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HTT : Adoptive baby shower

Capricornbaby80Capricornbaby80
in Adoption

I know that I am extremely late, but what are your thoughts on having a baby shower for an adoptive child? I am so excited about planning one after I am matched and start getting my visits.

Lana

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Re: HTT : Adoptive baby shower

  • so1966so1966
    my thoughts would be to have a shower once the baby is home. that's just me:) 
    After 7 years of marriage and 5 unsuccessful IVFs, we have been granted the gift of adopting a baby boy, born 4/21/11.
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  • Jas*sGirlJas*sGirl
    My dear girlfriends threw me one before baby was here.  It was so amazing and wonderful!!  I did have a little meltdown in the middle of it scared that if the adoption did not go through what would we do....one of my girls said the sweetest thing....she said we bought these gifts for your child no matter when or how they come get into your arms.  So I am all for adoption showers! 
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  • LadyRed7LadyRed7

    i am all for them! I do agree that you shouldn't throw one for yourself, unless you request 'no gifts'. 

    In thinking about this lately, i know that we will end up putting a nursery together before our DC comes home. So my quick thought was to do a "sip and see". More to meet the little one, rather than bring gifts.  

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  • jacksjerseygirljacksjerseygirl member

    I think that everyone should just do what they want to do and what they feel comfortable doing. Everyone is going to have a different situation, everyone comes to adoption from different places.

    For us:

    - we plan to have a birth-day party (welcome to the family party) AFTER placement and AFTER revocation period is over but most likely BEFORE finalization

    - we figure that we are able to buy enough gender neutral stuff ourselves, and that it would be more fun for family and friends to buy us gender specific stuff - I don't want to have boy/girl stuff around the house if we don't have one or the other

    - we won't have the shower after match but before placement because the chances of the match failing or placement not making it through the revocation period is high enough that I figure I would be sad enough with a failure let alone then coming home to a bunch of boy/girl stuff - only to then have to send a note to EVERYONE who sent us boy/girl stuff to tell them that the match failed

    I really believe that adoptive couples should not tip-toe around adoption and the excitement of it for fear of all the bad things that 'could' happen. Adoption should be filled with just as much excitment and of course anxiety as you might find in pregnancy. Just as lose could happen in pregnancy so too can it happen in adoption but at a much higher rate (lose as in failed match). So for this reason I believe that adoptive couples should be more reserved about tying themselves to a match or a specific gender.

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  • fenwaygirl5fenwaygirl5
    My best friend and I were talking about this a week or two ago.  She said, " I can't wait to throw you a shower."  My response was my Mom and I were talking about this and I felt and DH felt that we would rather have a "Welcome Home Party". .  I said once the baby is placed with us then the celebration can be planned.  At first she responded, "But you will need stuff for the baby.  If you wait you won't have all the stuff you need."  My response was "Dh and I can buy the basics to get us through and then once things are more set in place we can have a big party."  (My best friend is a fellow knottie who might be reading this.  So to her I say, "I love you! Once our little one is home you can plan away like you wanted to for a shower, but it will be a big party instead.")  This is just my own personal take on our specific situation.  Everyone is different.  If anyone I know was going through adoption and someone was throwing a shower for them I would so be there because that was what worked for that mom to be and I would be happy for them.
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  • Amy720Amy720
    My work, my friends, and my church all threw a shower for us after Ben got home.  It was wonderful to be able to show him off.  I think adoptive children deserve a shower just as much as biological children do.
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  • kmkaullkmkaull

    Our families and my work have offered showers.  I've said that I'm so appreciative, but will wait until TPR and baby is home.

    Some friends have also offered, but I think we'll just do a summer party for that group.  My husband is graduating with his MBA in July, so hopefully we can do a combo "toast DH and meet baby" party.  But I will specify no gifts.  We will be all set for baby gear.

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  • Married3.22.03Married3.22.03
    I think they are totally appropriate.  As first-time parents, we appreciated all the baby supplies just like any other first-time parents.  A couple of co-workers threw one for me, and I really did appreciate being thought of like a regular mom.  :)
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    I think it's a great idea! We haven't even picked an agency yet, and a friend asked me where we were registered!
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  • ColoRxGirlColoRxGirl
    imagejacksjerseygirl:

    - we plan to have a birth-day party (welcome to the family party) AFTER placement and AFTER revocation period is over but most likely BEFORE finalization

    - we figure that we are able to buy enough gender neutral stuff ourselves, and that it would be more fun for family and friends to buy us gender specific stuff - I don't want to have boy/girl stuff around the house if we don't have one or the other

    - we won't have the shower after match but before placement because the chances of the match failing or placement not making it through the revocation period is high enough that I figure I would be sad enough with a failure let alone then coming home to a bunch of boy/girl stuff - only to then have to send a note to EVERYONE who sent us boy/girl stuff to tell them that the match failed

    What she said.

    2 years TTC with 5 losses, 1 year recovering, 6 months applying for adoption approval, and almost a year waiting for a placement. Then, a miracle BFP at age 36!


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  • Honeydew1894Honeydew1894
    I agree 110% with JasGirl and her friend!
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  • marleemarlee

    I think whatever the couple is comfortable with, is the way to go. ?I personally would love a shower, but I have a dd, i don't necessarily agree with two baby showers. ?I have most of the big items anyway. ?

    We will plan a big christening when we feel the baby is ready for a gathering of many people. ?Probably next year. ?Wow. ?Next year this time I'll have our little one in my arms, and I'll be planning a christening? ?Crazy. ? What do you know, there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

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  • crystalpopcorncrystalpopcorn member
    Every baby and every expectant mom deserves a shower. ?You should absolutely have one...just don't throw one for yourself. ?That would be a little tacky.
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