Thinking about sending this note to BM
taagent
member
We need to send a note to BM about another matter and I was thinking we could add this PS to it about the school situation. DH would send the note, not me. How does this sound?
PS- Regarding the conversation we had about next years school situation. I want us to come to an agreement on where D will be attending school next year. I would like for the new school district to be given our P road address as D's home address so that she can attend J Elementary School for fourth and fifth grade.
Not only is J a newer school with more updated technologies and features, it has less students. In addition while test scores in fourth grade are similar at both schools in fifth grade J's test scores are much higher in ELA and Math.
Also, D has mentioned to us numerous times that she would prefer to attend J, which is our neighborhood school. Since it is what D wants and the test scores indicate that she will have the opportunity to do better at J, I would like you and I to come to an agreement as her parents, that she should and will be listed under my address so that she can attend J in the fall.
Give me a call if you want to discuss this further, otherwise I will assume we are in agreement and I will make arrangements, next month, with the district for D's enrollment next year.
Taagent's DH
Re: Thinking about sending this note to BM
Taagent - thats not coming to an agreement thats been told what to do and how to do it. Despite the fact that it may be the best thing - some people just simply do not like to be told what to do and will go against the grain. If that sounds like BM then I would not send that.
How about asking for a time to meet and put all your cards on the table. Then listen to her reasons for picking the other school and address them as presented. At this point put forward all your facts.
Yes we have 50/50 custody.
I get what you are saying and I guess the reason it was written like this is because when I tried to write it before it sounded more as an asking permission/will you please allow than we need to have an agreement, if that makes sense.
Meeting wont work since DH's schedule is nuts and he isn't good at standing up to her face to face - he is nonconfrontational and will back down in 99% of the circumstances.
Yes, it is her being told but otherwise it is us being told what is going to happen and how. That is how everything has been in the last two years and I just feel like we need to I guess strike first.
What if I changed this part?
Also, D has mentioned to us numerous times that she would prefer to attend J, which is our neighborhood school. Since it is what D wants and the test scores indicate that she will have the opportunity to do better at J, I would like you and I to come to an agreement as her parents that will be in D's best interest.
Please give me a call so we can discuss this further and make arrangements with the school district.
Taagent's DH
I wrote it the other way because my fear is that BM will just not respond and then when they enroll the other two kids will just go behind our backs and put SD's address as their address.
DH used to have residential custody but when he went through chemo BM had to enroll her in the school near her because DH wasn't able to take her 50/50 since he was so sick. BM now has residential custody but that started when SD was in first grade, as a result of having to give up his custody to get better.
THe kids would go to different schools anyway, one is middle school and the other is in high school. There is only one middle, one junior, and one senior high school in our district.
What?s your DH saying/doing about it? If he is so non-confrontational and BM was married to or in a long term relationship with your DH then she will know that you are the driving force behind this. Is he fighting for what his DD'd wants.
I mean jeeze if it truly is the best school and what SD wants then your DH needs to take time off to deal with this. He needs to make it a priority in his life. He needs to call BM and tell her 'listen this is really important to me and SD, it truly is the best school and we need to talk face to face about what?s best for our daughters future'.
Unfortunately his district manager is not family oriented...I actually quit working for the same guy after he told me and DH that he needed me in the office to work whatever hours he needed and if DH was working 2nd shift that night then we needed to figure out where to send SD AFTER the after school program closes at 6pm - that was our problem.
It isn't that this isn't a priority and we spoke about it and DH agrees. We are going to send a version of the letter I posted so that BM KNOWS that there WILL be a discussion about this, that it isn't just 'what she or her bf says goes'. The purpose behind the letter is more to make her aware we are fighting for this and that this is something that SD wants and has a right to ask for (better education).
I get what you are saying about me being the driving force and she will probably realize that - but it doesn't really matter, SD's education is important to us and unfortunately to BM it is not. DH agrees completely and that is all she needs to know!