Slight ex-MIL vent...sigh.

taelir · March 2009

So we're leaving to see family in a few days. It's been a few months since the last visit, so the trip is a welcome escape for a couple of days.

Problem is, my ex-MIL drives me crazy every time we go up there. She expects me to drive DD an hour and a half from my parents' house to go visit her. This is on top of the 12-hour drive we take just to get to MI.

Seeing as how we're usually only there for a very short time, it irks the crap out of me to have to add MORE driving time to the whole thing. She's never willing to make the drive down, yet she wants to complain about us not giving her enough time with her granddaughter?

I just got a message from her asking about me making the drive again. I'm so tempted to just not respond to it this time. sigh.

Okay, vent over.

SharonWantsABaby · March 2009

That sucks, I HATE long car rides. Can't she meet you half way or something?

Where in MI? The weather is just getting nice up here.

LillyBug923 · March 2009

If she wants to see you and DD, she should be willing to drive and do it....

b.heather · March 2009

Perhaps you could just reply. "We'll be at XYX locaction on such-and-such date. You are welcome to come down anytime after ___!" Then let her decide if she wants to come visit.

JCM083009 · March 2009

How does she know you're coming to MI? I would just not tell her you're even going to be close and avoid the drama.

NewLerma · March 2009

I would just tell her, listen we already drive 12 hours just to get to where we are going, i cannot drive another hour and a half to bring her to see you. So if you want to see her you are more than welcome to come visit, sorry!

5dogs · March 2009

Given the fact that you've made this drive before for her (let alone the fact that you're pregnant & I can't imagine 12 hours in a car), I think you are more than justified to tell her to pound sand.

HeyyRed · March 2009

I would simply say that given the drive you already have to do, you are unable to make the drive because you are pregnant and it's just too much driving. You've been happy to do so in the past but this time it will be too much. If she wants to take the bus or the train to see DD, you'd be happy to pick her up and take her back to the station but this additional journey is not in the cards for this trip.

?That seems entirely fair.?

taelir · March 2009

SharonWantsABaby:
That sucks, I HATE long car rides. Can't she meet you half way or something?
Where in MI? The weather is just getting nice up here.

Good old Kalamazoo!

mistresscox · March 2009

b.heather:
Perhaps you could just reply. "We'll be at XYX locaction on such-and-such date. You are welcome to come down anytime after ___!" Then let her decide if she wants to come visit.

This! That way it's on her if she doesn't visit.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · March 2009

If she is capable of driving, then I would tell her where she can find you. If she isn't capable, then I would take the extra drive so that she gets to see your DD.

taelir · March 2009

JCM083009:
How does she know you're coming to MI? I would just not tell her you're even going to be close and avoid the drama.

Friends and family usually post stuff on my FB, which is how she sees it.

I really don't mind seeing her - for the most part she's not bad to deal with - I've just gotten tired of always being the one to make the extra drive on top of what we already do to get up there.

UrAnIdiot · March 2009

taelir:
SharonWantsABaby:
That sucks, I HATE long car rides. Can't she meet you half way or something?
Where in MI? The weather is just getting nice up here.
Good old Kalamazoo!

thats where i'm from! i met my hubby at college and moved to KY this past summer. ohhhh kzoo...

thatgirlang · March 2009

b.heather:
Perhaps you could just reply. "We'll be at XYX locaction on such-and-such date. You are welcome to come down anytime after ___!" Then let her decide if she wants to come visit.

This is what I would do.

ladysingstheblues · March 2009

taelir:

JCM083009:
How does she know you're coming to MI? I would just not tell her you're even going to be close and avoid the drama.

Friends and family usually post stuff on my FB, which is how she sees it.

I really don't mind seeing her - for the most part she's not bad to deal with - I've just gotten tired of always being the one to make the extra drive on top of what we already do to get up there.

This is why facebook is the devil.

k_leigh_d · March 2009

thatgirlang:
b.heather:
Perhaps you could just reply. "We'll be at XYX locaction on such-and-such date. You are welcome to come down anytime after ___!" Then let her decide if she wants to come visit.

This is what I would do.

also agreeing with this, hon.

taelir · March 2009

Thanks ladies - most likely that's what I'll be doing. If she wants to biitch, she'll just have a hormonal pg woman to contend with at that point. hehe

Sometimes you just need to get the vent out and over with

MrsLeslie030405 · March 2009

My MIL is such a biotch... can't image having to deal with an ex-MIL also! You have my sympathy!

mags2144 · March 2009

b.heather:
Perhaps you could just reply. "We'll be at XYX locaction on such-and-such date. You are welcome to come down anytime after ___!" Then let her decide if she wants to come visit.

I like this idea-- she can't expect you to drive to her every time!!

mags2144 · March 2009

HeyyRed:

I would simply say that given the drive you already have to do, you are unable to make the drive because you are pregnant and it's just too much driving. You've been happy to do so in the past but this time it will be too much. If she wants to take the bus or the train to see DD, you'd be happy to pick her up and take her back to the station but this additional journey is not in the cards for this trip.

That seems entirely fair.

This, also, seems very fair. It would be fair even if you weren't pregnant! And given the fact that you are-- your ex-MIL had better be more understanding.

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Slight ex-MIL vent...sigh.

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