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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
akayf
member
would this be weird or rude?(long and sad)
akayf
member
We didn't find out the gender when I was PG with DS. My mom couldn't wait to be a grandma and was buying stuff for ages....even before I was PG. She checked out the clearance racks all the time and picked up cute things. She went through them all and sorted them out(boy, girl, and neutral....I have the boy and neutral stuff...it's packed away with the stuff he's outgrown)She also knew that there was a good chance she would be in the hospital when I delivered(she was getting chemo every 3 weeks and had to be in the hospital for 5 days for each round) so she bought a bunch of girl outfits and boy outfits to give me. She never returned all the brand new girl things.
All those girl outfits are sitting there in my parents' attic. My cousin just had a baby girl. My dad told me he was going to go through the box and give some of the things to my cousin. I know she would love having outfits that my mom picked out. When she had her 1st, a boy, she loved all the stuff my mom got her.
It's silly for all that stuff to sit up there unused. I know that. We are planning on having #2 soon but who knows what it will be. I want my cousin to have things my mom picked out....I know if my mom were still alive, in addition to buying some new things, she would be going through her baby girl boxes to see what my cousin would like.
My question is, would it be weird or rude to ask my cousin when her daughter outgrows those things, to please put them aside just in case I have a little girl? Having things that my mom picked out would really mean a lot to me. I have lots of gender neutral things for the 1st month...mom bought a whole gender neutral layette and plus we obviously have lots of boy clothes that she picked out...but if we are blessed with a girl, being able to put her in a dress that grammy picked out for her little granddaughter would be so special.
I know this is a sad post and I am so sorry. It's been 9 months since we lost my mom...and this is the 2nd new baby in the family she never got to meet....she loved babies so much....and it's just really hitting me hard.
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Re: would this be weird or rude?(long and sad)
You know I didn't see your screen name until I got to the end of the post. I was thinking, don't worry she will get more stuff for you.
When I realized it was you it made all sense!!! I would ask my father not to give those clothes away and that you will hold them for now. It is something that can't be replaced of your precious mother. In your situation asking your cousin isn't rude either! But if it were me and I were in your shoes I would just tell your dad to hold off for now.
Give the clothes to your cousin and ask if she would be okay with laying some things aside for you. If you explain, I'm sure she would understand. Also, make it as easy for possible for her. She'll be getting tons of stuff so help her out by writing down the size description etc of the pieces you would like to receive back.
I also have a story to share. My grandmother used to make beautiful baby blankets for all the new babies in the extended family. When she was older and it was getting harder for her to knit, she set aside blankets for any new babies that might come along when she was gone. She gave one blanket to a cousin when her daughter got married and told her to keep it for her grandchild. Well, the grandchild never came. My grandmother passed away years ago, long before I got married. When I was pregnant, the cousin sent me the blanket she had been saving for a future grandchild. I cried and cried, because I never thought that my baby would get to use one of my grandmother's creations. Maddie sleeps with that blanket every night. (Sorry so long.)
My grandma Lucy, the grandma that my daughter is named after, made a quilt for a future granddaughter and gave it to my cousin telling her that if I ever had a daughter to give it to me. It was the best gift ever, because everyone in the family got a quilt of my grandma's except me, because she never finished mine. And now that my daughter has one....its the best thing ever.
Tess and Ronnie, what sweet stories.
I don't think it's rude at all. In fact if it was me, I might just keep them in case because I would be like you and want something my Mom picked out. But if you want to, give it to your cousin and defintely ask for her to hold on to the outfits--I'm sure she will understand.
I would do this. That way, you have some special clothes from your mom that you know you will get to use, and your cousin will also benefit. She can save the clothes she gets for you as well, but as we all know, sometimes the clothes get ruined (blow-outs, puke, etc), and it will be nice to have some clothes that were never worn.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to lung cancer more than 2 years ago, and there are still days where it's difficult for me to even get out of bed.
I think that it would absolutely be appropriate for you to ask your cousin to put aside any clothes that your Dad gives her, just in case you have a little girl next, and I'm sure that your cousin would completely understand.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom's passing. That must be so hard.
No, I don't think that would be weird at all...especially since it sounds like you and your mom had a close relationship. I'm sure your cousin will understand that.