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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
GASuzuki
member
Does your DH do the half-hour hold?
GASuzuki
member
My DH comes home from work at around 4:30 and either does work or go on errands for groceries... Then, at around 9-ish, he will hold Quinn for maybe half an hour (usually after I ask him if he's gonna hold her) and then give her back to me.
And in the middle of the night, I have to wake him up if I need help with either feeding or changing her... OK, not help...more like want him to take his turn.
Is it just a dude thing?! I love him and he's the sweetest (gave me a digital frame for my first day back at work - sweetie), but I'd like to see some more hands-on time!
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Re: Does your DH do the half-hour hold?
When I was at home and DH working I never expected him to take a turn in the middle of the night. I feel he needs to be rested to drive to and from safely and be productive.
At home the interactive thing will change when the baby can do stuff and in less than a year the kid will be at him the second they hear the key in the door.
Most men just don't know what to do with blob baby...
It is short lived so dont stress so much.
i just throw a stack of books at dh and say "here he just told me he wants you to read him these and then play airplane with him"
that keeps them busy for a while.
That's good about the short lived thing... But now I'm working, too, so I don't feel bad about wanting him to wake in the middle of the night. (Especially since his hours are actually better than mine and he doesn't breast feed. Ha ha!)
Definitely talk to him about helping out at night. ?DH and I had a huge blowout argument about this the first week or two and after that he is great with helping. I get up in the middle of the night and he gets up in the early morning before work. ?It works out great.
And as for the 30 minute hold I can't relate. DH can't wait to get his hands on DS when he walks in the door and it stays that way until we put him down to bed.?
Totally a dude thing. When I ask DH to hold her for a few minutes, he looks at me like, "Huh? You had a baby?"
He's the BEST daddy in the whole world and is so hands-on and great with Lucy. He does everything for her and he's just so in love. But they need time to grow into it. He'll bond more as baby gets older and is more interesting. New babies are pretty boring when all is said and done. Once they're more entertaining, he'll "blossom" in her new role.
Maybe hes just trying to find his place with her? Or isn't completely comfortable just yet with her.. I'm not sure how old your DD is but.. I've noticed the different reactions guys have even when I just ask if they would like to hold DD. I'm not speaking from experience on this one, DH cannot wait to take her off of me the second he's in the door. He's just smitten with her and since I'm home with her all day and/or night while he works (sometimes he puts in 12 hour shifts) I completely understand when he wants to just snag her away.
As far as getting up in the middle of the night, DD is up every 2 hours to BF. I dont find it necessary to wake him up just to watch me feed her especially since I just change her while shes up feeding. Luckily, DD only wakes up to eat/change then goes right back to sleep. She is fantastic throughout the night.
I wouldnt get upset about it overall, he'll come around. I feel really overwhelmed too especially when you feel like your the only one doing everything. But, it'll get better.. everything is still so new to us. Hang in there