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Baby Showers
WWYD? Cost of a Shower, amoung other things...
So my Sister, Mom, and MIL are all getting together to throw me a baby shower. I really wanted to have a jack and jill shower and would love to have it outside somewhere. Here's one problem... I live in White Plains NY. My parents and family live in CT (about an hour away), His family lives in Long Island (about an hour away) so where I live is technically meeting in the middle for both, but my mom thinks dragging our family to NY is to far for everyone. Anyway...
After chatting with my sister yesterday she suggested we have a picnic at my house and should rent a tent should it rain and have it catered because this will all be less expensive. DH doesn't like that idea because he thinks it is going to put to much pressure and work on us to prepare and cleanup, so he suggested a restaurant. My sister thinks a restaurant is to expensive. What do you think?
I don't think having it at my parents is a good option because it's to far from those peopel in NY and LI.
I am so confused. Help!
TIA!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WWYD? Cost of a Shower, amoung other things...
Honestly- there needs to be give on your and DH's end here. They are hosting the shower - their budget is what ultimately matters. More than your "vision" for the shower. If your DH isn't on board w/ it at your house, and a restaurant is too expensive- it may be time for you to adjust YOUR idea of your shower to something that they can manage at one of their homes, or in another location that isnt' a restaurant.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
while i understand how it may sound more appealing for it to be at a restaurant, if it's more cost effective to have it at your house, i'd go that route, despite having to clean up, etc. it's the least you could do since they are hosting it...plus i'm SURE they'll make it a point that you and YH relax, have fun and not do a lot of work like cleaning up, setting up, etc.
showers can range big time...at a restaurant, let's say $30 pp (conservatively), for 30 people, we're talking more than $1000 because of tax and gratuity. if it's a a house, just catering trays of food, that can run about $100 a tray depending on what you get. so it's definitely more cost effective. good luck and try not to worry about it...just have fun
But when you add in more people, want it to be more of party w/ a real meal, etc - it increases the cost across the board.
I don't want to sound judgey on this (esp to you directly, KD, this is really a generic attitude I have!) - but I really don't get why people feel they have to have fancy, "at restaurant" showers. Now- my baby shower was a brunch at a restaurant and I was SOOOOO concerened about it, but the hostesses all wanted to do it this way and they all assured me that they were perfectly comfortable w/ the cost.
But big picture- showers don't have to be fancy, don't have to be parties - esp if the person THROWING the shower can't afford it.
That's why I say what your SISTER wants and can afford to throw is ultiamtely the determining factor. If she can afford a restaurant but for only 20 people, then you need to invite only 20 people. If she can afford a catered party at your house for 50, then you all have to decide if you are willing to put up w/ the hassle.
But if she can't afford 50 people at a restaurant - then there simply has to be some give on your end.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I hear ya and don't think your being judgemental at all! I am the orginal person who wanted a BBQ in my back yard. I don't feel a restaurant is necessary either. Its DH who is being a pain in the arse. I just don't think he gets the fact our rehearsal dinner (this is what he is equating it too) and our baby shower should not cost the same. See I don't know enough about throwing a shower, costs etc so I haven't been able to point it out yet.
all i can add is that for any shower I've thrown, i always plan on setting up and cleaning up w/ the other hostesses (if there are others). Yes- it being at your home, you all may feel you need to help. But hopefully your sister and perhaps others will jump in and really do the lions share.
However, for what you're going to get in exchange for taking a little time to help out, is that really too much to ask? (Being the arguement to your DH, that is!)
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I totally agree with EastCoastBride. With the burden of cost on other peopel your DH should not be picky. Chances are that the hosts will help clean and stuff anyway!
Good luck and have fun!
ditto the others-
it should be within the hostesses' budgets and they will likely help w/ setup/decorating & cleanup no matter where it is I would think?
Another tip for cleanup if you decide to go the tent/outdoor route at your house, you can hire someone (even a teenager or college student) for pretty cheap to be constantly cleaning up- clearing up glasses & trash & recycling, running the dishwasher regularly, making sure everything is in order. the tent/table/chair setup ppl will set up that stuff & take it down. We did this type of event for my parents' 40th anniv and having the person do this was a huge help.
Ditto PPs, and here's how to sell it to DH:
Sure, we might have to pick up and clean up some, but at the same time, we won't have to pack up and move any of the gifts! (This can be a real issue if people get you high chairs and swings and other bulky items that might not fit easily into a car.)