He doesn't want to find out the sex of the baby

Smtih&co · March 2009

I'm having my big u/s at the end of April. I am finding out the sex if at all possible. My DH however does NOT want to know. He says it ruins the "surprise." I'm def. finding out what it is and I can't keep something like this to myself. What can I say to him to make him feel better about finding out?

manda_mullins · March 2009

If he doesn't want to know then don't tell him.

?

My DH didn't want to know, so we had the tech write it down for me.

?

An hour later, he couldn't STAND it and ended up finding out as well. ?

I LUBBINS YOU! · March 2009

I would find out exactly why he wishes to not find out the gender before birth. Perhaps he has a really good reason.

Hubby and I personally feel that it is a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or at 40 weeks.

Augbaby2009 · March 2009

Augbaby2009 · March 2009

I don't think there is anything you can say to him to make him feel better about finding out. My DH was the one that didn't want to find out either. I wanted to know, but after hearing him explain why he doesn't, I was the one that sacrificed, and to be honest, now i'm kind of glad. I think it will just be a bigger suprise that day. But everyone is different.

adharper2615 · March 2009

I look at it as being a surprise whether we find out at 20 wks or after delivery...

nicolehoppe · March 2009

If you find out and he doesn't at the appointment, will he crack and make you tell him later?

alexisz523 · March 2009

My DH is the same way. His WHOLE family waits and they are putting some serious pressure on him not to find out. They keep saying "its the last big surprise you'll ever have" my reaction" then you have a pretty boring life". I convinced him to find out b/c I am a BIG planner. I want to paint. decorate, buy clothes, and I'm not a fan of yellows and greens. EIther at 20 weeks or the day you deliver, the simple fact that you are having a baby is a big enough surpise for me

nsees · March 2009

I would really talk to him about just how serious he is. Maybe it is something worthwhile to honor. With my son, we waited to find out until he was delivered. It was one of the most magical moments of our lives...one that I will never forget. I am considering finding out via u/s this time around to be able to have 2 unique experiences.

Maybe if you're considering having more than one child, you can compromise and try both methods.

Stephany Fritz · March 2009

Unfortunately I don't have a good suggestion to make him feel better, my first thought is that you should respect his wishes. I just have to say how fortunate I am that we both want to know as soon as possible, don't know if I could handle being in your situation - but I for sure want to know!! Good luck.

Smtih&co · March 2009

nicolehoppe:
If you find out and he doesn't at the appointment, will he crack and make you tell him later?

not at all... He can be SO stubborn.

rubytuesday29 · March 2009

I have the same thing going on. My big U/S is the beginning of May but we've been going every two weeks for dr. apoointments so we already have quite a collection of u/s pictures and that started us thinking about the sex.

A "friend" of DH told him that knowing the sex ruins the experience....not sure how just knowing if its a little boy or little girl ruins the birth of your first child but whatever....so now he doesn't want to know. I want to know. At the u/s, I'm going to have him step out of the room and then they can tell me.

I told him that I want to know because there is already so much else that is going to be going on, I don't want to be getting baby clothes too, because I know me, if i have a nursery full of white, green and yellow, I am going to want to go buy some pink or blue after the baby is born. I want to feel prepared and that is important to me.

Besides....its still a suprise, its a suprise in the delivery room and its still a suprise in the u/s room. We might know what genitial is there but we don't know whether the baby will have hair, whose nose s/he will have, whose chin, etc.

I'm going to buy an outfit for whatever sex the baby is and wrap it up in yellow or green paper and give it to him, telling him that the answer is in the box and he can choose to know or not. I did decide that if he doesn't want to know then NO ONE will know. Not my sister, not my mother, no one but me and the doctor and the tech.

aelyngstad · March 2009

My DH was the same way. I wanted to find out and he didn't. Usually DH is extremely laid back and doesn't have much an opinion, but if he decides he something he is not going to change his mind. I gave in and didn't find out. I am so happy that we didn't! It is so fun to not know and to be unique (currently there are 3 other pregnant women in the family who all found out).

I do agree with pp if you plan on having more children maybe you can compromise and have the surprise this time and find out next time or vise versa.

chelsearenee · March 2009

I LUBBINS YOU!:
I would find out exactly why he wishes to not find out the gender before birth. Perhaps he has a really good reason.
Hubby and I personally feel that it is a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or at 40 weeks.

chelsearenee · March 2009

I LUBBINS YOU!:

Hubby and I personally feel that it is a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or at 40 weeks.

My feelings exactly.

AnnaFleming · March 2009

We're exactly the opposite. DH wants to know and I don't. So I told him he could find out but couldn't tell me. Also, I agreed not to ask him. We also agreed that he cannot tell anyone else nor will we tell people that he knows. In public, we're just telling everyone we are not finding out.

karen97213 · March 2009

My DH doesnt want to know the sex of the baby. At first I was a little annoyed by this, I want to shop and have the perfect nursery. But the more we have talked about it the more I am happy that we are not going to find out. I really cant explain why but the anticipation of the big moment is stronger for me not knowing then when it was when I knew our first was a girl.

jmubride2 · March 2009

I LUBBINS YOU!:

I would find out exactly why he wishes to not find out the gender before birth. Perhaps he has a really good reason.

Hubby and I personally feel that it is a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or at 40 weeks.

jmubride2 · March 2009

jmubride2:
I LUBBINS YOU!:

I would find out exactly why he wishes to not find out the gender before birth. Perhaps he has a really good reason.

Hubby and I personally feel that it is a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or at 40 weeks.

Sorry about that! My computer spazed.

All I had to do was tell my husband that we could save money. If you know what it is you can register for everything and not worry about it. Plus it is so great to be as prepared as possible for your first.

rianals · March 2009

I really didn't want to find out and DH did. I finally let him make the final call because so many of the decisions regarding the pregnancy are mine to make. Basically, the only three decisions that he has made have been to try to get pregnant, that he isn't going to ANY baby showers, and to find out the sex of the baby. Even though I would have preferred to wait to find out, I'm super excited to know that we are having a girl.

blairsgirl · March 2009

MH didn't want to know either. We had the u/s tech write them down on a piece of paper. As soon as we got home, mh couldn't stand the suspense any longer and we opened the envelope.

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