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NBR (really): Changing Last Name Question

alauberalauber
in 3rd Trimester

When hubby and I got married 5 years ago, I didn't change my last name.  I had just graduated from college (which I put myself through) and was looking for a job, and didn't really have time to deal with it.  Hubby didn't really care (he thinks it's a silly tradition), and I wasn't certain that I was ready to give up my name.  I mean, that had been my name for 23 years, and I kinda liked it :)  But I knew that if we ever had children, I would want the same last name as they had, because it's easier that way.  So, here I am, 32 weeks pregnant, and just realized that I still haven't changed my name.  I've almost got everything together to get it done, so it should all be finalized before baby girl gets here, but I'm struggling - I don't want to fully give up my maiden name, so I'm thinking of hyphenating... and then I can still use either (kinda)... does that make sense? Do you guys have any input?

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Re: NBR (really): Changing Last Name Question

  • rommelearommelea
    When I changed my name I got rid of my middle name and made my maiden name my middle name.  That's what my Mom did too and I liked the idea.  It doesn't flow very well, but it was worth it to me to keep my maiden name in the mix :)
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  • DSteed-to-beDSteed-to-be
    Though I loved my given middle name, I dropped it and use my maiden name as my middle name.  My maiden is also going to be my DS's middle name since I have no siblings to pass down that family name elsewhere).
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  • chounTXchounTX
    I'm pretty old school and like the fact that I have DHs last name - when I did my legal name change - my maiden name is now my middle name - my name and DH's name hyphenated would be a mouth fulll
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  • SteffsjetSteffsjet

    To each his/her own on this topic.

    For me, I changed and just went with his name.  It shortened mine signifcantly which I enjoy...I can admit it!  I had a great maiden name but I am glad I changed mine.

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  • hisbabybearhisbabybear member

    For me, getting married was such a huge change in my life that I couldnt wait to change my name and really be connected to my husband.

    Are you sure it doesnt really bother him? If it doesnt then maybe you should just hyphenate it. 

    I would do what matters most to you. :) 

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  • lkaylee721lkaylee721 member
    You can keep your full name and just add DH's last name at the end.  You would kind of have 2 middle names then but it wouldn't be hyphenated and you could still be Mrs. DH last name and children's last name....I wanted to do that but the SSA did it all really without asking my preference..
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  • kelly beekelly bee

    imagerommelea:
    When I changed my name I got rid of my middle name and made my maiden name my middle name.? That's what my Mom did too and I liked the idea.? It doesn't flow very well, but it was worth it to me to keep my maiden name in the mix :)

    ?

    exactly this?

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  • echildreechildre
    If you really want to change it, than do it! You can hyphenate or use your maiden name as you middle name (my sister did that) or just use both names without the hyphen (a woman I went to school with did that) or drop your maiden completely. It's such a personal choice. Even if you don't get it done prior to the baby coming, you can always change after. I would imagine that you have quite a few things on your plate at the moment. Wink
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  • tlcallowaytlcalloway member

    DH was very anti-hyphenating...and I was too...but it is a personal decision...yours to make....no judgement here.

    That said, we got married when I was 29 and already established professionally....so i understand the challenges.

    What I decided to do was to take my Maiden Name as my Middle Name...(technically I have 2 of them now) and his last name as my last name.

     All legal documentation as well as professional docs are marked as First Name Maiden Name Last Name for me...

    Hyphenations can also be tricky too...would LO receive your hyphenation or just DH's last name?

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  • IU_babyIU_baby member
    I just added my maiden name as a middle name and have 2 middle names.  I have a lot of colleagues that change their name personally and leave their maiden names professionally.
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  • MidwestTexanMidwestTexan member
    I think hyphenated names are kind of dumb. I just took DH's last name and dropped my maiden name (kept my given middle name).
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  • alauberalauber

    I guess I hadn't really thought of just using my maiden name as a middle name... that's probably a better way to go.

    Thanks ladies!

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  • bchlvnmom09bchlvnmom09

    When you figure it out let me know...I didnt change mine either and it didnt occur to me until about a week ago that it might bother me when I send out birth announcements with

    Olivia ( Dads last name ) 

    Born to  Ashley (maiden name) and Steve (last name)

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  • futuremrsjhughesfuturemrsjhughes
    My middle name was my mom's maiden name.  Since I got married, I dropped her maiden name and I now have my maiden name for my middle name.  I'm not a huge fan of hyphenating.  It makes your name too long and I really don't see the point not unless you were well known before you got married.
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  • njkittynjkitty

    i didn't change nuthin.

    and not planning to either.  no one seems to really be thrown off and i think more and more women are keeping their names. 

    i have heard of women who socially change their names but professionally keep their names.  i would never be able to keep it straight but it is an option!

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  • ellie_0528ellie_0528
    I didn't change mine b/c my first name sounds ridiculous with my husband's last name and I didn't want to deal with it.  My mom didnt change her name and I was never bothered by that growing up (I have my dad's last name).  Our children will have their father's last name - that's never been an issue - but I don't think it's necessary for the whole family to have one name.  Lots of other cultures don't do it that way 
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  • MissTGHMissTGH member
    I didnt change my last name and my daughter will have my last name not my husband's. He has 3 with his last name and I told him before we got married and before we had children this was my preference.
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