I'm so upset with daycare!

queenie521 · April 2009

So 2 weeks ago I decided to do the drop-off for TJ because I wanted to talk with the caretakers at daycare about his feeding schedule. According to their daily notes, he had been eating a bottle approximately every 2 hours and I just cant pump that much and my MIL has no problem giving him the same amount of food every 3 hours. So when I talked to the caretaker she asked me "does he cry a lot at home?" I said, "No, not really." And she told me "Well he cries a lot here and we assume he is hungry so we give him a bottle and he sucks it down." I asked, "Well, do you try holding him because sometimes that is all he needs." She told me, "Yes, but it doesnt help." I explained how I was confused by this because my MIL didnt seem to have these problems and she told me that she would let him cry and just feed him every 3 hours and I said no, that I would rather them give him a bottle then make him scream. Well, after I had this discussion with them, I found on his daily papers that his feeding was back on schedule so I just assumed that they started holding him more or found something that worked. So fast forward to today. DH drops TJ off and mentions something about him having a rough night and how we are considering letting hiom cry it out once he turns 6 months and the woman tells him "Well, he cries a lot here." Of course DH starts questioning her (TJ is a VERY happy baby during the day for us and my MIL) and she againstarts telling him that she thinks TJ should be getting more food and he sucks down the bottle. But she also said that after she gives him the bottle and burps him, that he still cries.............she NEVER said this to me. DH asked her if they pick him up because, again, sometimes he just needs that. And she tells him, "I can't, there are too many babys." So he asked how long he cries for and she said "Sometimes an hour and a half." WHAT THE HELL?!?! (A) Why did she tell him something different than she told me 2 weeks ago and (B) Why do we need to ask questions in order to find this information out. We are his parents and if there are issues during the day I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!! I'm so upset. I was crying on my way into work after Tim called me. I am going to call and speak with the director when she gets in today but I just dont know what to do!! I dont want my son crying for hours on end every day he is in daycare (typically 2 times a week). I am just at such a loss.........

Faith1318 · April 2009

I'm so sorry, I would be really upset too. Good luck getting things straightened out...

tyswife306 · April 2009

Something sounds off to me too. I would not be happy knowing my baby was crying for an hour and a half. Keep us posted on what the director says.

~somdgirl~ · April 2009

I am sorry you are dealing with this. It seems at his age he should be able to go 3 hours. He just needs love and attention. So if they have to many kids like they say does every baby only get a little attention? I would look for a new place.

6fsn · April 2009

I wouldn't even try to work this out. The fact that they are letting him cry that much or the fact that they lied would be enough for me to search for a new daycare.

I would still talk to the director, but I wouldn't want my kid going back.

MandC17 · April 2009

Something doesn't sound right to me. Trust your instincts on this one. I hope you can figure out what the problem is.

Lucky_Dragonfly · April 2009

Sometimes they are just really retarded and I don't get it either. I felt really bad dropping him off today because I know that he had a rough night last night and he was still tired. I could hear him screaming down the hall. I soo wanted to run inthere and soothe him but if I did it then he wouldn't want to go back to the teacher.

peapine · April 2009

I kind of agree with the last poster. the fact that she was not upfront with you with information and the whole thing sounds shady- im not sure If I would even try to work this out with this particular daycare. What is something new happens in the future? I would want my child to be in a place where I feel I can trust them and they are upfront with information. Plus, letting him cry for that long would make me so damn angry. DD goes to daycare twice a week too and let me tell you - I have had several talk to them about stuff. I dont have a choice right now and its only twice a week, but I am looking for a new place. These are things you cant negotiate on.

MrsL1022 · April 2009

That is horrible! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I know you can't make rash decisions b/c you have to work but I would want to leave work and pull him out of there so fast! Can your MIL watch him the other 2 days while you look for somewhere new? I think you definitely need to have a serious talk with the director. Go with your gut something is NOT right.

jennessey · April 2009

I would be really pissed! Do they think that a baby crying for an hour and a half straight is NORMAL? I would understand if he were colicky or had reflux and was in pain, but you say he's normally happy and doesn't cry. I would be really upset with them - they are not telling you important information and it seems like they do not have enough employees.

I have also had feeding schedule issues with my DCP. DS eats WAY more at the sitter's house than he does with me or my mom (my mom watches him 2x a week). I think part of it is that it is easy for the sitter to soothe him with a bottle, I think the other part of it is that my mom can devote ALL of her time and energy to DS, while the sitter has a few kids to watch. I just send a little extra with DS to the sitter's and things are going okay. She would def let me know if he were that upset.

Do you have any other options for daycare in the area? I would start looking now, because it seems like your current situation is not working. Let us know how your talk with the director goes.

*Bre* · April 2009

Lucky_Dragonfly:
Sometimes they are just really retarded and I don't get it either. I felt really bad dropping him off today because I know that he had a rough night last night and he was still tired. I could hear him screaming down the hall. I soo wanted to run inthere and soothe him but if I did it then he wouldn't want to go back to the teacher.

Hmm

happytobemrs.m · April 2009

My mother has been in the daycare business for 23 years...I just told her your story and she said "take your baby and run as fast as can from that center."

smiling76 · April 2009

OMG---cries for over an hour??? I would be upset too. I swear we go to the same daycare!!! I have had major drama lately too and just am so upset about it.

Have you attempted to contact the director?? Perhaps speak with another teacher there that may have some insight? I know in our daycare they are supposed to not have more than 4 babies for 1 teacher--is that the case with your school?

queenie521 · April 2009

smiling76:
I know in our daycare they are supposed to not have more than 4 babies for 1 teacher--is that the case with your school?

I believe their ratio is 1:3

CagleBaby · April 2009

I a problem with my daycare letting my dd cry for over 45 mins because she wanted her to take a nap on her time. I was so upset when I found this out. My DD was only 4-5 months old. I pulled her and found another daycare. I love the place we are at now. Trust your mommy gut. Good luck.

BabyCakes3 · April 2009

6fsn:

I wouldn't even try to work this out. The fact that they are letting him cry that much or the fact that they lied would be enough for me to search for a new daycare.

I would still talk to the director, but I wouldn't want my kid going back.

Couldn't have said it any better. I would talk to the director but I would not take my DD back there. They should have told you the first time it happened & should have tried to figure out something that would help the situation. Maybe he's bored, cold, etc.

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I'm so upset with daycare!

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