"ashley" needs affirmation

susanc07 · April 2009

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/14571403.aspx

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mb~zf · April 2009

606 mafia strikes again. She missed the entire point of last nights responses.

I wasn't using any form of birth control for 2 years leading up to TTC, but I sure as hell didn't count that.

Matsifloxacin · April 2009

I am 30 years old, but in dog years I would be 210 years old.

Mainer-in-Texas · April 2009

I actually do think that if someone is not using protection and having sex, they are either stupid or TTC (unless they are doing NFP or something).

:::ducks:::

ETA: I should have added a 3rd option because I didn't mean to makes this sound insulting to those who were just doing "what happens happens" type of sex. I was referring to teens who say f using a condom.

murphyec · April 2009

If she "forgot" to include it the first time, I don't think it can be TTC.

JenniferL923 · April 2009

I have mixed feelings about the whole defining TTC thing. For some people its different as they may not be TTA or TTC, but I think they need to be prepared for the outcome if they aren't TTA but not "technically" TTC.

I do think you need to pick a side of the fence and stand on it. To go with this analogy, after you've "hopped the fence" so to speak, you can't go tell everyone how you hopped the fence months ago or how you really wanted to hop the fence, so that's just as good as hopping the fence.

MrsO1111 · April 2009

Jennifer*L*923:

I do think you need to pick a side of the fence and stand on it. To go with this analogy, after you've "hopped the fence" so to speak, you can't go tell everyone how you hopped the fence months ago or how you really wanted to hop the fence, so that's just as good as hopping the fence.

hehehe so true

ebat · April 2009

Jennifer*L*923:

I have mixed feelings about the whole defining TTC thing. For some people its different as they may not be TTA or TTC, but I think they need to be prepared for the outcome if they aren't TTA but not "technically" TTC.

I do think you need to pick a side of the fence and stand on it. To go with this analogy, after you've "hopped the fence" so to speak, you can't go tell everyone how you hopped the fence months ago or how you really wanted to hop the fence, so that's just as good as hopping the fence.

I'd like to ditto this

pmarie33 · April 2009

Jennifer*L*923:

I have mixed feelings about the whole defining TTC thing. For some people its different as they may not be TTA or TTC, but I think they need to be prepared for the outcome if they aren't TTA but not "technically" TTC.

I do think you need to pick a side of the fence and stand on it. To go with this analogy, after you've "hopped the fence" so to speak, you can't go tell everyone how you hopped the fence months ago or how you really wanted to hop the fence, so that's just as good as hopping the fence.

::: hops on Jen :::

JenniferL923 · April 2009

pmarie33:
Jennifer*L*923:

I have mixed feelings about the whole defining TTC thing. For some people its different as they may not be TTA or TTC, but I think they need to be prepared for the outcome if they aren't TTA but not "technically" TTC.

I do think you need to pick a side of the fence and stand on it. To go with this analogy, after you've "hopped the fence" so to speak, you can't go tell everyone how you hopped the fence months ago or how you really wanted to hop the fence, so that's just as good as hopping the fence.

::: hops on Jen :::

::holds P up with an @ss grab::

Nikki1007 · April 2009

Personally I am with Mainer. If you are not using protection you are TTC or asking for trouble (ie teens, etc.). Not avoiding = trying (inactively, but still trying) But that said the original poster needs to pick a side of the fence. Either those previous cycles count or they dont, you can't change your number to fit into a certain group etc.

staycee · April 2009

Nikki1007:
Personally I am with Mainer. If you are not using protection you are TTC or asking for trouble (ie teens, etc.). Not avoiding = trying (inactively, but still trying) But that said the original poster needs to pick a side of the fence. Either those previous cycles count or they dont, you can't change your number to fit into a certain group etc.

this.

I just don't get why the first 8 months was left off originally if someone was indeed "trying" to get pg. Not just simply "not avoiding" pregnancy.

Mainer-in-Texas · April 2009

staycee:
Nikki1007:
Personally I am with Mainer. If you are not using protection you are TTC or asking for trouble (ie teens, etc.). Not avoiding = trying (inactively, but still trying) But that said the original poster needs to pick a side of the fence. Either those previous cycles count or they dont, you can't change your number to fit into a certain group etc.

this.

I just don't get why the first 8 months was left off originally if someone was indeed "trying" to get pg. Not just simply "not avoiding" pregnancy.

I don't really get it either. I was speaking more in general terms. The other question is - if someone is not on BCP and simply "not avoiding" pregnancy, how often are they having sex? Because that would matter. Busy/stressed out/not-too-horny lives, having sex like once a week - not really TTC. Hornballs having every other day all month long - TTC.

yogisunam · April 2009

I agree with nikki and stacy. It's not so much a semantics argument, rather a consistency.

