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Infertility
So far we've done:
Clomid Challenge/HSG/SA
1 Unmedicated IUI
2 Clomid IUIs
2 Femara IUIs
1 injectable IUI
-2nd Femara IUI resulted in a CP (Beta was 16)
-Another CP in May. (Beta 19 Prog 13)
-Ectopic Pg - (Beta 27, 67, 430, 850) - methotrexate shot & biopsy
-Forced 3 month Break
1/4/10 - Uterine septum removed by Hysteroscopy
1/18/10 - Told I have inflammation in uterus. 6 weeks of antibiotics.
2/27/10 - Another confirmed ectopic. 2 shots of methotrexate after an ER visit.
Currently doing acupuncture and trying to lose weight.
TTC since 3/07 -
It's so late and I can't sleep
in Infertility
I keep thinking about how sad I am for smilee and the other terrible news that was on this board today. ?When you Girls get BFPs it gives me hope. ?I get so excited that fertility treatments may actually work. ?
We always say IF is so unfair. ?I don't think anyone knows what a dark lonely place it really is. ?It's like losing all control. ?It's losing the happy, positive person you were BIF (Before IF). ?It's putting on a fake smile and pretending to be the person you know you aren't anymore. ?It's gaining weight and knowing it's depression and IF treatments. ?It's month after month of AF. It's letting people down. It's not knowing if you are really depressed or if the medications are making you nuts.
It's feeling like something is missing and you just don't know "if" or "when" you will ever be able to have it. ?It's about feeling hopeful one minute and rock bottom depressed the next. ?I seriously feel manic going through this. ?It's like I've been in Limbo for years.
?I don't believe my RE anymore and I don't believe in acupuncture (but I'm doing it anyway), ?I've got to find a way to get out of Limbo, to lose weight, to get myself back (even if I can't get pregnant) and live life. ?
Until I figure out a way, I'm just going to be sad for a little bit longer. ?This crazy roller coaster ride used to go UP and DOWN. ?Now I don't trust the "UPS" anymore and have managed to stay down. ?
I'm really sorry for everyone who is going through bad times right now. Just know You are NOT alone. No matter where we are in our IF process, we have each other. ? ?I know I can't be the only one here feeling these crazy emotions right now.
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So far we've done:
Clomid Challenge/HSG/SA
1 Unmedicated IUI
2 Clomid IUIs
2 Femara IUIs
1 injectable IUI
-2nd Femara IUI resulted in a CP (Beta was 16)
-Another CP in May. (Beta 19 Prog 13)
-Ectopic Pg - (Beta 27, 67, 430, 850) - methotrexate shot & biopsy
-Forced 3 month Break
1/4/10 - Uterine septum removed by Hysteroscopy
1/18/10 - Told I have inflammation in uterus. 6 weeks of antibiotics.
2/27/10 - Another confirmed ectopic. 2 shots of methotrexate after an ER visit.
Currently doing acupuncture and trying to lose weight.
TTC since 3/07 -This discussion has been closed.
Re: It's so late and I can't sleep
Very well put. It isn't fair.
I have worked my way through almost an entire bottle of wine tonight.
Bleh.
Couldn't have said this better. Sometimes it really does feel like "nobody" gets it but atleast we can take some comfort in knowing that we have eachother.