Very emotional day

MrsRyan61804 · March 2009

Its been a very emotional day, one of my very best friends at work's daughter had a baby yesterday. The women I work with are wonderful and super supportive! The day that she told me her daughter was expecting we both cried and hugged, it was as painful for her to tell me as it was for me to hear.

My boss told me that she had the baby this morning when I was walking in, she asked if I was going to be ok, if I wanted to take the day or needed a lil time. I told her it would be a tough day but that I would be able to do this. When I came back from lunch and saw that my friend had come in, I lost it! How was I going to walk in there and put a smile on my face? How was I going to congratulate her and look at these pics? I went in the back door, just to give myself some time to get it together. I was there for a few minutes when I got a call from her, she was crying which of course sent me into tears! She asked if I wanted to see him?! Of course I do, I said! I went down we both hugged and cried, she told me how much she has missed me, how I am her friend and has missed not being able to talk to me about this. I looked at the pictures and of course he is beautiful! Then she started asking me about my cycle, I told her today wasn't about me, today was a day to celebrate her grandson. She said, Tara it's always about you. We never forget what your going through! She told me that her and her daughter (who I am also friendly with) have been so worried about me. Even yesterday after he was born, they were worried about how I would handle this.

Its amazing to have friends like this, but it breaks my heart that this affects other people, that people have to worry about how I am going to handle this. I am truly thrilled for them, of course I wish it was me, but I am so happy for her and have no way of showing her that. It means a lot to have people that care about me, and are sensitve to my IF, I just wish it didn't have to be like this.

I just got done wrapping her Grandma's brag book and the cutest little sleepers that say I love my grandma! Of course I cried as I folded them and wrote the card out. I tried not to get any tears on them lol. I wish there was a way that I could let all these little things not bother me. I wish I could be happy for them without crying, I wish this didnt have to affect my friendships. I wish I didn't have to be infertile!

Thanks for listening girls!