s/o Trying for #2

schmoodle · March 2009

Anyone else waiting (or planning on waiting) a little longer than what seems to be the norm here?

Obviously we don't even have #1 yet, but assuming everything turns out ok and we do end up with a healthy baby from this pregnancy, I kind of prefer to wait until he is at least a year old, preferably 1.5 or 2, before trying again.

Maybe it's because I'm high risk and pregnancy is so horribly stressful for me emotionally but I'm looking forward to being normal for a year or more and not having to cut out so many foods/drinks/travel/etc...(which I realize most people don't cut out the things I do). Also, even if we waited until he was 2, I would still only be 31 when we started trying again.

Of course, I know better than to say this would be a definite plan, I could certainly see changing my mind once we had a baby and wanting another sooner rather than later.

ETA: Probably also relevant that my brothers and I are all 3-4 years apart and I liked the dynamic of having a bit more of a gap between kids.

desabean · March 2009

I am the opposite of you (but I am also going to be 37 in October). I *think* we will plan to start ttc #2 once I stop BF'ing (goal of 6 months) so we can head straight to another IVF, ando fo course if it happens on it's own prior to that even better. I also have cut out a lot of things that many pg women do not but that is actually another reason I just want to keep moving....I don't want to get used to having a life again for 8-18 months only to stop again. I say, get it all over with and then get my life back. Also, my brother and I are 17 months apart and I love having a sibling that close in age.

Of course, I feel terribly guilty and selfish for feeling this way since baby #1 isn't even here yet. And I am old enough to know to not speak in absolutes, we may decide after her arrival that we are done (I don't *think* we will, but you never know).

soccerwife · March 2009

Ideally we wanted our kids 3-ish years apart (started TTC #2 when DS was 2). Turns out they are 4 years apart, which has it's good points and bad points, but it is what it is.

duke'sgirl · March 2009

We will be waiting, but for different reasons. We have 0 insurance coverage and will have to pay off baby #1 before trying for #2. It doesn't bother me though, b/c I think trying when he/she is 1.5 or 2 isn't a bad idea. (I'm also only 25 and DH is 27, so time is on our side as this point)

ETA: But I will NOT be going on any type of birth control. We have a 1% chance of getting the job done on our own, so we'll see!

cjsbdl · March 2009

I'd love to space them out by a couple of years, but I'll be almost 37 when this one is born and DH will be 40. We really don't have any time to waste.

alchris · March 2009

It's not just you! My sister and I are 26 months apart and I've always known I wanted my (potential) children to be a good 3 years apart. My three friends from my Mommy & Me group are all pregnant! I know that IF "should" concern me to where I'd want to start trying earlier, but it doesn't. Plus, I still haven't had PPAF, so it's not like I'm reminded all the time of it nor would it even really be all that possible right now. I'll be 35 this summer so from that standpoint one would think I'd be more concerned (all three from my Mommy & Me group are younger), but I figure there's nothing I can do right now anyway because I don't want to wean which may have to happen before AF returns. (I went 11 months without AF early in my treatment.) If I were to get pg in April, my LOs would be that exact 26 months apart! I'm beyond thrilled for those who are getting re-BFPs but I'm glad it's not me. Now, it's all too possible I'll be singing an entirely diffferent tune by this time next year, and of course I'm aware of that. We want one more child ideally so I'm in no rush to squeeze them in, I just don't want my body to slow down even more since my age is a bit borderline.

somethingchangd · March 2009

duke'sgirl:

We will be waiting, but for different reasons. We have 0 insurance coverage and will have to pay off baby #1 before trying for #2. It doesn't bother me though, b/c I think trying when he/she is 1.5 or 2 isn't a bad idea. (I'm also only 25 and DH is 27, so time is on our side as this point)

ETA: But I will NOT be going on any type of birth control. We have a 1% chance of getting the job done on our own, so we'll see!

