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CIO FAILED, DH gone insane, please help!

SobachkaSobachka
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Ladies, please help!!!!!

DH and I are all about attachment parenting, so for 7 months we were doing our best to get up at night, help DS fall asleep. He has not been fed at night since he was 4 months old. For the last month he was up 3 times a night, and DH or I would go in, give paci, soothe him, and , worst case scenario, rock him to sleep.

We broke down and tried CIO this weekend due to major sleep deprivation (we both work and just cannot afford to be zombies anymore).

DS cried and cried and cried. He goes down easily, wakes up at 12, 1, 3, 4:30 am and just cries. We tried going in briefly, then not going in, but DS gets hysterical, and DOES NOT fall alseep. He sobs, chokes...

I am at my wits end, and DH broke down crying today, and I think he is ready to kill himself.

Please help! What should we do?!

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Re: CIO FAILED, DH gone insane, please help!

  • happilyhishappilyhis member
    Is he on solids yet? How much is he eating? How close to bedtime is his last meal/bottle?
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  • WassygirlWassygirl
    whatever you do, be consistent. going in and then not going in will confuse him. what did you read before trying this?
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  • mlf625mlf625

    Have you read a book about sleep yet?? ?I really hate to see anyone trying CIO before they read up on it. ?If you haven't already, read Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and Ferber's book. ?They'll help you better understand your son's sleep needs and how to help him achieve good sleep.

    Good luck.?

    the bug & bee blog
    (read it. you know you want to.)
    anderson . september 2008
    vivian . february 2010
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  • milfy1milfy1
    with time and consistency, it will work.  It will be harder if you go back and start all over again. 
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  • goillini823goillini823 member
    If you dont want to do CIO you may try reading No cry sleep solution and see if that works. I've been doing NCSS modified. I guess I took some of ferber and some of NCSS and have been doing my own version. heheeh. We started it two weeks ago, but than DD got really sick last week so we are back on it as of tonight. GL
    Andrea 7/9/08, Joaquin 4/18/11, boy coming 12/18/13 Forever missed: Gabriel 11/24/09 at 20 weeks
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  • queenie521queenie521 member

    This weekend we started the Baby Whisperer's method of PU/PD and the past 2 night have gotten "slightly" better but I like the method so much better than Ferber.

    Like pp said.........the key is consistancy.  Read up on different sleep methods, decide whats right for you and THEN start applying it because you dont want to constantly try different things or the matter won't get any better.

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  • BabyCakes3BabyCakes3

    imageWassygirl:
    whatever you do, be consistent. going in and then not going in will confuse him. what did you read before trying this?

    Being consistent is the key. But definitely pick up a book first. We did Sleep Easy Solution. It's a quick read & very helpful. You will probably need to wean the night feeds but you wake him up for that. The book explains it all step by step.

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  • anls520anls520
    Is he eating enough during the day?  Maybe he's hungry?  Try feeding him and see what happens. 
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  • SobachkaSobachka

    DS takes 40 oz of BM a day + 2 solids meals (cerela + fruits or veggies). He is 22 lbs - so not starving. Thanks for the book recommendstions. I did read the No cry solution and this is just not working for us. He goes down at 7-7:30 , not tired, we have been consistent with his routine and he falls asleep in 10 minutes. But does not stay asleep.

    Pedi says to put him down and just not go in for the whole night..... I am really at the end of my rope and it was horrible to see DH cry like a baby all morning......

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  • SobachkaSobachka

    Tried feeding him at night. He acted very surprised and ate maybe an ounce...

    We did read the books. Baby Wisperer was my favorite, but still did not work. DS gets absolutely hysterical, no matter how many times I pick him up and put him down.

    Ugh..... this is the worst part of parenthood, right?

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  • canhardlywait1canhardlywait1

    It is really hard and everyone has different views.  I have every sleep book on the market, read them all and like PP's came up with what I thought was a reasonable plan for our family.  I second Ferber, Happy Sleep Habits, Baby Whisperer and NCSleep Solution....

    We used a gradual process in removing sleep associations (rocking, swing, paci) and then cio which tooks 2 days and became our miracle: )

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  • radyladyradylady

    Your DH's reaction seems intense. I'm not sure if you are exaggerating re: his being ready to kill himself, but even if you are: get someone, anyone, in to give you a night's break (or even two!). A family member, a good friend, a night nurse. Sometimes nursing students will work a weekend night for extra cash. It's worth the money. Or take turns. One night you sleep in DS's room and DH gets a night to sleep, then switch.?

    Maybe I'm overreacting, but if you ever fear that your husband's fatigue and resulting stress puts your son at risk, please call in reinforcements. ?

    Does DS have a lovey? A sound machine? Anything that can soothe him that's not you? ?Does he suck his fingers? Does he sleep better if he sleeps with you? Is he teething? I know those are questions, not answers, but they are things to try/consider.

    Good luck! And take care of yourselves!?

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