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Houston Babies
Need BFing support...(long)
Ugh...BFing is so frustrating. I saw 2 different lactation consultants at the hospital, and finally got a decent latch (before my milk came in). Then, yesterday, all of a sudden, he wanted no part of latching. He would get all worked up and screaming and shaking his head with his mouth open, and I could put my nipple right in his mouth, and he would just sit there. I would try to calm him down first, and try it again - with the same response.
I think it was b/c I was too engorged, so I wasn't able to squeeze nipple and areola into his mouth - so he wasn't feeling it in the back of his throat anymore. I finally used a nipple shield last night, and he finally fed (after all day of nothing!). I saw the pedi this morn b/c I was worried about weight loss, but she said everything looked ok. I tried to feed again with the nipple shield this morning, and I didn't wait long enough for him to get a good open mouth, so he bit down, and made both of my nipples bleed. :-(
I am just so frustrated with it! I mean, I want to continue to do it, and the pedi recommended getting a pump and expressing some milk first, to see if he latches when they are softer. So, I guess I'll try that.
I set up another lacation consultant recommended by pedi for tomorrow morning for some more tips.
It's like, just when I think it's not working, the next feeding goes ok. Then the next one goes all wrong and I am in tears again. :-( DH has been so great about everything - poor thing feels bad he can't "help" with this.
I feel like any advice on BFing online is for the first 3 months in general, not what to do in the first week. I am hoping this is normal, and I am just not getting upset over nothing. :-/
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need BFing support...(long)
It is natural, but not easy. There are a lot of things to learn and you're doing a great job teaching yourself.
Truth is, if we all sat around and nursed our babies together, we might be able to figure a few of these things out. We don't, so we all have to learn in relative isolation - so there is a curve.
For me the night nursery nurse was the one who helped the most. I asked everyone in order to find the person who would be able to communicate the nuances best to me. She was the one who was my best teacher (I also saw two lactation consultants).
I think a pump is a good idea - I was so engorged when I got home I was wishing I'd bought a pump before coming home.
definitely get a manual pump if you haven't already. If you can pump just a little off it will probably help him latch on. He's not yet used to those full breasts.
As for the pain...hang in there. The first 2 days I was all "this is a piece of cake!" and then the pain and cracks set it. Express a little breastmilk and rub it on your nipples after each feeding. Use the lanolin too. For a while they were so sensitive that it took everything I had not to squeeze her little head off when she latched on, and instead I was banging my foot on the ground in response to the pain. But after a minute or two the pain went away (sign of a good latch).
it is hard but it does get so much easier. i cried the 1st 2 weeks from the pain. truitt never had a 'proper' latch but we came to an agreement of sorts where he got milk and not too much air and i wasn't in pain. this went on for 5 mos until he suddenly corrected his latch and looked like something from a nursing how-to video. point- don't put too much pressure on yourself to have a picture perfect latch. you may have to burp him more, but if you reach a similar agreement, go with it.
the thing about lactation consultants is they are people and they have different view points. so, also take the pressure off yourself to find *one* and follow their methodolgy exclusively. take what they all say and adapt it to you and your situation. there is no one answer for anything related to babies. they are unique, each to themselves and everyone needs something a little different, a little tweeked.
i also agree with lilycat- i was lucky to have several BFing friends at the time T was born and being able to share experiences and waht worked and what didn't was awesome for all of us. try and get to the BFing mtg at Womens or there is a huge LLL playgroup every week. don't just leave it up to the LCs- get as many mom opinions as you can. looks like you got a good start here.
you can do it. we have a lot of experience on this board and can give you all the support you need. whatever you decide
first off, congratulations!
bf'ing is hard. i had an oversupply, which made it hard for M to nurse, until i found the best position that worked for us.
pp's gave some great advice. expressing some of the milk onto my nipples and letting it air dry also worked for me.
you are doing a great job. hang in there.
First off, congrats. He is beautiful!
As for BF'ing, it is hard in the beginning. I wanted to quit every day in the beginning from the pain to the frequency. I had to pump to get my supply up and eliminated what feels like a million things from my diet that didn't agree with him (I'm phasing those back in now).
The best thing you can do for the nipple soreness is keep them as dry as possible. My Lansinoh nursing pads are great at keeping moisture away from the skin. Also, set your hair dryer on cool and aim it at the nipples to dry them. This will help them heal faster and not be so raw.
