How to nicely tell someone I don't want to borrow her maternity stuff

MyColonyNJ · March 2009

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE 2nd hand stuff. Just not when I have to give the stuff back.

A good friend of mine keeps offering me some maternity stuff. Basics, like maternity jeans, tees, etc. I am not even at the point of wearing them, so that was an easy answer - I would just say, "well, I am not even at that point yet, but thanks - I will let you know"

My big thing is that I am not too "careful" when it comes to clothes - not even my own. So, I spill things, I rip them, etc. So, I really do not want to borrow stuff that has to be returned - because to be honest, I will probably never even wear them.

I really don't have money to replace other people clothes. So, how do I so "no thanks" without hurting her feelings?

oct11bride03 · March 2009

Oooh...that's a tough one. I'm actually surprised she wants them back. I assume she's worn them once, then you'd wear them and she'd wear them again? That's a lot of use.

Are you guys pregnant the same time of year? Any chance you can just say you don't think you'll be at the same point she was at when the clothes are appropriate for the season? Otherwise I'd probably say you really appreciate the offer but you have a youngster at home and would be worried about him spilling something on them, etc. Kids can be messy, as you know, so that seems like an easy out.

tina623 · March 2009

Tell her you're not comfortable with taking items she wants back because youd worry about ruinin g it.

Smudges*Mom · March 2009

I would tell her something similar to what you wrote here. Tell her that you are a bit of a klutz when it comes to clothes, you are always spilling on yourself and things tend to get ripped. Tell her you appreciate the offer but that because you would feel badly about potentially ruining her clothes, you will get your own maternity stuff.

I'm sure that she's trying to be nice, but this way you are taking the "blame" and letting her know that you don't want to risk ruining her clothes.

FWIW, I'm not s big "spiller", but with a belly, its hard! I find that 1/4 of my lunch ends up on my bump! LOL!

muppet.fan · March 2009

My SIL, whom I love, sent me a box of maternity clothes that she and her friends have passed around. She wants it back when I'm done. Most of it has never fit, so I just put the box in a closet and I'll return it after the baby's born and just say thanks. She'll never know that I hardly wore any of it! But that might not work if you see your friend often.

bethCT · March 2009

I would actually just be honest and tell her that you probably shouldn't borrow her stuff since you are notorious for spilling/staining etc... If you make light of it, I doubt she will be offended.

EastCoastBride · March 2009

Just be honest! wha tyou wrote here- there is nothing wrong w/ that. Just tell her "I'm a klutz and I KNOW I'll probably ruin some of your clothes. I will feel horrible about that so it's probably best that I don't.">

There is nothing for her to be "offended" over on this!

SparklyCutie · March 2009

tell her you've already got enough stuff....and leave it at that.

Christakim · March 2009

Hmmm...I might just take them, say thanks, not wear them, and give them back when you have the baby. It's kind of dishonest though, so I'm not sure how you would feel about that.

MewMew · March 2009

I would really just tell her what your concerns are. But if you don't feel comfortable doing that, just borrow them, put them away and return them when you're "done".

Alison Graziano · March 2009

I would either tell her the truth or just tell her they don't fit right. Everyone is so different shape wise when pregnant I'm sure she won't argue.

Mrs.Reem · March 2009

Accept them and store them. Then send them back when she comes to visit the new baby.

Mrs.Babbsy · March 2009

that's tough. Can you just be honest and say you are messy and now that you have little J you can't make promises about the condition of the clothes and you would rather not ruin them? I'm not a good story teller, that's the best I could come up with.

I had 2nd hand maternity clothes and pretty much gave them all to good will. They are just out of style and most don't fit.

MyColonyNJ · March 2009

Thanks ladies. She is a pretty good friend, so I think I will just tell her the reason why I don't want them. Thanks for all the imput

Want a personalized experience?

How to nicely tell someone I don't want to borrow her maternity stuff

Re: How to nicely tell someone I don't want to borrow her maternity stuff

Choose Another Board

Search Boards