This is pretty much where we stand too. This baby is paid off (with the exception of a very small family loan) but our savings took a major hit. With baby expenses to come I don't see how we'll be able to afford to try for #2 for years...if it all. I will be 30 when this one is born, so I'm not too worried about my timeline, but DH is 37. I wonder how he'd feel about having another one after 40 (even though he's definitely interested in having more than one baby).

We also won't be using any birth control, but I really really don't think that's going to result in a baby.

Mrs.K&C · March 2009

In an ideal world, I'd rather have 3-4 years between kids. But, my endo just keeps getting worse and we're not getting any younger. However we won't do IVF again (too costly for a slim chance) so chances are we won't have another. But I never went back on birth control and don't intend to...although to be honest, if I had my choice it would be a loonnng time before I'd want to get PG. Especially if I have to be on bedrest again.

oct11bride03 · March 2009

Give my dx (high FSH) my RE recommended trying for #2 sooner rather then later, even though I'm only 28. My mother and grandmother both went through menopause in their mid-late 30s so I don't want to wait too long. We were very, very lucky to get pregnant with the first treatment cycle this time but there's nothing saying we'll be that lucky again.

We haven't discussed this yet since I'm still newly pregnant with #1, but I'm not going to go back on bcp. My plan at the moment is to try on our own for awhile (I'll be breastfeeding for hopefully a year) and then if we aren't pregnant within that year we'll start treatment again. That would put me at 29/almost 30.

schmoodle · March 2009

somethingchangd:
This is pretty much where we stand too. This baby is paid off (with the exception of a very small family loan) but our savings took a major hit. With baby expenses to come I don't see how we'll be able to afford to try for #2 for years...if it all. I will be 30 when this one is born, so I'm not too worried about my timeline, but DH is 37. I wonder how he'd feel about having another one after 40 (even though he's definitely interested in having more than one baby).

We also won't be using any birth control, but I really really don't think that's going to result in a baby.

Yeah, that's the one drawback is that DH is 38, but he also likes the idea of a bit of "normalcy" before starting back on the IVF and maybe pregnancy stress, so I think he's just resolved to the fact that he is going to be an older father. Ditto about BC - we're not going to avoid but I certainly don't see getting pregnant on our own in our future since I've never ovulated in my life (even after pregnancy/delivery last time - so pregnancy didn't "fix" me like it seems to sometimes do).

LisaMarisa · March 2009

DH wants to wait 2-3 years before trying again. Ideally we will be in a new house by then. I am only 26 so we arent in a rush from that perspective. I would like to start trying closer to 18 months but at the same time I cant imagine having another anytime soon.

LVBlvd · March 2009

n a perfect world, we would wait a few years. but since PCOS can be temporarily curred by pregnancy, we can't afford to wait. We spent 50K on Paige. If I can get the second for free, I would take it 6 weeks pp if I had to! We will go back to the RE in one year if not successful. I do know how lucky we are to even have a shot at getting it on our own.

BoxTer · March 2009

I'm not entirely convinced I want to try for a second, but DH is pretty adamant about it. As of now, I don't want to do treatments again. I think we have a tentative agreement that we will start trying at the end of the year/early next year but if I'm not PG by the end of '10, we're done. I don't want TTTC to take over my life again. Maybe I'll feel differently when we're actually trying, but I feel so fortunate to have one healthy, amazing baby and I am almost scared to push my luck, y'know?

greekgirl719 · March 2009

It's hard to believe DH and I are already thinking about this given that we are only 8 weeks but because we are having twins, DH thinks we will be done after this. I am still harboring hope that we will have one more. Who knows what will happen once we actually have babies in our house! Either of us could totally change our tunes. If we do decide to have another, I think we would wait 2-3 years.

sapphire1398 · March 2009

We are waiting. I def want more kids, 2-3 more. /both of us have a 3 yr gap between us and our sibling. Plus my honey lost his job last summer and is still searching for another so we need to build our savings up again.

alison43 · March 2009

We'll probably wait until this one is at least a year and a half before starting to try again...with any luck I'll be starting a new job in September and I want to get settled before having to ask for too many favors. My sisters and I are all 3 years apart and I think it was perfect--although the parents I've spoken with seem to think that closer to 2 years apart works better from the point of the kids being good playmates for each other. We'll see what happens...if I am "fixed" by being pg and we can do it on our own, that would be great--but I doubt that the MFI was a fluke so we will probably have to resort to IVF/FET again.

