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Parenting
DD's fish died....WWYD?
First of all, DD wanted a fish, we told her once she learned to use the potty she could have one. She was totally trained last summer and we let her pick out a fish. She picked a gold fish, it had some wierd fish illness, it's tail fell apart and the thing died. DH flushed the fish in October and brough home a purple beta fish the same day, told her he took Flounder to see the doctor and the doctor gave Flounder medicine to fix his tail and Flounder changed color. At first she said "Yeah...I hope he turned purple!". Then she saw the purple fish and said "I liked him better in orange". Whatever, she got over the color and was convinced that the fish changed color. Now Founder II bit the dust on Sat. This of course is right after she found a renewed interest in the fish telling him that she loves him after ingoring the fish since we got the dog in January. I'm thinking of telling her that he went to the ocean to live with his family, DH is thinking of getting another fish and just not telling her anything. That would be fine if DH ever feed the fish or changed the damn water, but he doesn't, I do and really I don't care about the fish. Would you just tell her the fish swam off or would you replace the fish? Right now the empty fish bowl is on the counter, and she still hasn't noticed that the fish is gone.
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Re: DD's fish died....WWYD?
Replace the fish.
I got my kids each 2 little goldfish on Thursday. By Friday afternoon, all 4 fish were dead. I replaced them yesterday (kids were with their dad). Now, one of the new fish has died as well. I'm going to keep replacing them...especially since I get the $.38 fish from WalMart.
I'd replace the fish but go get a small 3-gallon tank with a filer.
The guy at our aquarium told us he had a Mom walk in with her daughter and say"We're here to pick up Goldie!"
Aquarium guy was a bit confused until the Mom said "Remember, I brought her here the other day so she could play with her friends?"
Her daughter went to the tank and picked out "her" Goldie right away!
DD had 2 parakeets for over a year. The both literally dropped dead last Saturday. They were very attached to each other, and after Belle died we think Beast had a stroke because he couldn't take it. We told her that they went to the doctor and they were going to have to stay there. We are getting her another bird.
At 3 I think she is still too young to understand if we explained that they both died. She has fis too, and if one dies we replace it before she sees it. If she happens to catch one floating, we tell her it's sleeping.
I'd maybe replace it one last time. But, maybe start planting the idea that the fish would like to go live with its family or whatever story, and then if/when the fish dies again, then you can use that. Maybe you could write a little note from the fish thanking her for the good home and maybe a little gift as a good bye present.
This way, its not completely out of the blue, and you can not have to keep replacing and taking care of a fish you really don't want.
maybe I'm just cruel, but we used it as a way to teach our kids about death and heaven...We have Frank the Fish who is in heaven with Great Aunt Ruby (frank died a couple months before Ruby..so I suppose it was good timing???)
HOnestly, yeah, it was hard for my kids, but they understand that not everything is here forever...I don't know. And maybe it depends on the age as well.
I'd replace the fish. I'm not sure how old your DD is, so I don't know whether I'd tell her it died.
This is what we did. Our beta died earlier this month. DD had experience two prior losses, one that which I ignored, not purposely and when DD was with my mom she asked about her dog (which upset my mom) because she had died and she had to try to explain death, which was not so eloquently. Opps! Then my mom's cat died. I explained heaven how when something gets really sick and dies, it goes to heaven, gets well but never comes back. So when our fish died, she was the first to exclaim, "he went to goldfish heaven." I am still toying about buying another fish, ours lived 4 months. If so, she'll know it is a different fish.