Community› The Bump Message Boards› Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New Discussion

Tell me I'm horrible for feeling this way...

Norrisbaby09Norrisbaby09
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I've never written on a board, but I'm finding that I really need support or an outlet on this one.  I had a miscarriage the week of March 16th. This was our first and a planned pregnancy.  Hubby and I were so freakin excited after 6 months of trying!  We've been doing really good with coping...better then I thought actually and were gonna start trying again as soon as possible.  My sister came over to my place the other night and told me that she is pregnant.  She is 26, has been with her bf for six years, they weren't trying, and she is soooooo scared.  She said that she had to tell me first because she knows how hard this news will be for me.  She was right. We cried and cried and she told me over and over how sorry she was and that she wants it to be me instead of her.  We went over all the positives that could come out of her having a baby and how we could even be pregnant together at some point soon. It will all be fine.   Here it is.... I'm sooooooo jeolous, and angry (not at her), and depressed I cant stand it!! But I'm also more excited and happy for her then she is for herself.  Please help me through this...

Report Reply to Post

Re: Tell me I'm horrible for feeling this way...

  • Jaime HecksherJaime Hecksher

    You are not horrible.  What you are feeling is perfectly normal!  It sounds too that your sister is just really scared right now and so lucky to have you to support her.  Since this was unplanned it may take her a bit to be so excited.  You are excited for her because you had planned on having a child and were ready for all of the work and excessive amounts of joy that come with it.  I am sure she will be there soon.

    This is a great place to vent  and talk things through.  Good luck.  I hope your sister's pregnancy goes well and that you have a BFP when you are ready!

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • vml14vml14

    Everything you are feeling is completely normal!  My SIL and I were due 10 days apart, and it was really hard to be around her for a while.  I also still have trouble being around their baby, who is the same age mine should be.  Between our loss and getting pregnant again, I had 6 friends tell me they were pregnant, and each time it was hard.  I just try to remember that it's not their baby I want, I want my own.  Hang in there, and be sure to let your sister know how you want her to handle telling you about milestones in the pregnancy.  I was so very thankful that my SIL and other friends just knew that I didn't want to hear about how great everything was.... I asked when I wanted an update, and I didn't ever get them other than when I asked.  It helped me a lot to keep everything on my terms.

    Hugs to you.  This is not an easy road to travel, but you'll get through it. 

    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • xleslieraexxleslieraex member
    imageBionicBride:

    You are not horrible.  What you are feeling is perfectly normal!  It sounds too that your sister is just really scared right now and so lucky to have you to support her.  Since this was unplanned it may take her a bit to be so excited.  You are excited for her because you had planned on having a child and were ready for all of the work and excessive amounts of joy that come with it.  I am sure she will be there soon.

    This is a great place to vent  and talk things through.  Good luck.  I hope your sister's pregnancy goes well and that you have a BFP when you are ready!

    I couldn't have said it better myself. You are not horrible. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you do get to experience the joy of being pregnant with your sister. ::big hugs::

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Alexandra*sMomAlexandra*sMom member
    You are not horrible.  I remember those feeling then I found out that SIL was PG.  They got PG 1st try with both their kids.  It took 8 mo for DD1.
    Report Reply
  • 4thofJulyWedding4thofJulyWedding member
    You're not horrible at all. I am surrounded by people who are pregnant. My sister-in-law and I were pregnant together and it's still hard to see her getting farther and farther along. You feel happy for your sister, but sad for your loss. It's completely normal to feel this way.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • mrsc720mrsc720
    You are definitely not alone here. After my mc I went through a stage where everything, and I mean everything, related to babies or anything related made me sad, angry, or jealous. I cried every time I saw a commercial for baby stuff, kids toys, even tampons. I cried every time I saw a warning label for pregnant women. I was also INSANELY jealous and even angry at pregnant women. My SIL got pg that July and I was jealous and angry in general. I cried. It will get better. I'm glad you have a sister who can understand your viewpoint. I hope your sister can cope with her pregnancy. I know it will be hard on both of you. Be strong and keep writing it will help.
    Report Reply
  • Norrisbaby09Norrisbaby09
    Thank you everyone for replying to my post.  I'm feeling a lot better today then I was a few days ago.  I'm still emotional about it of course but I'm looking forward to sharing my sisters pregnancy.. along with my own sometime soon hopefully. Aunt Flo arrived today for the first time since my miscarriage!! Yea! Lol.  Thank you all again!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"