JenniferL923 · April 2009

::watches post rating tank::

easjer05 · April 2009

*waves to Mainer and Nikki on the other side*

I get you are saying and agree that if you don't use BC you should be prepared for the outcome (so we can shake hands over the fence on that one).

But I do think some intention or effort towards timing sex is necessary - either having lots of it to cover bases or when you think you are O'ing (even if that knowledge comes from the cd14 myth or an online calculator) should be considered when trying to classify ttc.

Because I wouldn't count the 3 months we had sex maybe 4 times as ttc, even if it was unprotected sex, you know? I guess I make a distinction there somewhere. Because if you only have sex 3 times in a cycle and none are near ovulation (whether you are charting/monitoring and know that or not) - it doesn't qualify as well timed, you know?

Serendipitie · April 2009

It's all about the changing of the story. That's the part that doesn't make sense, you know?

mb~zf · April 2009

easjer05:

because I wouldn't count the 3 months we had sex maybe 4 times as ttc, even if it was unprotected sex, you know? I guess I make a distinction there somewhere. Because if you only have sex 3 times in a cycle and none are near ovulation (whether you are charting/monitoring and know that or not) - it doesn't qualify as well timed, you know?

This. Easer is wise.

murphyec · April 2009

Serendipitie:
It's all about the changing of the story. That's the part that doesn't make sense, you know?

This exactly. If she didn't count it to begin with, then what exactly changed to make it count now?

And since I am positive she is lurking *waves*

Mainer-in-Texas · April 2009

easjer05:
*waves to Mainer and Nikki on the other side*
I get you are saying and agree that if you don't use BC you should be prepared for the outcome (so we can shake hands over the fence on that one).
But I do think some intention or effort towards timing sex is necessary - either having lots of it to cover bases or when you think you are O'ing (even if that knowledge comes from the cd14 myth or an online calculator) should be considered when trying to classify ttc.
Because I wouldn't count the 3 months we had sex maybe 4 times as ttc, even if it was unprotected sex, you know? I guess I make a distinction there somewhere. Because if you only have sex 3 times in a cycle and none are near ovulation (whether you are charting/monitoring and know that or not) - it doesn't qualify as well timed, you know?

I agree 100%. That's what I was trying to say (although not so clearly) in my second post.

Chrysallys · April 2009

mb~zf:

606 mafia strikes again. She missed the entire point of last nights responses.

I wasn't using any form of birth control for 2 years leading up to TTC, but I sure as hell didn't count that.

That's what I said in her OP. That means DH and I were TTC for 7 years before we got KU because we only used pull and pray (if anything) for the whole time we were together. No BC and I don't consider it TTC.

ETA: Though whoa, I guess we were stupid in most people's eyes huh I just thought DH was really good at pulling out. Little did I know we both had issues.

Nikki1007 · April 2009

Mainer-in-Texas:
easjer05:
*waves to Mainer and Nikki on the other side*
I get you are saying and agree that if you don't use BC you should be prepared for the outcome (so we can shake hands over the fence on that one).
But I do think some intention or effort towards timing sex is necessary - either having lots of it to cover bases or when you think you are O'ing (even if that knowledge comes from the cd14 myth or an online calculator) should be considered when trying to classify ttc.
Because I wouldn't count the 3 months we had sex maybe 4 times as ttc, even if it was unprotected sex, you know? I guess I make a distinction there somewhere. Because if you only have sex 3 times in a cycle and none are near ovulation (whether you are charting/monitoring and know that or not) - it doesn't qualify as well timed, you know?
I agree 100%. That's what I was trying to say (although not so clearly) in my second post.

Yeah I should have added: with regular/frequent sex.

easjer05 · April 2009

See, there is no need for fence after all!

mb~zf · April 2009

Chrysallys:
mb~zf:

ETA: Though whoa, I guess we were stupid in most people's eyes huh I just thought DH was really good at pulling out. Little did I know we both had issues.

This was us for 2+ years. Like you said... little did we know.

gidge · April 2009

mb~zf:
Chrysallys:
mb~zf:

ETA: Though whoa, I guess we were stupid in most people's eyes huh I just thought DH was really good at pulling out. Little did I know we both had issues.

This was us for 2+ years. Like you said... little did we know.

That sounds like my friend... except you have to change the end of the story as after a few months she got pregnant and is due in July. Crying

My favorite part is that she told us they were using pull and pray, and that she cried for something like 2 days after she found out she was pregnant. She shared all of this AFTER she knew we had been trying for awhile and were going to see an RE.

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