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What's your bedtime routine? Help!

bryans4bryans4
in Eco-Friendly Family

DH and I have a 3 1/2 yr old DD and an 21month old DD.  Both of them coslept with us; Laura, our oldest slept with us until the baby came and then she and DH slept in a twin bed in her room.  The bedtime routine used to be that I would nurse baby DD, Claire, to sleep and lay her down in our bed.  Then I would lay down with Laura in her twin bed until she fell asleep.  Well, Claire doesn't always nurse to sleep and it's getting harder and harder to get them both to bed at a decent hour because they both want me. 

We got Laura a full size bed and I have tried laying down in the middle of both of them and SOMETIMES it works where they will lay down and go to sleep.  More often than not I end up taking Claire to DH and laying down with Laura until she falls asleep. Then I go get Claire from DH and walk around with her, nurse her until she finally, finally goes to sleep.  She fights it and will sometimes be up after 11pm at night!  Both girls take naps like champs, Claire takes two a day in her crib and Laura takes 1.  I am exhausted by the time I get to bed which is usually after 10pm sometimes midnight. 

I do not want to CIO and that's why I'm posting on this board.  Claire now has the twin bed in her room so I'm working on transitioning her to a twin bed in her room because once she's asleep she usually sleeps most of the night by herself.

My goal has been to get them into bed by 8, 8:30pm but that seems to be shot to h*ll these days and I'm lucky if they're in bed by 10pm.

Any suggestions?  DH isn't much help either, he wants to sit and watch tv.  He thinks we should let them CIO and just spank Laura if she gets out of her bed at night.  I don't agree so I'm the one on night duty.

Sorry so long, thanks for any suggestions.

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Re: What's your bedtime routine? Help!

  • Joes_loveJoes_love member

    i don't co-sleep, so i dont know if my routine will be much help.  but basically, we have lots of wind down time.

    after dinner/bathtime we go up to DS room.  he has a few quiet toys and lots of books in there.  we turn the lights down low and play for awhile (usually 30-60 minutes).  then we read 2-3 (short) stories and I lay him down in his crib.  I say "night night boo, mommy will see you in the morning" and I walk out.  he has a lovey and a crib mirror, he can play quietly in his crib until he falls asleep.

    if he cries, i go back in, pat his back, and say the same sentence.  He usually falls asleep on his own.  if i try to skip wind down time or stories, it's a nightmare.  but, he also doesn't sleep through the night yet. 

     

    Good luck!

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  • WisteriacowWisteriacow member
    My routine wouldn't be of any help to you but I do recommend reading Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber. I know there is a negative connotation with Ferber but what I've read so far (about 5 chapters) actually isn't that bad and he really isn't as pro-crying as people will lead you to believe. He gives good info on sleep patterns and ways to create new sleep associations and patterns. It's worth a read to get some ideas that you can adapt to your own situation and preferences.
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  • kiliwicketkiliwicket

    We didn't cosleep with DS at all and as soon as DD starts sleeping through the night, she will be moved to her crib... so I don't think our routine will help much.  We did go through a time of teaching DS to go to sleep on his own without us actually rocking him to sleep, but we did do the CIO thing, and still do when he's fighting sleep. 

    That being said, the hour before he goes to bed we have wind down time.  He gets a bath, a story read, sometimes I rock him and sing him a song (this depends on how ready he is to go to sleep), and then bed. 

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  • suzymariesuzymarie

    #1.  It sounds like Claire is ready to go down to 1 nap if she is up that late at night.  I would cut the second nap ASAP. 

     

    #2.  You really need your DH on board.  Do you think you can convince him to try a trial period?  Or get him to help every other night?

     

    We only have 1 kid (18 months), but he naps from 12:30-2:30.  At 7:30, we go nurse in the bedroom.  Then daddy come and brushes his teeth.  Mommy does pj's, then we both read him a bedtime book (always the same book).  Then we switch off every other night lying down with him until he goes to sleep (usually about 15 minutes).  Often he cries as he settles down to sleep- but it is in our arms, not alone in a crib.  I think he just needs to let off the frustration and energy of the day.  We doesn't willingly lie down- we have to lay him down over and over until he gives up and goes to sleep. 

     

    Maybe the solution to this is to have your DH take over your older duaghter, with a plan that you come up with together.  Think about how you might be willing to compormise between CIO and what you are doing now.  Could you agree to do something like the Dr. Jay Gordon plan if your DH would take it over?

     

    GL- sleep is sooo hard.  My son still wakes up every 2 hours at night, so I feel your pain.

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