- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 9 - 12 Months
NBR: I feel like giving up on my dog (Long, sorry)
Neko has some issues. She always has, ever since she was a puppy (we got her at eight weeks.) She has separation anxiety, extremely fearful, and has fear aggression. I've been working with her, every day, for the past two years trying different methods of training to try and get her to, um, ease up. The separation anxiety has gotten so much better and for the most part, the fearfulness was subsiding as well. I've had to ease Neko into each "stage" with DS and so far, we've had no problems. She's a lot of work, but I've been dedicated to help her. However, I have always wanted to get a professional trainer in to help me, but DH refuses to let me hire one. He says, "We don't need it, we're doing fine on our own." Which, I'm doing ok but I'm not a professional trainer. Well, today I took Neko to the park with my mom and DS. I usually have her on a prong collar, but I hate using it and started to walk her without it, so far she's done great. She walks at my side and never pulls, until today. We get to the park and there was a woman walking her lab. Neko flipped out, started barking aggressively and lunging at this other dog. I did what you are never, ever supposed to do, I pulled on her collar and she turned around and snapped at me, and became more aggressive. I could not break her focus, so I started to body block her, which started to calm her down (if she can't see the other dog, she relaxes.) But the woman kept standing there with her dog so Neko began to panic again. I could barely control her, I was extremely embarrassed. Finally the woman left and Neko relaxed. I went over to the swings with my mom and sat down. Neko sat down too and was just about to lay down when a little girl just ran up to us to pet Neko, without even asking. I could tell Neko was uncomfortable (I would be too if some random kid ran up to me like that) so I told the girl no, that Neko didn't want to be pet at that time and walked away. Then after that a bunch more kids ran up and Neko began to freak out again, I had to take her home. I felt awful and horribly embarrassed that I even tried to bring my dog to the park. I called DH to tell him what happened and told him that we absolutely need to get a trainer. He said no and that she was always fine when he took her places and that I was obviously doing something wrong. I don't know what to do. I have worked so hard with her but it's obviously not enough. But I can't afford a trainer on my own, I need Dh's help paying and he refuses to. I don't know what to do. I love my dog, I really do, but I'm worried that she may hurt somebody and we'll get sued and lose everything. And I'm so upset with DH right now, and this has been an ongoing issue, that I feel like staying at my mother's for a while. I know that's childish but he just doesn't get it, and for him to blame me, it just feels terrible. I feel like I've failed.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR: I feel like giving up on my dog (Long, sorry)
Trust me, I know it's not her fault, and that's why I am having a difficult time with this. I know I need a trainer. I know I can't do it alone, and despite how much research I've done, how many books I read or shows I watch, I am not a professional. I don't think that DH gets that. I work at a dog kennel and we have a customer that is a dog trainer, so I am going to talk to her about it. Hopefully she can help me out.
Aww, hon, I know that it isn't easy. Is there ANY way you can convince your husband to get a trainer??? Again, post this on the Pets board and maybe someone there that lives in your community could point you in the right direction. I wish you lots of luck!!!! Keep us posted...
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.
Unfortunately, it sounds like Neko may become a serious danger if you don't get professional help. Put it to your husband this way: DC is getting bigger, will be more rambunctious, etc. and if Neko doesn't get professional help, you may be forced to euthanize her or risk DC getting hurt.
You also need to think about that now, before it gets to that point. It may be in everyone's best interests, even Neko's. I know I wouldn't like being stressed and scared all. the. time. It is sad and horrid, but sometimes euthanasia is the best solution. Here are some other ideas to work through first:
Is Neko crate trained? Sometimes a crate will help with fearfulness, separation anxiety, etc. The crate can become a safe place, a haven for the pet. No one is allowed to bother the dog while it is in the crate, including DC. If she has never been crated before, you will need to work up to it, make the crate a loving, warm place.
Another thought. Has she been to the vet recently? Sometimes a thyroid imbalance can cause aggressive behavior. A full thyroid work up (including Free T4, TSH, and Total T4) would be a good idea. Also discuss with the doctor the possible use of Clomicalm, Reconcile, alprazolam or a drug such as that to help with her anxiety (anxiety can be a major trigger for aggressive behavior, separation anxiety, fearfulness, etc.).
You may not be able to take her out as much as you would like, and I would recommend either using the prong collar (you can put a bandana over it to avoid negative attention) or maybe trying a Halti or Gentle Leader (head collars) anytime you do take her out in public. Safety and control need to be priority #1, as always. You might also try a basket muzzle - they are a very humane way to prevent injury. They allow panting and drinking all while containing the animal's mouth.
So you don't think I am talking out of my as*, I am a veterinary technician, and have had all manner of animals all of my life.
I hope this helps, and I hope you aren't offended by my advice. If you have any other questions, please feel free to PM me.
MKF?