Am I the only one who wants to be left ALONE after delivery?

cs1007 · April 2009

With the exception of my hubby of course...Why do visitors want to come in and visit immediately?? I understand that everyone is excited, but I feel like I am not going to want to see ANYONE after such a long and tiring experience (especially my ILs!)..but I feel like I HAVE to or people will think I am a jerk. Can't people wait a day? I kind of feel like sometimes people don't consider how tired the new mom is...Why is it assumed that everyone is going to be waiting out in the L&D room and that they get to come in right away. It kind of bugs me/gives me anxiety!

Does anyone else feel this way?

Hi725 · April 2009

I totally agree with you. I love the fact that everyone wants to see the baby, but I wish they would give a little more consideration to how exhausted/in pain I might be after the birth.

beth thacker · April 2009

Yes I do. We're not calling anyone until after the baby is here and i'm ready for visitors. Our parents of course will know when we go to the hospital but i'm telling them that I don't want visitors and i'll also let the hospital staff know and they won't allow anyone there if I don't want them.

Glisse · April 2009

I don't feel that way but I don't blame you either.

I bet the nurses will run interference for you if you ask them to.

imtwo_feet · April 2009

I am right there with you! I've already told my family and friends that we will call and let them now when we are ready for visitors!

swtem11 · April 2009

I'm right there with you! No one understands why I just want it to be DH and me. My IL have already made a big stink that we don't want them there immediately afterward. It's not like the baby is going to jump up and run around right after he's born. He'll still be the same in a couple days. Seems like the only people who understand me our my mom and husband. If I'm the one pushing out the baby, I should have it my way.

jesshenson87 · April 2009

DH and I feel this way exactly. We've decided to keep everyone updated through calls/texts, but no one is invited to come to the hospital until atleast several hours later (possibly the next day). We want that time to bond and be a new family, just us, without everyone coming in and passing baby around.

Aprilynn0206 · April 2009

my hospital wheels us into a private room to be alone for an hour afterwards.. then its up to us when we want to allow people in..

Leadiabetic_R_Star7 · April 2009

I definatley feel that way about my IL's but I want my parents there (in the waiting room until after I deliver) they are not overbearing and if I am tired, they will know to leave me alone. I dont even think we are telling DHs parents until after the birth happens and they can come the next day.

RubyRed1085 · April 2009

This is exactly why I'm HOPING to go into labor at say... 2:30am on a Monday. That way people will be asleep and have to work, and I will get time to rest... hopefully anyway.

HisLovf · April 2009

You're not the only one. If I could, I would only have DH there with me, but I know my mother would throw a HUGE fit if we don't call her the second we're on our way to the hospital. She's already agreed to staying out of the room come pushing time (whew), but honestly, I would rather not have any visitors in the building while I'm laboring and for a while after baby gets here.

hero · April 2009

We really want to have a week or so for Dh and I to bond with the baby. My parents have already said that they will wait a week or two before they visit. My BIL is getting married on my due date so my IL's will be pretty occupied and won't be able to visit for a bit. A conflict/disturbance free birth is working out well so far as long as the baby comes before or on his due date.

ChelleM · April 2009

No, you're not the only one.

Not only do I want time to rest after labor, but I want my H and I to have plenty of time to bond with the baby as a new family before anyone encroaches on our time. We've already told our family that they are not to wait in the wating room while I'm in labor and that we want 3-4 hours alone after she's born. We'll call them only when we're reedy for visitors.

If you feel this way, you HAVE to communicate this to your family. No beating around the bush. Tell them straight out what YOUR expectations are. It's not about them - this is your baby - you get what YOU want first, then they get their say.

peachypear · April 2009

Glisse:
I don't feel that way but I don't blame you either.

I bet the nurses will run interference for you if you ask them to.

Ditto.

