Anyone keeping your IF a secret at Work? — The Bump
Infertility

Anyone keeping your IF a secret at Work?

I'm sad that I can't join the FB group, but I work at a job where there are few women and even fewer women with kids. ?It's not fair but it really will affect my career. ? So announcing on FB that I'm doing IVF is a big no no.

?Anyone else dealing with this??

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Re: Anyone keeping your IF a secret at Work?

  • mvp12mvp12 member
    We are keeping our IF a secret from everyone,but our parents. It's extremly hard.
  • I'm on BCP for two weeks and I just went back to the RE today. ?I realized how happy I was to see her and the nurses because I actually got to talk to someone about my IF.

    thank god for this board.?

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  • We are quiet about it at work too. The FB IF group is a totally secret society. You can't find the group unless you're a member, so you wouldn't have to worry that people would see it on there....just wanted to give you the heads up :)

     

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  • I was, until I started having ultrasounds every 3 days in the morning that made me potentially late for work. ?I finally broke down and told my two coworkers (I'm a teacher in a 3-teacher classroom), but I swore them to secrecy. ?Even though I am one of few women without kids (as you can imagine, in a school), I still need to keep my intentions under wraps because I'm next in line for a better position and I know that if my boss (the principal) knew that I was TTC, he would be less likely to hire me for the job. ?With that said, I feel SO MUCH BETTER after sharing with my coworkers. ?I feel much less alone now than I did before, but I don't know what I would do without this board, either.
    7/2009 - Gonal-F cycle #2 with Ovidrel trigger and IUI #5 - BFP! Twin boys born at 38 weeks 3 days! 8 months later...spontaneous BFP! And twins again! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • just wanted to ditto pp.  the fb group doesn't show up in your groups list to anyone but you.  the only people who will know you belong are the other members.

    may be nosy, but may i ask what field you are in?

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  • I'm very open about it.  With all the 1/2 personal and sick days I've had to take for u/s and the biopsy and etc, it would be difficult to keep it a secret.  IMO if I want IF to be accepted as a real issue that should be respected as such (i.e. insurance coverage), then I have to let people know that I have it.  IF isn't like an STD or anything; it's not like I have genital warts, you know?  I almost feel obligated to be open about it, that way people know it affects a lot of women.

    DH doesn't like that all that much, though, so I can definitely understand those of you who keep it secret.  Completely respectable!  I don't know how you can deal with it so quietly and privately.

  • Yes. No one in my department has kids including my boss. I don't know how they would react.
  • I haven't really told anyone. I try to just call in sick for days I will be massively late, or say I am taking a lunch. It's hard, but so far it's been okay. And I agree join the FB group, it's a secret group. And like no one really talks about IF on their walls. It's all mostly contained on the group page. I even "tested" it out from DH, and you can't see I am in the group. So no worries.
  • In the "chopping block" world in which I work (we've had 3 rounds of layoffs so far this year and I"m sure another one not to far away), I decided it was best not to give my bosses any possible reason to put me ahead of anyone else if there's another cut. So I haven't told a single soul at work. My RE opens at 7am so I just take the earliest appts so I'm not late. For my IVF cycle, I told my boss I'm experiencing some "non-life-threatening health issues" and told him I needed a 2 part surgical procedure I need to be on bed rest for. I figure it's not a lie, it's just not the whole truth. That being said, We've shared our IF issues with close friends.

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  • I take the earliest appointments and have been faking a broken crown for the past week...it's a big secret at work and only a few close friends know outside of work.
    PCOS, lupus anticoagulant, MTHFR (A1298C, one copy) 2 IUIs & 1 IVF = BFN FET#1 = It's a girl! Born 7.1.10 FET#2 = c/p FET#3 = Twin girls! Born on 3.16.12 at 33w2d due to severe pre-E. After 4 weeks in the NICU they are home! Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
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  • It's not like I'm actively keeping it a secret, but my reproductive life is none of my CWs' business.
  • The only people in my life who do not know are my co-workers and my bosses.  I just do not want to tell them - we are not close and I do not want them knowing my business - I am pretty much out on Facebook - but my page is private and I am not facebook friends with anyone that I work with.
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