I need to vent about my parents — The Bump
Babies: 9 - 12 Months

I need to vent about my parents

My parents live on the other side of the country from me.  I have no family in the area at all here.  DH works a very demanding job. I am basically on my own.

I am a SAHM.  I have told my mom over the past couple months I am getting burnt out.  I am looking for a mother's helper but no one just wants to work a few hours a week so I just get a breather.

My parents are coming in for DD's birthday.  Right before they arrive DH will be gone for 5 days for a wedding.  I asked my mom if she could please come a couple days sooner to help me out with DD.  I offered to pay for her plane tickets.  I am already burnt out and I think 5 days completely on my own would just be too much with the party coming up.

Her response. "Well, I don't know what to do about dog".  WTF?  Her best friend would watch the dog for few more days than planned.  I just point blank asked her if she just didn't want to go.  She responded she did but had to talk to my dad since he would miss her.  WTF?  It is like 3 days.  

And I was completely livid when I heard my dad's response, "She is your daughter, you watch her!"  REALLY?!!!  She is almost 11 months and I have not asked for their help until now.  

I told them they do not understand what is like to have no help at all.  They had my great-grandmother LIVE WITH THEM for my whole first year.  I remember spending the entire weekend with my grandparents while growing up.  So, they definitely did not ever ask for help.

I am extremely hurt by all of this.  

 

 

Re: I need to vent about my parents

  • I am sorry....sometimes they just don't get it. ?Do you have a friend who could come help you maybe a couple hours? or a cousin you could fly in? I hope you find someone to help you out soon.?
  • All my friends either work or have a LO themselves they are busy with.  My sister is taking her few vacation days to come just for the party.
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  • Yeah, I'd be hurt too.  I'm sorry.  Hopefully your mom will come to her senses and come early to help you.
  • image jlb7640:
    All my friends either work or have a LO themselves they are busy with.  My sister is taking her few vacation days to come just for the party.

    I am sorry. I do know how this is though. All of our family is 2 -3 hours and my husband works avg 60 hours a week and goes to school 2 nights a week.  Is it possible for you to take on a pt job just so you get a break? I go to school 2 days a week it keeps me sane lol.  

  • DH is telling me to just find a nanny no matter the cost.  My sanity is worth it.
  • I understand, in that my husband also travels so I am home by myself a lot of the time.  My mom & DH's parents live out of town and work full time so none of them would really be able to help if I asked. 

    Do you have any colleges or universities near you?  If so, some have programs in which pre-screened child care providers are available (for a fee, of course).  You may want to check into that.

  • Yeah I am going to have find someone.  I just thought my mom would jump at the chance to help me out.

    I will have to remember this when they get up there in age and ask for my help.

  • image jlb7640:

    Yeah I am going to have find someone.? I just thought my mom would jump at the chance to help me out.

    I will have to remember this when they get up there in age and ask for my help.

    I am wondering if since they aren't around your daughter a lot maybe they are afraid in a sense to come take care of her!?!?

  • image *KatieH*:
    image jlb7640:

    Yeah I am going to have find someone.  I just thought my mom would jump at the chance to help me out.

    I will have to remember this when they get up there in age and ask for my help.

    I am wondering if since they aren't around your daughter a lot maybe they are afraid in a sense to come take care of her!?! 

    It is not like I was planning on handing DD to my mom as I take off.  I am just asking she entertain DD while I set-up for the party.  I be a few feet away.  

    My parents are in their mid-50's.  They can handle her.

  • No I know I am just trying to think of a reason. Well maybe they will change their minds Smile
  • Sorry, but your dad sounds like a real tool. Is he that clueless? And I don't even know a mom who wouldn't have just said "Absolutely! I can't wait to have three extra days with that beautiful baby!"

    Natalie, and you, deserve better.

  • Thanks Lori.  I wrote my parents an angry e-mail.  DH told me to sleep on it and if I am still upset in the morning to send it to them.
  • what lori said and diddo your H.  Sometimes just writing it out makes it feel better. 
    What about your H's side of the family?  Anyone over there?
  • image Brookie-Cookie:
    what lori said and diddo your H.  Sometimes just writing it out makes it feel better. 
    What about your H's side of the family?  Anyone over there?

    DH is going to his sister's wedding.  

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