Success after IF

My pet peeve on here... what's yours?

girls that are on 24/7 when they are pregnant or on bedrest and then they have the baby and NEVER come back on. I think it's lame that they want all their questions answered but never come back to help anyone else out. I am NOT here to entertain people. (all the time)

Yes babies make you busy... but these same people can update their blogs everyday???  What is your nest pet peeve?

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Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin. Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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Re: My pet peeve on here... what's yours?

  • AW's!  People who don't post otherwise, only to AW their babies!

     

     

    Or to AW themselves all the time!

    Ella- 8/22/08, Jules and Tuck- 12/15/10
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  • People who come on ONLY to get help but never help another.
    twin girls after 43 months of TTC.. Katherine Emily (5 lbs 12 oz 19 1/4 in) and Karly Elizabeth (5lbs 7 oz 19 in) imageLilypie!!My bio!! !!My Blog!! imageimage

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  • I have more...

    IFer's that judge others on what "level" of IF they had to get to before their got pregnant. We don't know everything about everyone and I don't think there is ever reason to judge. 

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    Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin. Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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  • I completely agree with that Skims!
    Ella- 8/22/08, Jules and Tuck- 12/15/10
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  • I have more than one....

    i agree with Skim, Avesomething? I was really sort of hurt that she bailed... there are others, but this is the one that comes to mind. 

    People who are ALWAYS negative

    When no one replies to my posts  : ) 

    When someone posts a question and they really don't want an answer or suggestion, they just want validation that they are correct. 

    Lurkers who choose not to ever post, but expect us to offer congrats of advice. It is called a community because WE ALL BUILD it,  we don't build it and you USE it.

    whew... I bet I got more...

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  • imageTheSkimmy:

    girls that are on 24/7 when they are pregnant or on bedrest and then they have the baby and NEVER come back on. I think it's lame that they want all their questions answered but never come back to help anyone else out. I am NOT here to entertain people. (all the time)

    Yes babies make you busy... but these same people can update their blogs everyday???  What is your nest pet peeve?

    who are you talking about???  i want to know deets.

    my pet peeve: the "point" system and "bronze" levels and all that crap, wth does it even mean??  and also mean people, although we rarely have that here.

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  • I assume that people don't realize how much time a baby takes in ones life before they actually have a baby. I know I've reduced my nesting time simiply to be a better mom and wife. I understand the frustration it might cause to others though. Totally valid pet peeve. :)
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  • Mine is people who type an 's to mean a plural, or who just use random apostrophes in words.  "Moms..." and "Mom's" mean completely different things!  It drives me crazy, and I see it daily.  Typos happen, but these really stand out.

    My pet peeve that's more in line with the others given here is people who get so worked up about the ratings or view counts.  Some people take those really personally, for better or worse.

    Or, written a different way, my pet peeve that's more in line with the other's given here is people who get so worked up about the rating's or view count's.

    THAT MAKES ME CRINGE!  ACK!!!

    Pregnant with #1 with PCOS and LPD, success with mostly naturopathic treatments
    Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07

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    Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
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  • Agreed re: AWs, although I worry I can be one sometimes...if so, I'm sorry!

    On this board, not much else, I love everyone here! On the trimester boards I get really annoyed when people can't state their own positions on things without passive-aggressively lacing their language with judgment of anyone who disagrees.

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  • imageMrs.Reem:
    I assume that people don't realize how much time a baby takes in ones life before they actually have a baby. I know I've reduced my nesting time simiply to be a better mom and wife. I understand if that frustrates you though.  :)

     

    There is a difference to cutting back and NEVER coming back on once the baby gets here. I think Skoorb and I are thinking about the same person. Yes she tells people to tell us all hi and that she misses us. There is another who I actually saw post 1 thing recently (normally it's once a month and just an AW)  - so I won't mention the name.

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    Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin. Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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  • imageMrs.Reem:
    I assume that people don't realize how much time a baby takes in ones life before they actually have a baby. I know I've reduced my nesting time simiply to be a better mom and wife. I understand if that frustrates you though.  :)

    You are not at all in the group of people that I am talking about. You do make an effort to be here occasionally and offer much appreciated support. I did name one person:  avebm 

    She updates her blog, but hasn't been here at all. Yet she was here all the time when on bedrest. I was hurt when she disappeared, I really liked her and I thought I offered lots of support as we all did. But she took it and left. I offered it without strings, but I do feel sort of like she broke up with is without ever telling us why, you know?

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  • imageTheSkimmy:

    IFer's that judge others on what "level" of IF they had to get to before their got pregnant. We don't know everything about everyone and I don't think there is ever reason to judge. 

