Anyone decided not to have another one?

BerriGirl · March 2009

I always thought we'd have another one. Even when things were really tough during the first few months and I complained that I'd never do it again, deep down I really knew we would. And I thought we'd try again around this time - I don't want kids too far apart, and I don't want to wait till Jack is more self-sufficient and then start all over again. And, I thought dh was on the same page.

Until now. He pretty much laid it out to me that he doesn't want another baby because it will mean Jack will have to take the back seat to the new baby and it's not fair to him. And that he doesn't think we can handle it - thinks two will be too much stress for us.

I'm bummed. Part of me feels like he must not like being a daddy to already know he doesn't want to do it again, and that makes me really sad. But, I guess we both need to be on board, huh? Anyone else already decided no more babies?

summerbridesara · March 2009

We always said we wanted two, but now we're not sure. We are going to re-evaluate when DD turns one. I keep flip-flopping on whether or not I want another one. It's a hard decision.

anna7602 · March 2009

DH and I are still too much in the thick of things to even talk about #2. DH works really long hours and I freelance after DD has gone to bed, so a lot of our life together (when we're both actually available) is very fuzzy and sleep-deprived, not fun at all. We definitely wouldn't want to add another child to this mix right now. I can't even imagine how some people do 2 under 2. I figure they either have family around to help (we don't) and/or don't have the kinds of jobs where they are on call 24 hours/day.

Anyway, all this to say that it might be too soon for you to say never again. Just table the discussion for later and you might see that in a year or two (or more?), you and DH may feel differently. DH and I have decided to not even talk about timing for #2 until DD is in preschool, at least. But we never had any desire to have our kids close together anyway.

TamTam624 · March 2009

DH and I both agree that right now is not the right time to start trying for #2. DH has mentioned he would like to try now but after we talked about it, we know it would be best if we waited. We have decided to wait until DS is 2 to start trying.

I do get baby fever when I read about others getting PG. But with the work we do and other things going on in our life we know that 2 under 2 is not the best possibility for us right now.

GRKaters · March 2009

Not 100% yet, but it's looking that way. Recovery kicked my ass; I'm still not back to normal. If we try again, it'll be after DS is potty trained.

lexigrl · March 2009

Not sure if we want another one either...I go back and forth...DH said he is happy with just one, but DH was an only child growing up so he enjoyed all the attention he got. If we do decide to have another one it won't be for a few more years...I honestly really enjoy it just being the 3 of us....plus our dog and kitties..lol.

Judah'sMommy · March 2009

We are pretty set on just the one. We are both going back to school and trying to get our careers off the ground, so now is not the time to add another child to the mix. Plus I like our threesome the way it is. :-) We have agreed not to even think about another child for another 4 or 5 years. DH and his sister are 5 years apart and my brother and I are 6 years apart, and we are both really close to our siblings. So having them far apart doesn't mean that they won't have a great relationship. I think I would be perfectly happy pouring all my love into little J.

HappyNov · March 2009

I'm not saying that we are 100% sure that we are not having another one but I really doubt it. I was sick throughout my entire pregnancy(I only gained 12lbs because I was so sick), I almost died during delivery, she's had to endure physical therapy and she is still not STTN. We've had 3 nights of STTN. I'm just not sure I want to all that all over again. I'm not a fan of her being an only child but at the same time I know plenty of children who are "brats" where there are mulitple kids in the family. She doesn't have to be an only child to be a brat.

But I agree with PP...don't start selling off your baby stuff just yet. I realize that you didn't want them too far apart but you might change your mind in a couple of years. A lot can change in a couple of years...

LaLaSweets · March 2009

I think about it when I see siblings together, but Then again life is going smooth with dd and we are having so much fun cuase we also have the finances now. I'm not sure how that would all change with another baby

Luckystar2 · March 2009

Still not sure yet. In the beginning I definitely was leaning towards never doing this again. Recently we had a talk and I said I could imagine having another at some point, but DH is the one that didn't seem to now.

Personally, I'd rather wait and revisit the conversation when your DC is a little older than ruling it out completely right now. You say you don't want them too far apart, but if you got PG right now you'd have 2 under 2 and IMO that's really close in age. You could certainly wait and discuss again and still have them be not that far apart.

I never wanted DCs close in age so I'm not even contemplating making a decision anytime soon. I don't think we'll have a real discussion about it until DD is at least over 2 but probably closer to 3.

jen_k2 · March 2009

We wanted 3, but have decided to stop now after 2. I didn't want my LO's too close in age and I can't go through the newborn phase again in 5 years.

thomas&lynn · March 2009

BerriGirl:
Part of me feels like he must not like being a daddy to already know he doesn't want to do it again, and that makes me really sad.

Of course I can't possibly know how your H feels or his opinions on fathering but I can tell you that I am the one who is on the fence about having another (DH is completely ready for it). I'll have another because DH is so passionate about it and it's not like I'm dead set on not. However, 5 days out of 10 I'm pretty much on the One And Done side of things and it has never ever ever been because I don't like being a mom. Indeed, it is wonderful adn I truly love it. It's actually more because 1)I'm 34 so feel a little old sometimes 2)I too feel that baby #2 will steal DDs attention adn that makes me feel sad, and 3)I simply won't know how to deal with 2 kids until #2 is here and that scares the crap out of me in the meantime.

Want a personalized experience?

Anyone decided not to have another one?

Re: Anyone decided not to have another one?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards