Will I ever feel normal again?

SumnerBride · April 2009

I feel like since having DD2, I can't get my head above water. My house is a mess, my laundry is never done, and I never get any alone time. My DH tries to help out, but I'm sick of being a nag, and I'm tired of always having to ask him to do things that seem so obvious to me.

This will be my last baby, so I'm trying to be present and enjoy this time while she's little, but I'm kinda going crazy. Tell me there will come a time when I'll feel normal again and not so out of control.

stillhoping · April 2009

normal will change for you but yes you will feel normal again

emilykristene2006 · April 2009

It took about 5 months after I stopped BFing before I felt normal again. You'll get there. It's okay to be in survival mode until then. Try to do something for yourself, by yourself at least once a month.

A-baybride · April 2009

I don't know... I've felt like that since my one child was born!

Is there someone who can take the girls for a whole day so you can devote it to getting the house de-cluttered and caught up on laundry? Then it's just a matter of daily upkeep instead feeling so overwhelmed by huge projects.

Also, I know these suggestions take money, so they might not be realistic, but maybe a cleaning lady coming every week or every other week, or a babysitter once a week to give you both some alone time and time to keep up with cleaning?

I know I just can't get cleaning done with DD in the house unless she's asleep. If I'm sorting laundry, she's trying to "help," which is cute, but of course slows me way down. If I try to load/unload the dishwasher she's climbing on the open door, trying to grab knives... you get the idea. Everything takes at least 4 times as long as it should!

lsufan · April 2009

For me, things seemed so much better when Bennett was about 7 or 8 months old. ?That was also when I bought the double jogging stroller and started exercising regularly, so I don't know how much that had to do with it. ?Before that, I could never seem to catch up with everything that needed to be done, and I was getting angry-- at DH, myself, and the boys. ?I think I had mild PPD, and that the exercise really helped me to pull out of it. ?It was also when B started taking longer naps and having some sort of predictable schedule, so that may have helped.

Along with feeling better overall, my sex drive returned about that time, and by the time B was 9 months old, I was pregnant again. ?We'll definitely be using some form of birth control this time around. ?:)

Hope you feel better soon. ??

npeacock · April 2009

I think for me it's not a matter of feeling normal, but trying to understand what I am now. Since the birth of #2 (DD), I find myself not really knowing how I am supposed to be. My new year's resolution was to take more time for myself, and I have failed miserably. DH is trying his best to help. I think normal just needs to be redefined, and when you do that, you will feel much better.

*HUGS!*

Carolyn6e · April 2009

ugh, it's so much harder, right!? i'm hoping things will get easier once dd2 has more of a schedule... i know that's what happened w/ dd1... she's also more of a help now - she folds washcloths, matches socks, gathers her underwear out of the basket and puts her clothes away - of course it's slower than me doing it, but it's something. she also helps unload the dishwasher after i take out dangerous things - it allows me to get things done, of course slower, but it makes it a teeny bit better. i'd love an occassional housecleaner, but it's not happening yet, so some things just don't get done and i try not to worry about it.

Alliebella · April 2009

Sorry, I don't have an answer, but wanted to say I could have written this post! I feel the same way, and while it is wonderful being a mom of 2 so close in age, it is so tough at the same time. Here's to hoping for a sense of new found "normalcy" soon!

Your girls are beautiful, btw!

LizLovesJason · April 2009

I remember feeling the exact same way after my second was born. I distinctly remember wondering if I would ever feel that joy again that I had felt so often before as a mother. DS was an extremely fussy baby, and life was so crazy with a 2-year-old and a newborn for a while.

Things improved as DS became less fussy, and as he started sleeping better. Gradually I began to feel human again, and I even was able to find little moments of free time here and there. I remember all of us being a lot happier when he was around 6 months old. Then by the time he was a year old, things were MUCH better. He turned 2 years old a few months ago, and he's the most adorable, sweetest little boy ever! He takes great naps (usually--knock on wood!), goes to bed early, plays really well with DD most of the time, and can even amuse himself for short periods of time.

Even if your DD isn't as fussy as DS was, it takes a while to adjust to having 2. I would say life is still a lot more chaotic than it was with just one child...but I've adapted, and I love it now. Sure, I still have days I think I'll lose my mind, and my house is messier than it used to be, but there's also a lot more laughter, more hugs, and more fun! Things have calmed down considerably...so much so that we're taking the plunge and having a third!

Hang in there!

Hooray2005 · April 2009

I'm only a few weeks into this "mommy of two" gig, but I can soooo relate to everything you wrote! I honestly feel like I'm simply trying to survive my life (and actually it's felt that way even before #2 arrived, so it's not just the addition of a new baby) - ugh...

Sorry I have no words of wisdom, but you're definitely not alone one your feelings...

marrymemylove · April 2009

Belle4KP:
normal will change for you but yes you will feel normal again

Agree but would phrase it differently: you will feel normal again but it will be a delusion. Luckily you will be delusional so you won't know its a delusion.

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