    I agree! I wish I could think of another........give me a minute ( I guess I did not really think of one, I just stole yoursStick out tongue)

    For DD - IVF/ICSI #1 - BFP / For DS - dIUI #1 - BFP Dx:severe MFI-Y Chromosome Microdeletion Isabel born 10-15-08! / Baby Boy EDD July 2013 imageLily  pie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I am not a fan of the snarking that goes on on the more basic TTC boards. There is NO reason to be mean to someone who is new at this. We were all excited to begin TTC in the beginning. . .  I also agree with Skim about the level of IF. It is all relative to the person perceiving. IF is a "life crisis" and it is each girl's reality.
  • imagealchris:

    Mine is people who type an 's to mean a plural, or who just use random apostrophes in words.  "Moms..." and "Mom's" mean completely different things!  It drives me crazy!

    omg yes me too - i HATE that.  in fact i take it to the extreme and won't even use an 's after abbrevs.  like BFPs.  not BFP's.  u/ss which looks ridic but u/s's would mean the u/s posesses something.  grrrrrr.... hehe ;) 

    oh and i have many an AW post but i also answer other posts with regularity and offer support so i hope i don't fall into the peevey category... and if i do....?  ah well ;)

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  • imageskoorbnibor:

    I did name one person:  avebm   

    ahh, ok.  yeah i remember her.  although i was still on TTTC when she was pg for the most part i think.  either way i do remember some of you guys being like where the hell is this chick??

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  • Gretchen, I don't find you AW-y at all!

    Since we're bringing up the more nitpicky ones (Wink), I HATE HATE HATE the phrase "big girl panties" and all the other stupid nest vernacular ("puppies and rainbows", "it's a public message board", et cetera). Again, these aren't really prevalent on SAIF. It also irks me when people say "advise" when they mean "advice", "loose" when they mean "lose" and "addicting" instead of "addictive"...but I'm a grammar and spelling psycho, hehe). Oh, and posts with no punctuation!

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  • imageGretchen*loves*Michael:
    imagealchris:

    Mine is people who type an 's to mean a plural, or who just use random apostrophes in words.  "Moms..." and "Mom's" mean completely different things!  It drives me crazy!

    omg yes me too - i HATE that.  in fact i take it to the extreme and won't even use an 's after abbrevs.  like BFPs.  not BFP's.  u/ss which looks ridic but u/s's would mean the u/s posesses something.  grrrrrr.... hehe ;)

    YEP!  Those are some of the random apostrophes I meant.  Many people would have typed "abbrev's" in your paragraph. ;)  It comes up a lot with DHs, CDs, etc.  Or typing "your's"...huh? ;)

    Bitchiness bothers me more deeply, but random apostrophes bother me more frequently, LOL! :)

    Pregnant with #1 with PCOS and LPD, success with mostly naturopathic treatments
    Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07

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    Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
    Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
  • I admit to a bit of judging. I am so horribly jealous of those of you who can start the process again. I feel like I am forever broken and bitter and I can't even do the RE process again. My ONLY option is IVF, and that does make me judge. I am still genuinely happy when someone (especially one of us) gets pregnant, but it hurts just as much now as it did before Ethan was born.

    I know that the last thing any of you wants to do it to start over, with clomid and TI and then IUI and then injectibles, but I can't ever do that. I can only afford one IVF with our insurance and we spent a fortune last year, all our savings on getting Ethan. So yeah, I admit to judging. 

    I know I have an issue. I have considered counseling. But I am not yet ready to let go of my bitter. 

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  • imageschmoodle:

    Since we're bringing up the more nitpicky ones (Wink), I HATE HATE HATE the phrase "big girl panties" and all the other stupid nest vernacular ("puppies and rainbows", "it's a public message board", et cetera). Again, these aren't really prevalent on SAIF. It also irks me when people say "advise" when they mean "advice", "loose" when they mean "lose" and "addicting" instead of "addictive"...but I'm a grammar and spelling psycho, hehe). Oh, and posts with no punctuation!

    I've seen all of those too, and also affect/effect. ;)

    There were a lot of people typing tax return last week when they clearly meant tax refund.  I thought that was the most bizarre thing since I think the difference between the two is quite self-explanatory.  I'd never seen that mistake before last week, and I saw it a few times, including from one woman on a different board who works as an accountant...I kid you not.

    If you're a psycho, then I'm proud to be one too, even though I normally just cringe and bite my tongue.  However, I do admit to more than once having not opened a thread with a random apostrophe in the subject. Embarrassed

    Pregnant with #1 with PCOS and LPD, success with mostly naturopathic treatments
    Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07

    imageimageimage

    Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
    Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
  • Perhaps God only challenges smart people w/ IF and/or multiples b/c I'm rarely annoyed here or on the multiples board but the 6-12 month board is a motherload of annoyance :).  I'll contribute to a politically charged thread every now and then but the amount of personal attacks on there is unbelievably childish.

