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MIL being unvited by hostess ? long

thairathaira
in Baby Showers

FIRST) I dont know my mom, dont get along with step mom, and I have no sisters...which leaves friends to throw a shower.  I have one with a lot of opinions that wants to only help, not throw it, and the other getting married soon who wants to throw it.

SECOND) My Inlaws just got divorced and of course MIL is her own kind of crazy...however...I love love love FIL's sister and she wants to throw one.

Ok so I think this is kind of shaping up...I requested an open house to keep the strain off of everyone financially, thinking anyone who wanted to help could bring a dish or two...Including a couple friends, DH's aunt, my step mom and MIL.

THE PROBLEM, today Dh's Aunt let me know she really prefer MIL and her family didnt attend her shower...(MIL cheated of FIL resulting in divorce) So I understand where she's coming from, but now I will have to tell MIL she wont be invited to the open house. Her side of the family consists of only 4 women who I see once a year...GREAT! 

How will that conversation go...MIL says let me know about your shower, and I will say what?

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Re: MIL being unvited by hostess ? long

  • jlynnr87jlynnr87
    I feel like whoever is technically hosting it is responsible for things like that. It shouldn't be put on you to tell your MIL she can't come to the shower. I understand why the aunt wouldn't want her there, but I still don't think it's you're responsibility. I'm sorry - that's awful!
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  • tuxcattuxcat

    nope nope nope! i say it's the hostess' job to invite people... and when MIL asks about your shower, just say that you had one at work, and one with your FIL's side. She should know what's up there, from the sounds of it.

    and if she wants to, she should throw you a shower for her side!

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  • ChiOmegaGirlChiOmegaGirl member
    imagetuxcat:

    nope nope nope! i say it's the hostess' job to invite people... and when MIL asks about your shower, just say that you had one at work, and one with your FIL's side. She should know what's up there, from the sounds of it.

    and if she wants to, she should throw you a shower for her side!

    My thoughts exactly.

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  • MrandMrsAndrewsMrandMrsAndrews member
    imageChiOmegaGirl:
    imagetuxcat:

    nope nope nope! i say it's the hostess' job to invite people... and when MIL asks about your shower, just say that you had one at work, and one with your FIL's side. She should know what's up there, from the sounds of it.

    and if she wants to, she should throw you a shower for her side!

    My thoughts exactly.

    ?

    Also my thoughts!?

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  • userdeleteduserdeleted member

    How does your DH feel about this? Unless your MIL is completely psychotic I do not think it's ok to exclude her. If I were in this situation I would thank DH's aunt profusely for offering to throw the shower, but would have to decline as she would not be able to accommodate the family situation.

    It is sad that your MIL and FIL are having such a nasty divorce, but your DH's aunt needs to either suck it up and be an adult, or not offer to throw this kind of party. If you agree to this party without your MIL you could cause some huge family drama...are you ok with that?

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  • At1stsightAt1stsight
    imageMrandMrsAndrews:
    imageChiOmegaGirl:
    imagetuxcat:

    nope nope nope! i say it's the hostess' job to invite people... and when MIL asks about your shower, just say that you had one at work, and one with your FIL's side. She should know what's up there, from the sounds of it.

    and if she wants to, she should throw you a shower for her side!

    My thoughts exactly.

     

    Also my thoughts! 

    Yes  Sorry you have so much family drama :-(

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  • EdithREdithR
    What everyone else said.  The hostess should tell her.
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  • DiscusCoachDiscusCoach

    To ease the situation would it be possible to suggest that MIL and the women on that side of the family go to tea or try and plan some sort of event other than that "open house"?

    I know that is tacky but I am trying to look for the lesser of several evils here.

    I am sorry you have to deal with this. We have the exact same situation going on in my family except with an uncle and aunt. The uncle cheated. The aunt is a loony. What to do? They are family.

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  • allowryallowry
    I would make the aunt tell her she isn't allowed to come.  That shouldn't be your problem, you don't need that stress.
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  • nuestra _bodanuestra _boda member

    imagejlynnr87:
    I feel like whoever is technically hosting it is responsible for things like that. It shouldn't be put on you to tell your MIL she can't come to the shower. I understand why the aunt wouldn't want her there, but I still don't think it's you're responsibility. I'm sorry - that's awful!

    Without a doubt this!!!

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