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2nd Trimester
Is it just me, or is this a little presumptuous?
Over the weekend my husband and I had lunch w/ his sister and her husband. Almost everyone in his family is a super-planner (finishing Christmas shopping in June kind of thing), so his sister asked when we thought we'd have the baby's christening. (Keep in mind I'm not due until Sept.) We replied that it would probably be in the mid to late fall, depending on church availability and whatnot, and threw out some dates.
My SIL then said, "Nov. __? Mommy said that date wasn't even on the table." I asked her what she meant, and she said that day is the same day as my MIL's friend's granddaughter's bat mitzvah, and that my MIL had a conversation with us about it and told us that date was "no good" and insisted to my SIL that we "weren't even considering it." (Is everyone still with me? I know that was a little convoluted.)
First, no such conversation between my MIL and us ever took place. Second, why in the hell would I plan my life around some thirteen-year-old kid's (whom I've never met and never will) rite of passage? Obviously, I am going to do what works for my family (as in my husband and child), not someone else's, as well as what fits with the church's schedule. I am not sweating it too much, because a) it's a long way away; b) I'm going to do my own thing regardless; and c) I know my husband feels the same way that I do and will back me. I just found it to be irksome. I was just curious if other people thought it was a little presumptuous as well.
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Re: Is it just me, or is this a little presumptuous?
Not that I have anything against super-planners.... but I am definitely not one of them. That would drive me crazy. I plan things in a timely manner when they should be planned. If they can't deal with your schedule, too bad for them!
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yes, this.
If I had the conversation about choosing a date, and that date didn't work for my MIL, I wouldn't hold it that day, because I would want her to attend. I would find a date that worked for those that needed to be there.
However, it is odd that she flat out lied to her about a conversation you didn't even have.
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Totally agree. It sounds like SIL is more the problem maybe..
I don't think it came off that way. The way I see it, it's so far off that to pick that ONE day when you know MIL has other obligations would be kinda dumb on your part. What are the odds that's the only day in the entire Fall season your church will have open? Esp if you start planning early knowing there is one day that doesn't work for the important people to be there (ie: you, DH, baby, your parents, his parents). It just seems like not that big of a deal.
My inlaws often think they've told us something that they've told my Dh's sister and vice versa. I've told everyone that if they want to guarantee we're all on the same page date wise, EMAIL and cc EVERYONE.
My DH often speaks with my inlaws and fails to tell me the plans - I now insist on emailing only and no phone calls.?
No one has even mentioned my child's christening and I'm due in July. Its weird that they're even worrying about it right now. You'll christen your baby when you see fit. Do people seriously plan so far in advance?
Not being snarky, just wondering, in your family/church, is this something done RIGHT after the baby is born? I haven't even thought about our kid's Christening yet, they could be six months to a year old before we get around to it. . .
I know very little about the Christian religion, but my SIL had her son's christening 6 months after he was born.
Not trying to say it's any less significant (b/c I'm sure you don't care about the Bat Mitzvah at all, and rightly so), but those things are usually planned a year or more in advanced and are often like a mini wedding in terms of planning functions. A christening...not so much from what I've seen. Also, from what I've seen is the christening is held in church during any regular church service and a bunch of babies/kids are done all in that same day....again - not quite like the planning of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
::sidenote:: EDD twins!!