    Along w/ 's :) I'll add: "over" is an action and "more than" is used for #s.  You didn't serve over 4 million customers, you served more than 4 million customers.

  • imageskoorbnibor:

    I admit to a bit of judging. I am so horribly jealous of those of you who can start the process again. I feel like I am forever broken and bitter and I can't even do the RE process again. My ONLY option is IVF, and that does make me judge. I am still genuinely happy when someone (especially one of us) gets pregnant, but it hurts just as much now as it did before Ethan was born.

    I know that the last thing any of you wants to do it to start over, with clomid and TI and then IUI and then injectibles, but I can't ever do that. I can only afford one IVF with our insurance and we spent a fortune last year, all our savings on getting Ethan. So yeah, I admit to judging. 

    I know I have an issue. I have considered counseling. But I am not yet ready to let go of my bitter. 

     

    DH and I are in counseling since TTC and IF, and I almost feel like I developed PTSD from IF. I was traumatized in a way, and no one around me understood. The overwhelming response was "but you have your baby now"  I can't put my finger on it, but IF will be a part of my psyche until I feel my family is complete.

  • Schmoods, when you were a knottie, did you walk down an aisle or isle?  bruhhaaaaa!

    A) never seen Skimmers so Janet Jackson if you're nasty. loves it.

    b) I can be my own pet peeve. I use... dots.... alot.... but it's just... well.... a habit. lol....

    c) Sometimes I feel really guilty that I don't shell out congrats and happy birfdays and sad faces and back pats as much as I should. I tend not to b/c I don't want to seem fake or false. but when it came to me being sad, and needing those fricken :::hugz:::: it was really nice to see them all. I'm trying to do better.

    d) for the record, I'm a total AW over my kid and I'm not going to apologize. Don't look if you don't wanna, that's what I say. that being said, I can't stand people who think their kid is THEEE cutest in the world, and that kid is not. Then I worry if *I* am one of those, and you are all sitting there going... that Nemo... nice kid and all, but cute? Notsomuch.

    lol.

    ps - grammer peeves - You, You're and Your. arrrggghhhh.

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  • i do appreciate these boards. they are my lifesaver. but...since we are talking about pet peeves, i'll put a twist on mine and put it in a positive way. i appreciate those ladies who respond to my posts on TTTC that are now PG or have had babies.  it's nice to see them visit these boards and provide support, even though they have moved on to other boards.

     

    After 7 years of marriage and 5 unsuccessful IVFs, we have been granted the gift of adopting a baby boy, born 4/21/11.
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  • I thought of one more:

    It's happened too frequently where someone asks a question, I give a VERY thorough answer, and she doesn't come back and post at all.  Just a little "Thank you" or "Yes" would at least help me know that she read what I typed for her.  I've started being more brief in my responses to women I don't know, just because I don't want it to be a complete waste of my time.  I know it can help others, but when there are no responses ever, I get annoyed.  I usually answer while nursing and typing one-handed which takes forever (especially since Kira kicks the keyboard so I then have to edit one-handed), or I answer late at night.  If no one is going to read it, I'd rather be enjoying my daughter, chatting with others, or asleep. :)

    Yes DavezWife, you're vs. your as well as to vs. two vs. too are oddly frequently mixed up!  I try to give people the benefit of the doubt that they were interrupted mid-sentence or something, but it really stands out!

    Pregnant with #1 with PCOS and LPD, success with mostly naturopathic treatments
    Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07

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    Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
    Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
  • imageDavezWife:

    b) I can be my own pet peeve. I use... dots.... alot.... but it's just... well.... a habit. lol....


    I can also be my own pet peeve... I use ( ) to explain myself WAY too much (you know, like this!) and I also use way too many !!!!!!!

