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Some sad news last night and I need your opinions

Heather1979Heather1979 member
in 1st Trimester

Last night we were at DH's mother's family's seder and we got a call that DH's aunt (on his father's side) is coming home from the hospital.

She has battled cancer for the past year and there is nothing more the doctors can do for her. It sounds like they've given up too, so she's coming home to spend time with her family. She is 64. It's going to be a rough night tonight, as we're going over to this side of the family tonight for a seder.

DH's parents are upset, but they insist that we tell the family about our little one, saying that the family will need the positive news. I'm not sure, is that like stepping on a boundary or do you think DH's parents are right?

DH thinks we should bring the ultrasound photos (in an album) and hand them to his aunt and ask her to look at our new photos.

What does everyone here think? I'm undecided at this point.

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Re: Some sad news last night and I need your opinions

  • cleigh11cleigh11 member

    I agree with your family.  I think that in light of all of the sad news, your aunt could use some uplifting news and knowing that you guys are having a baby might be just the trick!

    I know it's a difficult time, but try to stay positive Smile .

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  • 30&TTC#130&TTC#1
    that's a really tough decision...I'm sorry they're putting that kind of pressure on you. On one hand, showing them pics, etc. will take their minds off things and help cheer them up a little, but on the other hand, it's not going to make her cancer go away. Do you feel comfortable with telling them at this stage? If so, go for it. If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it and don't let them try to guilt-trip you into making you do it. This is going to be difficult for your family to deal with whether or not you tell them tonight in my honest opinion. It's something that they are going to have to learn how to deal with. Sorry to hear about your DH's aunt, my T&P are with you and his family. GL
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  • MrsGibson07MrsGibson07
    I am sure his aunt wants to be around some joy too. Besides, do you know how much longer she has? She would probably like to know that you guys are expecting. If DH's dad says he feels it would be good, I would trust that. It is his family after all and he knows them best. Ultimately though, its up to you and your DH. No one can tell you what to do.
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  • officerswife31officerswife31
    First, I am sorry about your Aunt and I'm sorry you were put in this situation.  It might bring her some joy to tell her about the pregnancy.  It is up to you and dh to decide if you want to tell her.
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  • MrsDCruzMrsDCruz member

    My family had the same sort of thing happen, my aunt was only 41 though. My sister found out she was pregnant and my aunt was dying of breast cancer, we had a large family reunion each year and my family wanted my sister to announce that she was pregant. My sister was about 10 weeks so she was ready to let everyone know anyhow but was weary about breaking the news when my family... She finally broke down and told the family, my aunt could not have been more overjoyed. We all ended up crying and hugging... Its one of those moments in life I will never forgot.

    ?

    BFP #1 4/2/09 EDD 12/6/09 -MC 4/12/09 BFP #2 6/2/09 EDD 2/14/10 -Ectopic in Tube, Surgery 6/23/09 BFP #3 10/15/09 EDD 6/27/10 -Daniel John 6/21/10 BFP #4 Oct 2010 Chemical Pregnancy BFP #5 8/19/11 Beta #1 82.8 Prog 17.25
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  • Knottie1463608191Knottie1463608191 member

    DH's anut will be thrilled, I am sure! My g-mother and mother have both battled breast cancer. My grandmother was in the throes of chemo and feeling crappy when I told her I was and she was ecstatic. My mom is still going through chemo and I told her as soon as I found out this time. I say tell her and give her a ray of happiness. JMO! Good luck!

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  • IndysgirlIndysgirl member
    First of all I am so sorry for your aunt and my prayers are with your family.  My mom is battling breast cancer that has spread to her liver and the news about my pregnancy has given her renewed energy! She's the only one we've told because I knew it would lift her spirits. I think when things are bad some good news gives everyone something to hold onto. 
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  • SaranSaran member
    I'm so sorry your family has to go thru this. I found out I was having twins 2 weeks before my grampa died. I wish I would have had the opportunity to tell him about his first 2 granddaughters but he died unexpectedly. DH & chose to tell my family the day after the funeral and it was the best decision we ever made. My parents were so struck with grief and to see their faces light up the way they did was priceless. Even today, when we think of grandpa and that sad time, we always end with joy, that we found out about our girls! I think it's a great idea and at least you know that if God forbid something happen with the baby, your family would be there to rally around you with love like they are doing with your aunt. God Bless
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