And FYI, my cousin didn't let ANYone (aside from her H) see her until she had showered, done her hair, and put on her make up. No one was at all bothered by her request - not even her parents, who were waiting in the wait room.

schmapril · April 2009

We get at least an hour of uninterrupted baby and mom (and dad) time after the baby is born and can extend that if we want. Our hospital is VERY ok with telling the family that they need to wait until we are ready for visitors. That way we can relax with baby, recoup a little bit and have a chance to bond before the craziness of family.

choltbaby · April 2009

I think we are just going to let immediate family know when we go in and call more distant family and friends later. I want to spend some time alone with my new family. Our hospital ensure that we get at least one hour to ourselves after the birth and then we can choose to invite peoplt in to see the baby for SHORT visits.

sju · April 2009

I don't mind my parents to be present after the baby is born but your feelings are understandable. You will also have nurses checking on you often.

You may want to check with your hospital. Mine lets you have a "secret code" if you prefer. Security will always call the room before allowing anyone in the building but also, they will not let anyone in unless they know that code.

love22 · April 2009

This has crossed my mind too but from everyone I have talked to you are on such a high it doesn't matter who is around. Labor is nice to you that way because it gives you hormones that make you all happy and high.

iris427 · April 2009

I think grandparents should be able to see the new baby the first day, but anyone who is not immediate family should wait a day or two at least.

You're the one giving birth, so it's your decision. But I think barring the ILs from seeing your baby that day could cause some long-term problems--it's worth having to see them for half an hour to prevent major drama, IMO.

mollymurphy · April 2009

I totally get this. I don't know how I'll be feeling afterward, but it's sort of a non-issue for us b/c 1) we're really, really far away from family, so they won't be flying in 'til later and 2) our hospital doesn't move you to post-partum until at least 2 hours after delivery, so you're guaranteed no visitors until then. It's unfortunate, but in my experience, it's been pretty eye-opening that for things regarding the baby, some of our family (esp. my ILs) have been inconsiderate. Case in point: the ILs originally scheduled my 'shower' for 1:00 PM their time on a Sunday afternoon. (The idea was we would watch on webcam...also not my idea.) The killer part, though, is that 1:00 PM their time is 8:00 PM our time. On a Sunday night. And I work full time. Who schedules a shower for 8:00 PM on a Sunday night? I actually had to point out for them that I probably wouldn't last long at that time of night. So, I'm glad we're not having to deal w/any other issues b/c I now realize that what DH and I need rest-wise/health wise=not at the top of the ILs list of priorities.?

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emaria · April 2009

i'd feel this way if the inlaws were in the waiting room but they live farther away. ?it will only be my parents and grandmother and they've seen me at my worst and know how to comfort me so it will be welcoming to see them right away. ?but i understand how you feel and maybe the nurses could help out in that situation?

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rebus82 · April 2009

I told DH that I don't want any visitors until I am showered, fed, my baby fed, rested, and the three of us have bonded as a family. I am pretty sure that means everyone will be waiting for at least a few hours before they see us.?

Mrs_mam · April 2009

I don't want anyone there before, during or after. Just having our families sitting in a waiting area all waiting makes me stress out. We have 4 sets of parents between the two of us. We are sticking fast to our "at least one hour" of alone time (the 3 of us) after the birth before we let anyone in.

Bklynnj0118 · April 2009

I am so glad I am not alone on this. I am having a c-section and am really concerned about afterwards. I found out that some Aunts and Uncles were coming that day. MH and I spoke about and decided to ask only immediate family for the first day - parents and grandparents. Well there is a huge war right now with my MIL who thinks its not right. I am so upset right. I am going to have a cathether still, won't be able to get out of bed, and am going to be so out of it. I will be in the hospital four days and we can't understand why everyone wants to come that day. We know they are excited but we want to have a little time to ourselves and I want am scared shitless of the whole c-section aspect to begin with. It is such a mess right now and I just want to cry.

cs1007 · April 2009

Thank goodness for all of you ladies...so nice to have women to relate to!

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Am I the only one who wants to be left ALONE after delivery?

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