GretchenlovesMichael · March 2009

this may be largely b/c we are having twins, but we plan to actively prevent for at least a year or two. i would imagine when the twinkies are about 2 years old we would start TTC again. but that of course could change.

i honestly would think that having 2 super close together would be even harder than having multiples... and to have a 3rd super close on TOP of multiples would probably send me off the deep end haha i admire women that can do it though!!!

yankee42 · March 2009

our original plan was to wait two years. its better for your body to wait a little bit, and i too am from a family with 4 kids and we were all 3-4 years apart..i liked that, but as me and my brother were saying this weekend..when we were young we didn't really get along at all, because we were always at different stages, and we all saw the younger ones as a pest (which i was to him

but when we got older we were very close..we were thinking that now since i will be having all of mine so close, hopefully they will all be very close

MrsACT1 · March 2009

DH and I haven't really discussed it all that much, but I would suspect we would wait for a year. If we did, that would mean back on bcp....which I really don't want to do. We have decided no treatments anymore. We have gotten pregant twice on our own and we know it can happen......

SS091506 · March 2009

I am also going to be 39 in August. Indifferent

We have already almost completed the adoption process. If all goes well, we will have #1 and get matched with #2 within the same year. We will probably wait a year after the adoption to do a FET with the frozen embies. If that is not successful, we are done. I don't have another IVF in me. The 2 1/2 years of fertality treatments before we were successful took their toll on me. I am beat up and broken down.

Waiting4baby08 · March 2009

We wanted to have 4 children spaced out about 3 years apart. Of course I have come to learn that we do not have any control over this, but I will not head back to the RE until at least a year after this baby is born if not longer. I will NEVER take BC and would welcome any "surprise" but I know better than to expect that.

elliek05 · March 2009

I'm going on BC until my daughter turns three, at least. I'm not sure I want any more, and defintiely don't want to do more treatments beyond metformin, but I don't even want to consider the possibility for some time.

marriedgirl05 · March 2009

Well, our original plan was 2 years apart (what my sister and I are), but the closer we got to Evan's first birthday, the more reservations I was having about having them so close together. I started thinking 3 years apart would be perfect. I had finally talked DH around to that plan LITERALLY the night before I tested and got our surprise BFP. I had not gotten AF at all, so we really didn't think we were in the running, and DH was convinced that we would need help again anyway. So now I am having 2 babies 19 months apart! To be honest, I'm glad it happened this way. I was dreading the heartbreak of treatments and I'm so in love with Evan that I'm not even sure I would have been ready to give up full-time devotion to him ever. Even though my freak out moments are starting to come closer and closer together and I near my due date, I wouldn't change this for the world.

happytracy · March 2009

i have been thinking a lot about this lately. I always just assumed we would try ASAP for #2. Now the closer my due date gets- the more and more I just want to be "normal". This was a very stressful experience for me- and i don't know if I want to jump into things again right away. So at this point- I am undecided. I think its best to wait til the baby gets here and see how you feel then.

InLove24 · March 2009

I'm scared of waiting to long. I will like to wait until the baby is one, but what if it takes 2 years again, then I will be 35 and that scares me. I have 7 frozen embryos and who knows maybe we can get lucky again and I can get a miracle pregnancy. I really don't know. I just don't want to wait more than a year.

speak-ez · March 2009

With the adoption we don't know if they will be super close or not so much. I don't mind either way. We are thinking of going active with the adoption again in January (baby would be about 4 months). We would risk having two very close but could also be on the list for a year or longer. It's tough not knowing. Of course we had also decided to never use BC again and with this surprise I'm not sure what we'll do. I'd hate to have to put the adoption on hold again, but on the other hand, after everything we have been through I'd hate to prevent too. Plus, we want to buy a house after the adoption is paid for. Ugh, we have lots of talking to do :-)

tracigator · March 2009

Our original plan was to wait until Benjamin was 1.5 years, which would be this summer. But, we both got baby fever at the same time this past summer and realized that due to our ages - I'm 35 will turn 36 nine days after my due date and he's 38 - that we should start trying again in January. Besides our ages, we also weren't sure how long it was going to take us so that's also why we pushed our plan up.