     

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  • imagealchris:

    I thought of one more:

     I've started being more brief in my responses to women I don't know, just because I don't want it to be a complete waste of my time.  I know it can help others, but when there are no responses ever, I get annoyed. 


    me too. and I have felt guilty about it

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  • imageskoorbnibor:
    imagealchris:

    I thought of one more:

     I've started being more brief in my responses to women I don't know, just because I don't want it to be a complete waste of my time.  I know it can help others, but when there are no responses ever, I get annoyed. 


    me too. and I have felt guilty about it

    Me too, which is why I'll usually say, "I can tell you more about X, Y, and/or Z if it would help.  Just let me know."  Usually I'll be quite thorough, but there are answers I've willingly typed out so many times that I've finally come up with the short version. ;)

    Pregnant with #1 with PCOS and LPD, success with mostly naturopathic treatments
    Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07

    imageimageimage

    Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
    Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
  • Now I'm feeling guilty and hoping I don't do some of those things!!
    I definitely have spurts.  Sometimes I'll be super active and then I fall off the face of the earth for a few days/weeks.
    I also totally hate the BGP and puppies and rainbows and all those phrases.  I tend avoid the boards that have those attitudes.
    Spelling I can understand might be wrong on a message board but also hate the aisle/isle thing.
    I get really annoyed when somebody posts something and has like 10,000 views and no responses....SOMEBODY has to have a response.  If I see a post like that I'll try to respond and say something even if it's sorry I can't help you but I'm thinking of you.
    I hate that sometimes it feels like a popularity contest and if you aren't one of the "cool" kids you don't get responses to your posts.
    I'm sure I could come up with more but I don't wanna!  LOL
  • i hate that i don't have more time to spend on saif now that i'm back to work FT.  hoping things level out soon so i can visit more often. i love you ladies.  guess that's not really a nest pet peeve so much as a personal pet peeve.

    while i'm at it i will say that i often use way to may exclamation points when i'm excited.  i know it's annoying, but i can't help myself.  i may need to look into a twelve step program. 

     

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  • I agree with alchris about responding to a question and the op not coming back to respond. I don't necessarily need a thank you, but I like to know that the person at least saw my response. Hopefully it helped, or not and that's fine too. I just want to know, so any type of response from the op is OK with me. I know I can be too sensitive sometimes, so maybe it's just me. I don't get mad when they don't respond, but I do get happy when they do. 

     


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  • I feel like I have a lot of questions, but not a lot of answers, so I tend to be a poster who asks more than I contribute.  I read a lot of posts where what I would have said has already been posted, so I don't.  I think this makes me less recognizable as a poster, and it bugs me that getting responses sometimes seems to depend on your popularity. . .

    On the other hand I agree with whoever said that this board and the multiples board have a lot of smart women on them - truly two of the most supportive boards on the bump!

    Married - 7/29/06
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  • imageJen&Andy06:

    .  I think this makes me less recognizable as a poster, and it bugs me that getting responses sometimes seems to depend on your popularity. . .

    I get this... but here at SAIF, responses don't depend so much on your popularity, but more on how much we might know you, as well as if we have something to say. I think there are far more "I don't have a clue, but I hope you get an answer" replies around here than on the tri boards, for example. I think one way to be more 'known' is to reply to the nonsense posts, the getting to know you posts, the AW posts, etc. Honestly, I have been on SAIF for more than a year now and there are SO many new names and faces... but the ones I know, they post often.  That was what I meant earlier when I said we build the community, and it is not supposed to be someone else builds it and we use it... You need to be a part of it, to feel a part of it. I think TTTC is similar.

    Popularity seems to imply we are cliquey, but I don't think we are (and I dont think you mean that!) We do have a lot of us that 'know' each other, but we are always willing to embrace the newbies... the  newbies just have to want to be part of things!

    I am not even sure I am making sense, it is nearly 3 am and I am beyond ready for bed! 

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  • imageJen&Andy06:

    .  I think this makes me less recognizable as a poster, and it bugs me that getting responses sometimes seems to depend on your popularity. . .

    I get this... but here at SAIF, responses don't depend so much on your popularity, but more on how much we might know you, as well as if we have something to say. I think there are far more "I don't have a clue, but I hope you get an answer" replies around here than on the tri boards, for example. I think one way to be more 'known' is to reply to the nonsense posts, the getting to know you posts, the AW posts, etc. Honestly, I have been on SAIF for more than a year now and there are SO many new names and faces... but the ones I know, they post often.  That was what I meant earlier when I said we build the community, and it is not supposed to be someone else builds it and we use it... You need to be a part of it, to feel a part of it. I think TTTC is similar.

    Popularity seems to imply we are cliquey, but I don't think we are (and I dont think you mean that!) We do have a lot of us that 'know' each other, but we are always willing to embrace the newbies... the  newbies just have to want to be part of things!

    I am not even sure I am making sense, it is nearly 3 am and I am beyond ready for bed! 

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  • I have to admit that I am guilty of a few of these and I apologize, it is not intentional.  When I was working I spent SO much more time on here than I do now. I do try to respond to more questions than I ask but I know I kind of disappeared.  I am trying to get back into it now that we are out of the newborn stage!
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  • I knew who you guys were talking about on bedrest.  I was on bedrest and I think I still post TOO much. 
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