocolate, pretty barrette, etc. would be nice though.

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Advice please

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