As for latch, this may take a while. I never used the shield, but DS didn't perfect his latch until 6+ months. In the beginning he only wanted the nipple in his mouth, which makes sense because their mouths are so tiny in the beginning. Now he manhandles me and it looks like he's eating a burger with both hands holding it as he nurses with a textbook latch. He had a ton of gas issues as a result of the poor latch so all I did was burb him. I found using my baby k'tan sling helped alot with this. Just keeping him upright got rid of so much air even after I thought he as done burping.
BF'ing is an art. It takes time and lots of patience, but one day you will find your groove. Once you get past the initial 2 weeks of soreness, you will be glad you did. I am so glad I stuck with it as I really enjoy it now as does he. The manual pump is a great idea. I think I have the medela harmony and it has been fantastic. I also have an electric pump so I can keep up with his growth spurts, increase my supply and have a stash when someone else needs to feed him, but for engorgement relief the manual is just fine.
www.kellymom.com is a terrific resource for all things breastfeeding. I second LLL and Women's Hospital also has a Lactation Support Group for the first 6 PP weeks. I don't believe you need to have delivered there in order to participate. Get as much support and information as you can to help you. BF'ing is hard, despite the fact it's natural. It certainly doesn't feel that way at first. Hang in there and I promise it will get better!
Deep breaths. You are doing fabulous! Dont doubt yourself for one minute. Breastfeeding (and motherhood in general) is a rollercoaster ride. Strap yourself in.
I second using the pump or even hand expressing a bit before feeding him. It's terribly difficult for them to latch when you are engorged. Micah is 10 weeks and she still has trouble if I'm full.
Some say not to pump at all during the first couple weeks... but I say heck, if you want to have a freezer supply anyway and are in terrible pain, pump away. I will probably get blasted for that but I've done it both times and have been fine.
Even months down the line things can be okay and then not. The baby could have gas or distracted or just have a belly ache. Hang in there. Even now Micah will act like she's starving and hasn't eaten in weeks and then won't latch. She wasn't actually hungry. Sometimes all they know is eating makes them feel better so that's what they want to do. Try feeding him, try the tricks and if it doesn't work... it's okay try again later.
The nipple shield isn't terrible. If it works, use it. If you hate it, ditch it. I used it both times and then weaned off it. I say if it helps you get through the rought couple weeks go for it.
Thanks for everyone's support! Another LC came out today and watched me nurse (with the nipple shield), and she said everything looks good from what I am doing. Of course, he would nurse perfectly in front of her, then the next feeding, he was acting all crazy! grrr. Even DH commented that he does everythign "perfect" when other ppl are watching.
I bought a pump (Medela PIS), and she recommended me pumping the rest of my breast after he was done, so I could keep ahead of production. I tried the pump for the first time today, and holy cow, it is not comfortable! I thought - oh, this will be nice, I won't have to worry about a latch, but Good Lord, my nipples were being squeezed to death! lol. I had it on the lowest setting, too, so I guess I'll just have to get used to it.
How do you know when to stop the pump? I only did it for 5 min or so just to see what it was like - but after the 5 min, I was only getting a dribble or 2 each 5 suctions or so. But my breasts were still pretty hard afterwards, so I am not sure how long to pump - also, do I need to keep some in there for the next feeding? And, of course I had some blood-tinged milk b/c of my bleeding nipples. Is that ok to give to the baby, or should I dump that side? I mean, when he is nursing, he has to be getting blood, too - so I don't know.
Hugs. You've got a lot of great advice above. I wanted to let you know that I too had issues for at least the first month and wanted to quit every day but I stuck with it for a year. It did get easier.
When I pump I do so for 15-20 min but I believe most do so til no more mlk comes out. If there is a little blood you can still give it to him. I remember te first time I looked down and noticed blood, I about died!
I couldn't have gotten through it without the girls here.
Crazy Christmas Kids!
Get yourself some "motherlove Nipple Cream". (they have an ad to the right)... I liked it far better than the lanilin or the lansinoh. And So did joey. He hated the taste of the lanilin.
And use it when you pump. I would smear some on my nipples before pumping and that makes the cones much more comfortable.
I usually pumped for as long as I had or as long as I saw something still coming out.
you're doing GREAT.