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What's fair in this situation?

Bella427Bella427 member
in Working Moms

I'm posting this on the SAHM as well to see if the responses vary...

As many of you know, DH has been a SAHD for 5 months since being laid off.  I've been working 30 hours per week since returning from maternity leave a year ago.  I LOVE my current schedule but if DH doesn't find something soon, I need to go back FT.  Up until now I've been doing more of the housework and cooking since he's been job searching and doing a little freelance work.  If I go back FT, I don't think it's fair for me to continue doing most of the house stuff while he's at home.  Is it fair to expect DH to do all the housework and cooking?  We have 1 child, 16 months old, if that makes a difference in your answer.  Of couse DH and I will be discussing this, but curious what you ladies think is fair.  TIA!

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Re: What's fair in this situation?

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    JLSBWGJLSBWG member
    If you go back to work FT, then I would ask your DH to most of the house work during the week and then you would certainly do whatever needs to be done on the weekend.  I think that's fair. 
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    carrie4gcarrie4g
    Well, if the goal is for DH to find a job and keep your current 30 hours a week, then I would do as much as I can to free up DH's time to job search. My DH was unemployed right as my maternity leave ended. We actually kept a sitter so that he could job search. it was too much to have him watch DS, do housework and job search. I think you have to go with the flow as your life changes. If you do go back FT you two shoud talk about how you'll divide up work. For now, you should talk about dividing work based on what you're both doing.
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    Taylor44Taylor44
    It is not that easy to do household chores while watching a child.  So, I don't think you can expect your husband to do the chores just because he is at home while you are working.  But when you are both at home, in the evenings or weekends, someone will need to do the chores.  I don't think it is fair for either one of you to be completely responsible for the household chores.
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    jellybean529jellybean529 member
    DH & I split housework/baby duties 50/50 regardless of how external responsibilities (work/school) are divided.
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    kbud9kbud9
    I think in most cases the person who is not working should take on more, but not all, of the household taks. Me and my husband work, but he works from home, so he packs the kids lunches and gets us all breakfast in the morning, and cleans up after. My job is to drop them at school. We both take turns cooking but sometimes he cleans up more just becasue I have the more physically demanding job
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    Mango2Mango2
    I think your DH could probably take on more, such as making meals, and laundry. If he's still going to be looking for work, you do need to realize that that's his job, and he needs time for it, so expecting him to take on 100% of the household work doesn't make sense either.
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