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Don't know what happened/what to feel

weheartrugbyweheartrugby
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I think I had a miscarriage last week, but I'm still so confused and so mad at myself that I didn't go to the doctor to find out for sure.  I'm on birth control and should have had AF this week, but last Wednesday I started bleeding.  Sorry for the TMI, but there were a lot of clots, some grayish, which I read sometimes happens during m/c.

Obviously, we're not TTC and I didn't even know I was pregnant (if I even WAS pg), but I can't help feeling like I lost something.  I had dreams three nights in a row last week (before the bleeding started) that I was pg.  I just feel weird now.

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Re: Don't know what happened/what to feel

  • attyaliceattyalice
    I had the same thing happen to me before we started TTC.  I understand the feeling... but I can tell you that it gets better.  In some ways, I'm glad I don't know for sure because I would potentially be facing my third loss now.  However, I wish I did know because it would make me feel less nutty when I deal with my doctors now.  All in all, in the end, I think you will find peace with this... and also know that there is nothing you could have done differently.  A loss still hurts, but you cant go back now:(  Good luck and best wishes.
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  • Leah&ColeLeah&Cole member
    Wow.. that would be a difficult thing to deal with.  I'm so sorry that you're going through this.  Take care of yourself - with time, it will get easier.
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  • weheartrugbyweheartrugby
    Thanks for the kind words.  It's nice to have a place to talk.  I didn't want to bring this up to my best friends IRL since one is pregnant and the other just lost a baby at 20 weeks.
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