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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I'm pissed at my sister and I can't sleep
So we found out this week that she's knocked up. She found out the weekend she got home from partying over spring break. They're not married or engaged, so they are planning a wedding in June. I was actually excited about the new additions to our family (the baby and her boyfriend) but pissed that she is not going to ask me or my other sister to be in her wedding. She is having her best friend and 2 cousins. WTF??? No, we're not super close, she is closer to our cousins because they live the same lifestlye now. They're not married, no babies etc. My feelings are beyond hurt. She was my maid of honor. I just don't know what to think.
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Re: I'm pissed at my sister and I can't sleep
While I understand how you might be upset by this, really? I thought the days of being sad about not getting to wear a generic ugly dress identical to others were behind us??
I'm not of the mindset that sisters have to be in weddings etc... You just said you're not super close. I'd be MORE offended if I was asked just because she felt she HAD to have me.
This is her decision. Its obviously a difficult time for her and she isn't "super close" to you. So why? ?
If she is closer to them it makes sense that she'd ask them.
I know you are upset but I get why she asked them. Also, do you think she is worried that she is being judged?
Bridal parties are always a tough choice, but I always think unless you hate your siblings they are always first choice as bridesmaids/groomsmen. I could understand her maybe asking her best friend to be the maid of honor, but still asking her sisters to be bridesmaids. Especially since she was your maid of honor. While she may be close to these girls now it doesn't mean she always will be,but you will always be her sister, AND when she does have the baby these friends now are going to have a different lifestyle than her and probably not hang out as much. Single friends don't often hang out as much with married with a kid friend.
Is your mom or dad in a position to maybe talk to her and be like dont you think you should ask your sisters? Or are you comfortable asking her? Any chance she'd ask you to do something else? Reader, personal attendant usher?
One of my sisters got married in June 2005. I was her maid of honor. We lived together and she was like a second parent to my daughter (I was a single mom until I met Sean). DH and I got married in October 2006 and I asked her to be my matron of honor and she told me no (with some BS excuse). And we were close.
So, not exactly the same thing, but I totally understand how you're feeling. She's still your sister, close or not.
I think if you are at the stage that you need mommy and daddy to intervene to make you a bridesmaid, you've already gone waaaay into immature land.
Her life, her marriage, her decision. You've admitted you aren't close. Respect her decision and move on. It would be awful to have this be something that divides you further. ?
I've turned down 2 friends who asked me to be in their bridal party. Neither of my excuses was "BS". ?I had legitimate concerns about my financial situation for one (who wanted me to sport a 450.00 bridesmaid gown, contribute to the cost of a huge stag and doe, participate in 3 showers and then stay 3 days at her wedding even though it was half an hour out of town for me.
I don't think anyone is obligated to be in anyone's wedding. I think these are all really petty things to be upset about. ?
My sisters were in my wedding, but I was out of town and unable to be at B's wedding, so I wasn't in it, obviously. I admit, if A gets married and I'm not in it, I'll be hurt, but I will understand. We are close, but not best friend close. I'm 13 years older than she is, and am much more a second mom to her. In fact, I'm her godmother.
I also think I've reached the point where I'd rather see my son in the wedding than be in it myself. And considering our other nephews are 11 and 7, he's much more in that prime ring bearer territory.
Dear Erin,
I got married last year and decided not to have my younger sister as a bridesmaid. It was a difficult decision. My reason was that my sister had been involved in drug dealing and brought a lot of worry and trouble to our small family. I still wanted her to be at the wedding and she held my son during the ceremony, but I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid. I explained to her my reason and she accepted it. ..... You might be able to be involved in your sister's wedding in some other way, like decorating the chapel or reception tables. The main thing is to be pleased for her and you never know, the wedding & birth of her child might even bring you closer.
Emmy