Mom in the delivery room (help)

bchlvnmom09 · April 2009

I thought I was home free, we had decided that it would be just me and DH in the delivery room, and it wasnt hard to decide since my mom didnt want to be in there. She texted me first thing this morning and asked if she could be there with me. I have no idea what to say, I mean I wouldnt hate for her to be in there, but we kind of already figured it was just going to be the two of us. Also, we werent planning on calling anyone until Olivia is born, with the exception of our bosses to let them know. She texted me again and is begging me to call her anytime I have a contraction so she can be prepared! I dont know what to do...WWYD?

Lil Mita · April 2009

I would have her join you! I know I would want my mom there and it would really stink if she wasn't there and you later regret that she missed the whole thing.

mistresscox · April 2009

Um, tell her no?

Just explain that it is a decision that you and your DH have made together and that's that. You can sugar coat as needed for your mom. If you are thinking you want her there just make sure you talk to your DH about it first-it should be a joint decision.

Mrs D~S · April 2009

I felt the same way you did... and when I was in labor.. all I wanted was my mother in the room. After talking to my husband for awhile we decided to just let her wait outside, but I was so opposed to having my mom at first.... just a thought. I dont understand why people dont want their parents/mom/dad to know when they go in to labor. My in-laws and parents waited outside in the maternity waiting area for HOURS (on their own accord) and I didnt even know they were there.

idoinjuly · April 2009

If you don't want her in there, just tell her that it's important to you and dh that it just be the two of you. This isn't a time to make a concession like this just to avoid hurt feelings. My mom wanted to come stay with us for the last part of my pregnancy then for a few weeks after. I told her that dh and I just wanted the first week or two to enjoy our new little family.

kiki-W · April 2009

just say no to her.

you are going to have to speak up for your child and tell people no regarding things you don't want for and around your child.

just tell her no, it will be just DH and you and you will call her when you want visitors.

i don't get why people want parents in the room.

MattresMuffin69 · April 2009

Tell her no if you don't want her there.

ladymeg · April 2009

I agree, just tell her you and your dh have already planned for it to be just you two.

ashmariebay02 · April 2009

I'd at least have her on stand by....after like 18 hours of labor I wanted to KILL my DH and was relieved to have my mom there!

katypresson · April 2009

I would just tell her that you want it to be a special time for just you and DH alone....its a personal choice and you shouldn't be forced to have her in there just b/c she wants to. I could see my mom doing something like that, she is soo pushy! But I would just tell her no.

onelove13 · April 2009

ladymeg:
I agree, just tell her you and your dh have already planned for it to be just you two.

Agree! Its a special time for you and DH! I know that she is excited too but if you want it just the two of you then she needs to understand

Jami lynn · April 2009

Your mom wants to be a part of her grandchild being born, let her.... I dont understand why people make such a big deal about this. My brother just had my Mom's first grandchild and my mom cried her eyes out when my Brother and his GF asked her to be in the room. Grandma's love that ***.... they love their grandkids.... why deprive them of it? AT LEAST let her know you're going in labor...........GEESH.

kimber1211 · April 2009

I think it's totally a decision between you and your DH. In my case, I know my mom would be great in the delivery room (she has a medical background) but DH and I decided that we really want it to just be us with our first baby. Mom will be waiting right outside though. Maybe for the second one I would invite her in. In your case, I would talk to your DH about it and see what you are both comfortable with.

RubyRed1085 · April 2009

My mom keeps saying how she should be in there, and that I will want her in there, but I told her... "If you weren't in the room when the baby went into my vag, then you won't be in there when he comes out." Seems to be working for now, but we will still call them when I go into labor, along with the IL's. If they want to sit there forever, then so be it.

Jamie Sonnenleiter · April 2009

Speak to DH and let him know whats going on with your mom's transition in decision. Then you and DH need to decide if letting your mom in the delivery room is something that you want. If you decide that you want to stick to your orginal plan of the 2 of you.... then so be it. Tell your mom, that although you love her thought and anthusiam in being there that the delivery room is for just you and H and that you will still call her when it's time, and she may sit in the waiting room and be the first to be able to see lil Olivia.

kcampy31 · April 2009

I would just tell my mom that my DH and i talked about it and we would like it to just be the two of us, but if you don't have that type of relationship with your mom and maybe can't tell her stragiht out you could always tell her that you don't care to have your mother in law in there and then if you had her it wouldn't be fair. But try just telling her it's important to the two of you to have this moment be between the two of you. ( you and your DH) I would think she would understand.

ASUsundevil97 · April 2009

Just tell her no. ?My mom was really disappointed, too, but oh well.

MBNB · April 2009

That's an easy answer for me! ?I would call my mom pronto and have her involved. I've already asked her to be in the delivery room and want her to be around as much as possible.?

Sounds like your mom wants to be there for you, so why the hesitation? Don't forget, you're HER baby so this is a very big deal for her.?

?

IU_baby · April 2009

If you don't want her there, tell her no.

If you don't mind having her in the room, you can compromise and tell her that it's okay for her to be in the room with you while you're laboring but not while you push the baby out.

rebus82 · April 2009

If you don't want her in there, tell her that. Use whatever reason you want, it's your decision. Personally, I would rip my hair out if my mother or MIL was in the room with me, they would drive me fvcking insane. I'm the one pushing the kid out my vagina, only my feelings are up for consideration during that time. Everyone else can get over themselves.?

I plan to let my parents know when I go in labor because they live 8 hours away, but I don't want DH to tell his local family until the baby is born. If DH called to let them know I was at the hospital, his phone would be ringing every two minutes the rest of the day. Or they'd show up and want to see me, which I do not want. It's much easier to just let them find out once it's all over and they can come visit.?

HisLobster · April 2009

I would just talk to your DH and decide if you just want it to be the two of you. If so, then just tell your mother that you appreciate how excited she is, but you want it to be the two of you. I had to tell my mother and MIL no. They survived.

dimake · April 2009

When my mom brought it up for my firstborn, I actually asked her if she was kidding.

It's OK to say no... you want this to be a special experience for DH, you and your baby to bond as a family. Or you can be funny and say only the people who made the baby get to be there when the baby is born.

I don't get why people who are not the infant's parents even ask to be included - if your presence is wanted, someone will ask you.

I haven't regretted the decision yet - we did tell my mom when we were being induced and they called occasionally for updates, but didn't come to see DD until the next morning (DD was born at 9:15 at night). It was so nice to have that time to ourselves before the baby parade started. MIL wanted to wait at the hospital, so we just told her after DD was born (she ended up doing this with BIL's GF and kept coming into the room). Also, since towards the end of my pregnancy and for the first few months of my daughter's life my OWN mom treated me like I was just the uterus that carried HER BABY (rather than me being her baby), I was very happy to have some time without her.

Aprilynn0206 · April 2009

If you don't want her there.. tell her no. For DH and I.. this is something new and exciting for us and we want to experience it alone. Maybe for baby #2 you can offer her to be there if you want?

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