While we both know that we met when we were supposed to meet, we keep wishing that we met each other 10 years earlier so we wouldn't have to rush having our family. We wouldn't change anything for the world because we adore our son and will adore #2 but it would have been nice to have some time to just be married before we started having kids.

muppet.fan · March 2009

duke'sgirl:

We will be waiting, but for different reasons. We have 0 insurance coverage and will have to pay off baby #1 before trying for #2. It doesn't bother me though, b/c I think trying when he/she is 1.5 or 2 isn't a bad idea. (I'm also only 25 and DH is 27, so time is on our side as this point)

It comes down to finances for us too. We'll have to have our shared risk loan paid off before we even think about #2. And we won't do fresh IVF again. We have frozen embryos though, so we would try a FET if/when we decide we want to try for #2. The cost of having two in daycare also scares us!

We have always said we wanted two children, but like Schmoodle, we want a few years between them. But then again, I'm 32 and dh is 33, so we don't want to wait too long. I'm trying not to think about it too much! We're just trying to enjoy this pregnancy just in case it's our only one.

JillRock96 · March 2009

Ideally we would have wanted to wait until Ava was at least a year (probably 18 months or so) before trying again.

However -- we have insurance coverage right now for IVF/FET (FULL coverage!). We plan to move next summer to a state that does not have mandated IVF coverage (Nevada), so we likely will not have coverage. We basically *have* to get pregnant before my husband leaves his job in MA, or we are losing thousands of dollars. Plus we have embryos frozen right now (kept frozen by insurance at no cost to us), and I think it would be expensive to transfer them and keep them frozen.

So, I guess my answer to your question is yes, but due to major financial circumstances we decided to try much sooner. Since I know from this board how extremely lucky we are to have this coverage, I really want to take full advantage of it!

***ETA: I just re-read my post, and I really hope it doesn't sound like the only reason we are trying again is because we have coverage! I meant to say that we definitely want more (DH wants 1 or 2 more, I want 2 or 3 more), and we want them relatively close together. If IF wasn't an issue (and therefore, cost/coverage of IF wasn't a factor), we would probably wait a bit. But, given that we both have IF issues and we can get treatments covered now, we just decided to try a bit sooner.

ABC-123 · March 2009

Ideally I would like DS to be 2-3 years old when the next one comes. However, with IF I am afraid to wait too long since I don't know how long it will take to conceive. I am hoping our 1st IVF cycle will take, but we all know how IF goes... I guess I am just afraid of another 2 year wait to get pg with the next one...

nicolita14w · March 2009

we will probably wait till ds is at least one, mostly for financial reasons. then again i have diminished ovarian reserve so i don't want to wait too long.

CrazeyJaneyR · March 2009

I don't have the luxury of waiting, I'm 33 and DD took 2 years - there's no telling how long the next one will take, and no telling if I'll lose babies in the process. We're already not protecting - as a matter of fact, we never did.

skoorbnibor · March 2009

I just don't have time to wait. I am 39 now.

Mrs.Greenie · March 2009

Pre IF I wanted just about 2 years in between my children. I hope I can figure out away to do IVF again in a couple years. I think I will shoot for early 2011 to start trying again.

LovingLife_06 · March 2009

I"m with you Schmoodle. I think we will wait until she is at least a year and a half before we try again.

Want a personalized experience?

s/o Trying for #2

Re: s/o Trying for #2

Choose Another Board

Search Boards