S/O: were YOUR parents pushy and/or disappointed in your academic life?

Miss.Modular · April 2009

my parents were neither, and i did very well on my own. my dad went to an ivy league law school and even he never EVER once pushed me to be some superstar 4.0 having geek, or had expectations that I follow suit in what he did. i went to a super competitive school district, and i knew kids that had parents like nyc212..... one of which is an investment banker in nyc, and strung out on heroin by 25.

however my grandmother (my dad's mom) would always shake her head and say "I always thought YOU, of all my grandchildren, would go to law school" and cluck. heheh sorry gran!

JARbaby · April 2009

I wish they had been, I would have done better. I did not like school till I was out of HS.

Gramyson · April 2009

not once from either of them. i sometimes wish they did though. i am still philandering about. spent 3 years getting a degree to go to law school just to switch it up my 4th and final year to go to med school. i'm going to school for the.rest.of.my.life.

Better1/2 · April 2009

They never pushed any of us kids about any academics (5 total). For me though I just had it in my head that I didn't want to disappoint them.

They never pushed us to attend college. They gave us all a choice: if we chose to go to college they would pay for it and we could stay at home and not have to work. If we didn't then we would have to get a job and pay some living expenses. I was the only one out of us 5 kids that took them up and went to college! (of course my other siblings now regret they didn't do it too!)

Miss.Modular · April 2009

Gramyson:
not once from either of them. i sometimes wish they did though. i am still philandering about. spent 3 years getting a degree to go to law school just to switch it up my 4th and final year to go to med school. i'm going to school for the.rest.of.my.life.

lol 'philandering' !!

did you mean floundering?

AshleyEric609 · April 2009

My mom was disappointed that I didn't go for my Masters.

But as the first person in the family to go to college she was very proud of me getting my Bachelor's.

Mandy Ellsworth · April 2009

I got grounded for anything less than a B+. I graduated with honors and was honor society VP. Anything less was unacceptable. Luckily school was easy for me so I could have a party life alongside academics.

starlight_24 · April 2009

Yes. My dad was dean of a well known university and my mom is a professor and associate dean at a university. My father died at a young age and my mom always tells me how happy she is that she had her master's and is always on me to start working toward mine. She said if God forbid something would happen to my DH, my bachelor's won't help me much in the job market. Truth be told I'd like a master's but DH is working on his now. When he finishes I plan on getting mine.

TimingisEverything · April 2009

My parent's were disappointed if I got bad grades but they were never pushy. They didn't care if we went to college or not...as long as we were happy.

TheFannins729 · April 2009

all five of us were expected to do something towards getting a scholarship to college. I did so through grades, my dad would have preferred sports. lol. My brother got one through Navy ROTC and my sister will be getting one for soccer. dont know about the other two yet, they are still in middle/elementary school.

Gramyson · April 2009

no, i meant i have casual sex with numerous partners...

i meant floundering:(.

EcoBaby · April 2009

Not really, but I always did well in school on my own. I was also smart enough to make up really good excuses when I did do bad - or smart enough to get home before my mom and get the mail when I knew some bad report was coming. I also had a brother and sister who didn't make the best grades, so they were just happy that I did. They never pushed me to be involved or anything once I was in high school. I actually think they didn't want me to move out of the state, and I live in a university town, so they were happy when I just barely made it with my grades/act scores to get into that school. Had I gotten scholarships or something, they wouldn't have been able to force me to stay near them.

Mrs.Bible · April 2009

I was pushed - but then again I liked school. I ended up going to school year round from 7th grade until I graduated from high school just from doing all my summer programs - MESA; DECA; Upward Bound, etc.

When I went off to college and as a freshman was classified as a 2nd semester sophomore because I had some many classes that I took in the summer time that counted towards college classes.

Oh and I also was a debutante with Jack and Jill of America; I was part of who's who in high school and in college; I ran track (indoors and outdoors) from when I was 5 through college; and I volunteered with my church!

Wow talk about pushed to be an overachiever!!!!

mrskadams · April 2009

My dad definitely pushed to the point of tears. I remember my first report card in high school. I came home with all A's except for one B. The first thing my dad said? "What's the B in?" Thanks for the praise dad.

LawLove08 · April 2009

Yes. ?My mom was awful. ?I would bring home a 95% on a test, and her response was "That's good, but why didn't you get a 100%?"

It pretty much f---ed me up for a long time, and it's why I'm a perfectionist. ?On the plus side, I always did well in school, and graduated first in my class from law school. ?I think it's ok to have high expectations for your kids, but they have to be realistic expectations (based on your own child's abilities) and you can't expect perfection (as my mom did)

JillStar · April 2009

My parents were not pushy at all. Although, I suspect people would think that they were. My brother and I both graduated at the top of our high school classes; graduated with honors from top 20 colleges (me an Ivy League); and have done very well academically in our graduate work. I know I may get flamed for putting that out there, but the truth is that I am very proud of both of us for accomplishing what we have.

My brother and I were both very self-driven. We knew our parents would love us regardless of how we did academcially. (In fact, I remember before my senior year of high school, my mom going in to see my guidance counselor to discuss my schedule because she was worried I was pushing myself too hard academically.) They were (and still are!) very, very proud of both me and my brother, but I know they would *not* have been dissappointed if we had not done as well as we did. Neither of my parents even went to college, so while they hoped we would have that chance, they never imagined we would have done as well as we did. They provided all of the love and support that got us there, but did not push us.

ETA: the *not*

Tarta · April 2009

My parents weren't so pushy about grades as long as I was passing with decent grades. They WERE pushy about making me go to college. I didn't want to go and they said "That's fine and your decision, but we insist that you go for one quarter before you are allowed to make that decision for yourself" It was the BEST thing they ever did for me. Seriously. I plan on implementing that with my kids too. Cuz really, I was just scared spitless of college and them forcing me to at least give it a try was all the push I needed to really fall in love with college and finish my degree.

Gee, thanks Mom and Dad!

AngieandTony · April 2009

Miss.Modular:
my parents were neither, and i did very well on my own. my dad went to an ivy league law school and even he never EVER once pushed me to be some superstar 4.0 having geek, or had expectations that I follow suit in what he did. i went to a super competitive school district, and i knew kids that had parents like nyc212..... one of which is an investment banker in nyc, and strung out on heroin by 25.

however my grandmother (my dad's mom) would always shake her head and say "I always thought YOU, of all my grandchildren, would go to law school" and cluck. heheh sorry gran!

when my parents were still married (til i was 12) he was very academically oriented. i think he had a complex because he was not from this country and so he pushed us all to do really well in school. we would have to come home from school and spend 30 minutes at least on our penmanship. then when my parents got divorced, he was not pushy anymore, mostly because he wasn't around (thats a whole other sob story). Anyways, my mom was always happy no matter what we did. if i got upset over a grade she would always remind me that the world was run by average students. in the end i definitely pushed myself hard and was always my own worst critic.

Geekchick921 · April 2009

Nah. I was an overachiever all by myself.

My mom did kind of bribe me once, though. If I got the Neumann Scholarship (full 4 years to any Philadelphia archdiocese Catholic high school), then I could go on this Student Ambassador trip to Australia the summer after I graduated grade school. Sho' nuff, I got it. So did my sister, 4 years later. My mom was probably like, "Dammit..." but in the long run, she spent a lot less on those 2 trips than she would have for 8 years of Catholic high school tuition.

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