Secondary IF

Crushing news

Everything seemed to be going so well.  All of my tests were coming back great.  I had 3 good looking follies at Day 10.  I was feeling so optomistic.  Then, we got DH's SA results.  He had to test twice.  The first time there were some complications.  So, on Day 10, when I was feeling really quite happy, I heard the news.  His count, motility, volume...everything is in the abnormal range.  From what I understood, it's really abnormal.  I couldn't see my regular doctor, so I got the results from the most insensitive dr. I have ever met.  She didn't explain too much to me, just that unless his count is at 1 million, they won't even attempt Insemination.  She more or less said, "that's bad news...hummph."  She mumbled something about making an appointment with the urologist, and maybe testing again.  She also called our first son a "fluke."  (We got pregnant with him without even trying.)  I just can't believe it.  I really thought that this was going to happen again for us.  I'm going to talk with my dr. on Monday.  I know she'll give us a much better explanation, and more information on our options, if we have any.  I am feeling really hopeless right now.  I have cried more in the last two days than I have in a really long time.  We agreed when we were going through our Marriage Prep courses at our church, that we are both very open to adoption.  That seems so scary, so expensive, and could take years!  My sweet husband keeps trying to tell me to just take this one day at a time, and wait till we hear from our regular dr.  He also is a realist though, and doesn't want us to have too much false hope.  We have been praying for some peace and some guidance.  I know that there is a plan for us, I just can't believe that it includes only one child. 

 I'm just so sad.

Re: Crushing news

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  • ((HUGS))  I am sorry Hon.  Hopefully when you speak to your doc tomorrow she will give you a better explanation and some options.  I know there are many girls on here and SAIF who have had great sucess with IVF even with severe MFI.

    Hang in there. 

  • Ditto PP and try to hold out until you can talk to your Dr.  He/She knows you best and will give you more information on Monday.  Hang in there dear! I know its easier said than done.  ((Hugs))
  • I am so sorry for you and your hubby.  There are so many women on these boards who can relate to how you are feeling.  Try to keep optimistic because I'm sure your doctor will have more of an explanation when it comes to your options and the next step you can take.  There are a lot of variables that each of us face when trying to get pregnant and I know it's just not fair.

    Hang in there, I hope things look up for you.  It sounds like you have a supporting husband to help you during this time--and a wonderful little boy to keep your mind on the positives right now.  It's not over yet.

    Wyatt 3.21.07 Grant 8.29.09 Ross 9.21.11 Pregnancy Ticker
  • I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this.  My DH has severe MF as well.  I remember getting the news and not wanting to leave bed the whole weekend long.  I went out and bought him boxers and we ordered special vitamins....all which did absolutely nothing to improve his counts.  He also went to a urologist which was nearly pointless (i think he recommended the $200 vitamins that did nothing!)

    On the bright side as long as he has sperm, you have something to work with.  It may be a longer, more costly, and more invasive route...but there are still options.

    We did IVF with ICSI and conceived our daughter.  As long as you have sperm...no matter how few or sluggish or weird looking, they can inject them into the egg.  I joke that my DH had the ugliest most retarded looking sperm that swam in circles....but they made the prettiest baby:)

    Try not to stress too much until you find out all the results.  Don't shut the door on any options and try to stay as positive as you can.  If you have anymore ??? feel free to page me.

     Good Luck!

    Holly

  • One last thing i wanted to add was that i think one of the worst aspects of the whole MF thing is the toll it takes on your DH.  I feel so sorry for the guys who are dx with this because that is their mojo......Even though my DH tried not to show it, i know it bothered him alot.  I remember after my IVF they said his count was so bad that we should possibly consider using donor sperm for another round.

    I felt soooooo bad for DH at that moment.  I would sit through a thousand needles, etc just so he could be the father of my baby.  Luckily, we surprised the doc and i go pg. and we have 3 frosties in the freezer.

    So give you guy lots of hugs and kisses tonite.  And let him know that the spermies he does have are "super heros"......that always made my DH feel a little better (he was a comic book geek back in the day).

  • You ladies are all so awesome.  Thanks for all the kind words of support.  It's nice to say/write this stuff to people who understand.  When I told my mom, she tried to help me feel better, but didn't say the right thing.  She reminded me to be thankful for the baby I have and that he is truly a miracle.  Believe me, I am eternally thankful for my sweet boy, and I knew even before we got the results from the SA that he's a miracle.

    Thanks again.

  • I'm sorry jarbaby. I know it's discouraging, but there's still got to be hope. You got pg easily the first time. Maybe there are things your H can do to improve the quality and quantity, and then you can do insemination. I wouldn't count yourself out yet. Good luck to you.

  • Super big hugs for you!!!!!!  I'm so sorry about this news... I hope you guys can still find a good option.
    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
  • I'm sorry.  I hope your doctor has more information for you. 
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