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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
I had a mini breakdown last night :(
So DS is in this 2 week fussy stage where he only wants (or should I say "will") to sleep on my chest. I have tried everything under the sun and moon to get him to sleep anywhere but on me and it always ends up with DS screaming and me frustrated to no end.
I've been doing this elimination diet since Tuesday so I can get his poo's back to normal and DS has decided to pick up a night time feeding....so I'm literally getting no more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. Those 3 hours are not good sleep either because he sleeps on my chest in bed and I don't sleep the very best because I don't want to drop him or roll over in my sleep.
I feel like a slave to my son and feel awful for feeling that way. I just need a break....but feel guilty for needing a break. It's not like he can survive without me....I signed up for this so I should just STFU and deal with it.
Last night I was determined to get him to sleep on his changing pad in-between me and DH so as soon as I saw some sleepy cues...I swaddled and tried to get him to fall sleep. I tried for an hour before he was screaming and I gave in and put him on my chest...and within 2 minutes, guess who was asleep? Ugh! I ended up sobbing and he ended up sleeping. Nice trade off, huh?
So I spent about the next half hour crying - and feeling sorry for myself which is completely NMS....I hate that trait in other people and it pisses me off when I do it. I just sat there and thought about how much my life has changed and how much I am doing to take care of DS and I don't get anything in return. DH tells me to go out with the girls or go shopping and get away - but everytime I do...I check in and DS is crying in the background and DH is horrible at getting him to settle down. So I feel guilty when I leave because I know how it ends up. It's my job to take care of DS and I can't get past him crying while I'm gone. I feel like such a bad mother when that happens.
How did you ladies whose LO's are further along get through this 2 week fussy period? I'm at my wits end. I'm sleep deprived and frustrated.
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Re: I had a mini breakdown last night :(
Swaddling, my hair dryer (really has worked great for us!), bouncing/shushing...basically HBOTB techniques.
Will he take a paci? That might help calm him down too.
I could have written this post a few months ago. I ended up be very very bitter and angy at DH because I felt like I had to do it all, and because I never got any sleep. I ended up having a breakdown, and finally talked to DH He MADE me get out of the house, and would take care of DS early in the morning and let me sleep till noon ( with a pumped bottle) and It helped so much. You cant do it all. You need help and sleep.
Oh cassafrass! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Just take it day by day. That's all you can do. Just know that you aren't alone. I cried a lot during A's fussy period. Try to get into survival mode and just do whatever works. And if nothing works, just keep trying because it WILL pass. Hang in there kiddo! We're here for ya
LUB YOU!!!
HOW'S THAT FOR PUPPIES AND RAINBOWS BETCHES!!
I was having this problem with Caroline and suddenly she just quit doing it. I swear it was like magic. I never thought it would end and then one day she just decided she was going to take daytime naps in her cradle and sleep all night in there too. I am not saying this to make you feel bad... I'm saying it to give you hope because it seemed to me that she just grew out of it or something... finished that fussy stage and was done with it! (I'm sure there will be others but hey, we'll deal with that when it comes, right?)
I know that doesn't help much right now because it is sooo frustrating when you are in the middle of it and you feel like it will never be over, but I promise it will get better. Maybe you should go somewhere and just not check in while you're out? I know you say it makes you feel like a bad mom but you have to take care of your own sanity in order to be a good mom, you know?
GL, I know how incredibly frustrating it is
I remember this stage and I wish I had some wonderful insight to give you. My situation was almost the same, except I would fall asleep on the couch with DD on my chest, cause even the movement of getting up to go to my bed would wake her up and she would scream for an hour. I know every child is different, so this might not work for you.. but I ended up calling the Pedi cause I was so frustrated. After hearing all the things I was saying, she said it sounded like it might be reflux and that laying DD on her back to sleep might be causing her discomfort. She suggested having her sleep sitting up in her carseat/swing/bouncer. We started on Zantac and also started putting her to bed in her bouncer. It worked!
If that is not the case with your LO, then all I can say is hang in there and I'm so sorry that you are getting so frustrated. I know exactly how you feel about leaving and hearing LO cry in the background when you check in. I'd say, "just don't call", but I know that's impossible as a mom.
*hugs*
Love it!
You are now on the "nice" list...where you're suppost to be! LOL
Yup - did this too. He almost always has a paci. Did the shushing and swaying on his side and he was calm...but as soon as I stopped - he started back up being fussy. This kid is anti-anything-but-mom lately!
I know exactly what you're going through & it does get easier.
First of all, what your feeling is totally normal -- it IS totally overwhelming and you DO need to get a break sometimes. Even just running out for a few minutes each day while DH watches your little one (even if it's just to grab a treat at Starbucks) can make a HUGE difference. Taking that time for you is important -- don't feel bad or guilty about it.
I'm the same way when DH watches DS... I check in all the time & I get frantic when he's crying. It took me a bit, but I finally realized that DS is his son too, and he's perfectly capable of caring for him & I need to trust him to do that. Your hubby & your son will get things worked out.
My little guy will only nap when I hold him too --- so I do... and he sleeps in bed with me most of the night. When he's napping, I can usually sneak him into a carrier and have both hands free & get some things done. Other than that, I just try to enjoy this time right now where mom has the magic touch & he always wants to be hugged & snuggled. I know a day is coming down the road when he'll think mom is totally not cool & I'll miss these days.
But it really does get easier-- for all of you!
DH is "afraid" to do this as DH is a pretty heavy sleeper in general and is terrified of dropping DS or rolling over with him. I can understand so I can't get mad....but it's frustrating as hell when you look over and see your DH snoring away while you're up once.again. to feed. Ugh! I'll live though...hopefully I only have another week of this. They say it gets better at 8 weeks. XXXX fingers!
You should have been at my house last night! I had the same meltdown! And I haven't had as long to work up to it as you have! DD has been the same way - only wants to sleep on me, won't take a paci from me, only the boob, etc. DH accused me of "spoiling her". (Yeah, at 2 weeks!)
THen last night, she slept swaddled in her pack n play all night. I didn't get much more sleep, because I laid there waiting to hear her fuss, but she did great! Who knows what tonight will bring!